Welcome.

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2014

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This, too, shall pass. (melt)


go live today and tell me how it felt.

there's nothing left to mellow me, let's melt

into soupy serendipity like stars in a belt

no apples for a doctor to sell. we're bobbing for shells

pop your Klonopin. watch the pin drizzle onto the floor

cliffside the monolith's shore. comet dust our water resource

chlorinated puddles in a tropical storm

swan-dive, the cannonball was par for the course

i left you, shallow and warm. gasping for more

battled disorders by our lonesome but together we mourn

its a legend reborn, reformatted and edited forward

nestle mugs and christmas decor. Mademoiselle at the door

metal cases metamorphic melatonin your pores

amazonian warlord. anybody's crush but nobody's whore

let me open it. rotate the torque and hope that it turns

hiss hateful words and hope that it burns. who am i kidding?

i just wrote you a verse with a prayer that it helps

you know exactly how to make me stay. you made me yourself

coveralls and chuckie dolls your barbie collection

is art in its essence. human being or mark of retention

plastic moldy manifold a point of contention

wax features wax poetic. full attention you're granted

melt into your handprint our identity clash

i would have made us happy if you asked

but ye without anticipation never detaches 

thinking to himself: this, too, shall pass



NEVERMIND.


i cannot give a fuck. i'll write what i want

take a stab at the hatchet and give the rifle a shot

let me burrow through your barriers like mice in a crop

Feynman and Kant. skimmed over dinner menu wine and croissants

iron giant half-inactive, disassembled for stock

whenever people feel mechanical i'm silent a lot

sometimes more subtle than not. Alpha wave Omega goodbye 

most wanted re: collaborations, dead or alive

rhyme measure refined. Art Deco architect when stenciling lines

my medicine's barbiturate, my pencil is pine

driven towards expression i could never resign

i'll sever everything to save this little treasure of mine

anti-anxiety the ventilation, dust in the wind

i pissed away the juice and now there's nothing but gin

go let your company in. sink into stupor, recline

i've shared too much to realize this tumor's benign

words are casted shadows of the truth in design

but numbers always bothered me. i'm used to the lies

soothsayer sonic giga-wattage futurist-minded

slow mutant huffing fuselage accusing the pilot

Nazi General ISIS. another suicide confused as a mission 

casualties, a study of the human condition

allow the stupor to sink. now make a stupid decision

they sent a letter. nevermind, this tumor's malignant


CONFESS.


i've been wishing for a perfect moment. maybe it's now

patient denial. sit in solitude and wait for a sound.

save me a smile for when it's over and we're back at the house

fight and claw then fuck so that it balances out

i feel manic one moment and then i'm somber the next

that center-point's the closest thing to God I've accepted

beautiful in hateful times, chaotic at best

slide 3 coins into the slot so i can call you collect

i've watched my circle turn to addicts, dealers and lawyers

as the drippy sun drops behind a field of sequoias 

searched for solace in the sciences and fell in the cracks

lit a candle for my fallen love and melted the wax

I'm centered, self-centrifugal and selfish at that

it takes a lot of chemicals to help me relax

self-awareness is the devil's romance, salty her flesh

summer dusk, graveyard passages. so foggy our breath

that it stuck to our exchanges as we talked of resent

until we reached the parking lot and parted. confess

your secret inner monologues or live with a ghost

like moldy bacterium on a cellular host

infection, she wrote. grab my wrist and check for a pulse

let the silence sink and watch me float..

i feel like i don't even know my friends anymore

more alone than ever as they enter the door

lighter flame and bottle glass and trips to the store

sweating icy bullets as the temperature soars

betwixt our stories long-distorted like olympian lore

we fantasized in unison of treasures galore

bloodletter platelet perforation festering sores

moi cheri amore. i love you but there has to be more

comfort is a luxury we've taken for granted

i'd trade it all away for just a taste of enchantment

necromantic my dossier, documental the curse

which is likely the reason i've never finished a verse



GRAVE.


i wrote a dissertation and i labeled it death

coffee smoke and alcohol to make it correct

its almost like an algorithm, maybe it's less

more like tendencies and habits that will lay me to rest

known to be repetitive like gospel or song

peeling back the skin to let a concept evolve

i killed the bottle and laughed. i felt resurgence, resolve

now walk away. it's not your murder to solve. dirt in my palm

toss it in your casket like a personal offering

pencil to the paper once the curtains are drawn

many tagalong and bottomfeed like urchins or moss

follow my distortion like it's sermon or psalm

it's foolish now to recreate what's destined to change

see: weathervanes and everyday affectionate gazes

set in your ways. i hate you but i want you to stay

i want you to stop me before i lock me away

sobbing while i polish my cage. it's not my gospel to praise

it's not constant malaise. it's like a wash in the rain

as toxic as it is we idolize it the same

follow me, the real odyssey, a walk to your grave



DISEASE.


I stared at the water.. watched it ripple and roll

surface shimmering like gemstone fields ascending the cove

some treasure is golden. nickel-plate possessions to own

all i crave is utter silence for a minute or so

the doorway showed itself within the bark of a tree

so i stripped the nearest branch and started carving a key

seen that it was all a dream and started from scratch

walking faster. watching cloud formations mark me a path

to where the world was thinner. where the portals were guarded

by phantoms of the faraway. long forced into darkness

watched a man die and put a torch to his carcass

as it burned i felt a bitter sense of mortal catharsis

folklore as knowledge for fanatics who invest in distraction

there's everything to witness but far less to be captured

there's character in action and persona in speech

home of the reaper. ghost of a preacher, soul of a beast

nobody moves, nobody's saved. nobody leaves

we're rotary, wheel spokes who serve the flow of the beams

smell the disease. that old aroma. aromatic, it breathes

you don't have to understand. i'd rather have you believe



On nonsense:


am i overindulgent or am i undeveloped

it's just another dilemma we've hidden under the rug

a new suburban asylum earns me a stub for the Metra

cross-terrain in search of something to love

pull the plug. dual person personifier promiscuous rat

and everyone i know is on a similar track

you are the top 5 people you consider your pack

shifting endlessly as friendships collapse. pressure react

time and space and slow to motivate. dead in the water

far less than an author. known anywhere from Geoffrey to Chaucer

stroked the furry wall once she extended an offer

on the house. pussy purrs for both a prince and a pauper

economics and culture. red the rum, colonic the ulcers

i'll watch apocalypto as the comet approaches


Elysium (featuring Split)


ive had acid rain on a permanent loop.

and the rhymes still resurface in two's.

i wonder if consonance has deeper significance.

in truth, speech at its synthesis as profound

as fountains are deep. missives expound

on mountains of me. & the echo is sobering.

stencils, I'm totaling up to rough drafts of dreams.

the sketchy half- between asks us for audacity

to stop casting deep. expectations can cede.

i stare at my handwriting and can't see the progression.

I care for my family and can't beat the depression.

genetics dictate the alpha omega

in nostalgic arrangements. bloodline in cursive.

once, I was perfect. every memory tessellates in

a memorial collage with the softest inertia.

the story of god is a process of learning.

rum runs deeper than wine. troughs & capillaries.

noxious adversary. when I leave her tonight,

tomorrow will gloss in the streaks of her eye.

graduate thesis on sadness & bullshit.

I capture it well. waxing some grievance.

I'm an adjective cultist with a rack of condolence.

talk, & you can tell it exists. tap & control it.

artificial alive. intelligence simmed 

like a season of 'chell. and seldom, it sticks,

wisdom drifts through your mind,

appeasing yourself is a sin & I'm a demon from hell.

i'm tethered to fabienne. monika. the seat of the bell

till the last one rings & boy meets world.

phony is honest. pitch the inflection. catch her in rye.

Elysium lives as a trick of your mind


fine,


i've had Manson Family skipping the vinyl. 

ticking as time, religiously since 6:45

Snake Eyes and Sissies alike. let the children inside, 

serve dinner, then dine. roll cigarettes. flames flicker and die

bonfire blacken the sky. cornhusk whiskey and pine

bending over paperbacks with delicate spines

you say it's literature, fine. i say it's documentation

the impossible playlist - ideology on a constant rotation

forgotten and naked. drink half a bottle and chase it

drop a little honey. let the colony taste it

broken clock with a facelift. bells toll for honesty's sake

buzzing on the table. time to call in your favors

who's at fault for behavior? is it the martyr or savior?

follow monika's gaze. solemnly. it's part of her nature

to empathize from distances and fake it in person

let her cherry glow in darkness to create a diversion

feel her breath rise like worship. our embrace, so imperfect

lungs break beneath the weight of inertia. exhale again

see, this life has a funny way of making me nervous

so let me sleep, only to wake at the service. dearly departed:

may you rise above delirium often. it's a parallel doctrine --

rainwater in harvest season, tears in a coffin

may your spirit pass, untarnished towards wherever you'd like

once i left you tonight, i knew you'd never return

let my corneas burn. acid rainstorm weather resurge

listen once again and watch the memories blur

its all eventually dirt. eventually's a helluva word

condemning tomorrow. embalming present, preserved

we'll all eventually learn. we're trading karma for goods

listen closely. Skull Kid's alive. still lost in the woods

woodwind melody to marinate the mourners maraude

who praise Elysium, but realize it's all a mirage.




Drippy eye / Perfect.


drippy eye the sinusitis. here to synthesize a virus

psyche liquified at dinnertime we sit around the cyprus

minimize the window looking dignified, designer

and distinctive, middle-class, middle-child, via vagina

lemongrass, smoke your epitaph its time to decease

recline, release. sometimes it feels like being tied to a leash

21st century where rhymes are typist elite

and 20 bucks a month buys anyone a license to preach

still as muddy waters, feeling hype as a beast

yeah it might have been real. but maybe i've been asleep

indecisive delete. rewrite and polish and prime

nature-freak in leather loafers. metropolitan mindset

jenga topple refinement easily like comets and climate

the only option is climb when there's a mountain ahead

crawling out to the ledge. veins of riverbeds, firry her flesh

complexion like a crescent-moon wolves howl at instead

slanting couplets with a signature scent to follow in jest

i keep sriracha on my tacos and a lock on your neck.

i'm from where you never wanna be best. you're mocked for respect

we stare at heaven everyday but settle for less

darling, you're a mess. let's get you out of that dress

step out for a second. powder your nose. your powder is best

from ottoman to desk i'm Dr. common as dirt

give me shirts made of cotton and an office to work

there's honor in tradition and a calm in the current

any job done with dignity is totally worth it.

everybody's lovable regardless of their purchases

consider being anything at all. you're always perfect.




Padmasana.


jada pinkett-smith-n-wesson. aim it at your kid's confession

let them die in solitude. your atheism: ineffective 

mountaintops at suppertime. the opulent, the iridescent

plaster smear collage suggestive. murder what she disinfected

common theme: the disconnect, affection or hatred

breakfast is bacon. tables set for pleasantry's sake

the headrush. relish it, wait. close your eyes and follow the trace

our sidewalk ends along the blockage we paved. solemn and gray

business cards the lobby for change. clocks in the morgue

seem pointless like politics pre-Solonic reform

deadman, half zombie/half lawyer. literal Lebron in the courts

Muhammad with a ring like Tails and Sonic absorb

hostile, but moreso idiotic and tortured. rocket the torso

swallowing swords on phencyclidine in goggle and snorkel

constance amore. let me into all of your doors, darling

i could make you want me if i wanted it more

with a black metal credit card the confidence soars

but you're not at the store. and here the conflict arises

narcotics and nitrous at any festival ground

seizing on a blanket in the midst of a crowd

lungs, stomach, gallbladder, liver and heart

listen closely to your muscle tissues ripping apart

unraveling. vitality like yarn in a spoke

cartilage rope. i let it SNAP so i could talk to a ghost

onomatopoeia. click. focus and zoom

i always feel like everything is over too soon

watching moments accrue. checkmark goals to fulfill

make proposals at will. & still window-shop like @oats in Brazil

congratulations, grab an ass. think lavish when you plan engagements

send expensive invitations. spring for lace and lamination

stick it to the latin nation. hammer wasted, killer shark

killer dart, killer cobra. smoke and sarsaparilla soda

snot sulfur. sinus cinnamon. syntactic cirrhosis

barely focused, talent natural like chamomile. or yoga

composite grain alcohol and standard neurosis

blocking cellular functioning like a handful of Motrin

sand and salt and solitude. that coastal aroma

cognitive closure. meditative padmasana, the lotus 

juvenile, slow motion. weezy after blazing a pack

making memories a manifest while making it clap

everything is everything. it's basic as that -

one man's catacomb is just another maze for the rats




Go.


butterfly knife into your jugular, choke

out a guttural note. black moth super rust in the spokes

i wanted to know who you became after we ended off. you never called

you're no muse. you're an episode. empress of the epilogue

tentacles you cross like pentecostal depiction

talk to me the way you talk to the children. with composition

stop at jewel-osco when i walk to division

buy you twenty truffles and a pasta with chicken

brickyard manor, project building flatline college tradition

web-registered for pottery for something to piss in

jackets in the cubby. wearing sox in the kitchen

milk-and-cookie midnight hour where monsters revisit

its a mantra we live in. idiot. we're idioms alive

raging towards machinery in systems of a rise

symptomatic times, cold-sore lip sync every tune

there's someone here. i only wish it was you.




From, a lighthouse in wilderness.


rain-forestation. ancient oaks and leathery palms

virgin rose who spreads her petals at dawn. the scent of a song.

microcosmic soldiers labor steadily onward

to build a temple for her graciousness, her heavenly conquerer

desert mirage. let your defenses dissolve, eyes wide open afar

squint hard at the horizon til your focus is sharp

a gentle lap of waves to serenade our boats at the harbor

coats of armor, chains of iron and goblets of lager

we drink around the fire and go to war for our fathers

bloodlust thrones in his honor. but we're still children at heart

kids at the park. sitting next to trees and picking the bark

light reveals our troubles but we're scared of the dark

its what tears me apart. whats causes others to bond

don't tell me it's okay. don't leave me. something is wrong

another sip of the flask .. i know her. she's a thing of the past

i saw her in a snow-globe down on Michigan Ave

behind that glass she was everything i missed in a class

inspiration, innovation, most instinctual. 

a flash card of indivisible math, queen without a kingdom to crash

may our children crawl as emperors the second they hatch

earth will quiver at their feet. Pangaea fissure, collapse

flesh a masterful arrangement of it's liquid and gas

feel it licking your hands. fire is wise, it quickly advances

stop to smell the sap bubble as it catches the branches....

deforestation. the matchstick. dragonflies and arachnids

analyze the acumen, mastermind or a savage

strategizing, the strategist. i live to observe

diagnostic referral book when symptoms occur

distanced the world, looked close, and with a vague satisfaction

committed words to paper scrolls like Plato in Athens

watched it burn. flame, disaster - another page in the chapter

i never asked why. never prayed for an answer

gray matter stretch like jungle webs extending across

impression and cause. ancient oaks and leathery palms

memory, thought - cliffside beside the evergreen moss

waiting for the man in black to shepherd me off it

lady in the window. please, remember me often

as you pace around your newly-single bedroom apartment

reap the harvest. psych unit, human vegetable garden

dream and laugh and perish. nothing but intention and carbon

manifests the manifold and skeletal frame

most conceptual constraints include resistance to change

so change, stop resisting. it's a seminal age

our structure needs a nobleman and peasant the same

rotting in a tavern like the Western decay. wrecked for a day

drink gin and puke blood upon a relative's grave

burn it down. let it breathe, let us treasure the peace

we've received. watch the coastline as the water recedes..

Syrup Skin.


syrup skin. tasting maple sugar coating a branch

milky flesh like fallen snow in the grass. folkloric romance

iron lemonade. paper acid hydrochloric, entranced

by the sound of it. it's counterfeit. please pour me a glass

choke. nostrils run a yolky yellowish tinge

keystroke letter syringe. soak. she wrote a heroin binge

leaking larynx fluid onto canvas for paint

savage and saint. eating passion fruit and masking the pain

candlestick imaginative on paraffin page

lighter fluid nightmares help me live for the day

set to engage. neon thunderstorms ecliptic invasion

while i'm building walls to keep them out of papier-mâché 

it makes me anxious to say this. but i'm fading away

scared to face the finale but it was only a phase

time to reevaluate the roads that you've taken

when egoism overtakes your social engagements

ambrosian the plates, tectonic monolith shape-shift

mass recolonization. anthropological matrix

kafkaesque, the jaded. it was a novel mistake

allowing me to occupy this column of space

microcosmos retraced. manifest the marvelous. wait

let me let it breathe. take a minute. pause and replay -

for honesty's sake let's all just admit it, we're fake

i'll take a warm bullet over heartless embrace

starry your gaze. stacked like Giza's architectural slaves

Pharaoh pheromones. Imhotep's ancestral remains

the only conviction that never led me astray:

shoot the messenger but kill the one the messenger blamed

stasis still provides a rather comfortable state

cuz every step forward is a step in the grave

can't help but feel like everything i write is in vain

because it never feels the same. the worst addiction is change

but that's nature and it stays. human conditions are strange

nothing like the sciences could ever explain. like

if April can extinguish a particular flame

we'll abandon dry shelter just to sit in the rain

sit with me and speak beneath the willow at 5

limbs warping under pressure like developing minds

speak and make me real to you. i'm rotting inside

it's like the only thing i fear is being alive




Meditation II


bourbon and tea - chemic bondage like lysergic relief

hurting to breathe. once i fell asleep i learned to be free

you melted into candle wax, conservatively

holding it together as our tourniquets bleed

surreptitious the surrender signs and velvet the screen

nothing to believe and even less to be seen

high beams on the Chevy, cigarette in the jeans

right-hand to god, sieg heil inside a leftist regime

the best conceptually. but that's interpretive nonsense

curbside in Yonkers squatting dirty apartments

ghost or goblin. paint-marker carving words on a wall

abnormal present cat collective murder us all

titan, the destroyer, cliffside, monolith sculptures

collapse. see: rock of gibraltar columns or a popular culture

passover the pipe. passing out on the sofa

it's all kosher. enter coma needle puncture aromas

industrial soldier, brooks brothers, leather the loafers

butterfly my steak and knife set. guns full of holsters

left nothing to chance. leaving nothing but gnosis

to a tribe of indecisive rhyme composers, so it goes

i find it hard to focus. its becoming a blur

raindrops your meditation, thunder your nerves

6-string satin wave a serenade, percussional purrs

love is a hearse. what an understatement. fuck what you heard

trust is the first and truth is the last. how stupid to ask

she said it's moving too fast. i took my foot off the gas

two pulls and a pass. twenty paces and shoot

we're yin and yang, the archetypes like hades and zeus

is it you? i hear you breathing. insufflating delusion

it's pain, confusion, faith. it's intravenous, it's human

teenage mutants, grated sewer life is taking it's toll

an emperor destined to never make it to Rome

or make it to Cyprus. deadman island, staying patiently private

Marcus Aurelius mindset - reading Plato in silence

turn your wife into a deviant, your slave to a siren

screaming like a blade was perforating her hymen

deadlines i procrastinate like paper assignment

cause every statement feels like excavating a diamond

accreditation ever-changing like empirical science 

i've stepped out for the evening, leaving Baron to Mynd it

gondola the tigris, Isis shaking the boat

money well-spent is money made into hope

tea and bourbon. frosted flakes and bacon and toast

with eyes closed, it's closer. meditation, she wrote



Door in the wall / RIFT.


terra incognita. capricorn, aquarius and libra

objects free of consequence or parody or Visa

great mother, Gaia, teacher. stripping Mary and Theresa

all hail, Queens of stone aegis - Elizabeth, Latifah

let the names come secondary and experience prime

impression sans empirical mindset, Being Dasein

we all know appearances lie. so here is the time

to compromise all paradigms and make it alive

like, we learn to write and utilize our language to rhyme

but its nothing more than symbol, indication, and sign

there's no spirit involved. watch the formula fall

bricks are solid insofar as there's a door in the wall

a fork in the road. spoon in the bed. knife in the back

observe, record and publicize, describe it as fact

logs and graphs. toss trash, keep plastic island intact

yet we're all just plastic islands. that's how mindsets adapt

from a primal state to cyberspace to brains in a jar

sub-sarahan safari. trip face til self-awareness dissolves

and it's all the same. fortune, fame, scarab and larva

cactus skin like mandolins to Quinceaneras and salsa

yet it's relative. karma loops as choruses bridge

the pestilent, the dharma-proof, the force to exist -

forgo the foremen, livid as their masonry cracked

you stole our right to apprehend. we're taking it back

it's the information era where the click of a key

makes an expert in the field of any given degree

it's like consolidated knowledge is a prison we need

to feel informed in a world of pre-intelligent beings

mission delete, meta-memory, remember: forget

yourself inside the world. they said our system was set

to feel safe at stage 1 of our synthetical bliss 

i've sacrificed my Glenmorangie for mescaline drips

pop a soma tab and listen to the feelies at 6

the world is brave, not the people. and herein lies the rift ..



submit.


schizoaffective. difficult answers for your simplest question

you can find me like anyone, lost in liquor dementia

pouring Cobras onto graves like it's a fitting remembrance

when it only made them weaker like a biblical reference

does to a verse. wrists shackled but i'm cutting them first

open mic is purgatory and discussion is church

i'm the sum of all totals. symbols, sun and the earth

improv-ing. Chris Walken when he doesn't rehearse

semi-functional - worse, i function fully. the worst

drunk in the car. drunk when i'm home. drunk when i work

flask, ready at hand, latex gloves to a nurse

the reason she decides to keep a gun in her purse. 


too high to discuss whether i'm excited or numb

amaretto arteries and nitrogen lungs

rhyme arithmetic, violinist strum enlightenment once

a single moment is granted and if you miss it you're fucked

kisses and hugs are symbols of trust. but yo, these women are nuts

fiending ducats heavy. victims of a system corrupt

Bishop to rook, checkmate. endgame: turn your kingdom to dust

GQ certified. the juice is in the fridge, open up

ill show your sister love. dope dick to give her a buzz

filet your jugular and throw you into vinegar tubs


Mandala.


I've been waiting here. anxiously. pacing the floors

boards creak beneath the weight of remorse

i was dying as a baby was born, stillborn. maybe it's fate

save or abort, shaken awake for an oasis to snort

make me yours. angel and whore. sometimes pain is escape

we waited til november just to skate in the lake

save your face, turn your cheek, let the hatred absorb

mayflowers, vase of porcelain, a slave to amor

degeneration, reform. i'm bare. naive as a boy

mandala your eternity. create to destroy

for every void there's a tape cassette to mirror the space

lick the rearview to taste it. our appearance is fake

scrape your plate. don't even hesitate. don't save me a crumb

i'll drown one day in cola and Canadian Club

cause it never leaves. i've never gotten wasted enough

no blanket or buzz could replicate the safety of love

i guess lying all the time gave me a lesson in trust

eat your heart out to watch as your appendages rust

feels like i've slept on every train. every bench, every bus

still you left me in the dust. my last possession was us

brilliant women thought i loved them. i intended to fuck

and crawl right back to you with indiscretion and drugs

it's sick. i'm a bug. you're insecticide, plunge

into your fantasies of theater and grunge. just let me go

an embryo of tissue and a pulsing pursuit

i've been waiting here for years for it to fully recoup

acid in the bandana, kush in the boot

paper piles to file away and bullets to shoot

woman in blue, you've stolen me and auctioned me off

and all i've got to show for it is toxic resolve

esophageal coughs. carcinogens, tar

brown eyes like fireflies behind a twinkling star

it's just who we are. watching paint dry is really an art

patience is a virtue for the cowards at heart

wandering through someone else's house in the dark

its getter harder and harder to tell the hours apart

wash it off. we're only castles made of sand, let it rise

they say each granule has a universe inside -

so how many of us die with every lap of the tides

so when it's time, hold your breath and wave goodbye..



Have another drink. (featuring Dan)


cold blankets. i've been waking up at 2:55

air conditioner wheezing. TV's illuminant lies

flicker like lantern lights.

spaghetti westerns, noodles aside 

dying to convince myself there's beauty in rhyme.

we've resigned -

no, retired .. to our cubical lives

sacrificing toes in hopes the Dude will abide

it's an unusual ride. take a second to see

electromagnet mechanisms measuring dreams

metronome precise like water pressured to steam

rainforest scavenger. hammock ropes, deciduous trees

half-intellectual scenester, full-on mecha machine

asleep in the armory like autistic marines

humankind is perfect. it's impeccable being

as is all. 

life is simple. take your lemon & squeeze

it takes a while for expression and potential to meet

wait for obstacles to pop. be successful. repeat.

yeah right, Let it be. let it settle, decease

guitar rifts to the rhythm, Vladimir Lennonist speech

i knew reality was destined to crease

when acceptance switched places with sense of belief

liberate through literary sketches in sheets

as charcoal pencil shavings ventilate a pensive retreat

thrown away possessions that were better to keep

trust me,

learning is an option. but it's better to teach.

air conditioner wheezing. TV's wretched deceit

cold blankets send a shiver 

ice cream, sensitive teeth.

insomnia presents itself as conscious release

but boils down to another pathological leash

i've been waking up to plot a release

from punctuality. clockwork gospel,

God doesn't preach.


Have another drink. Ok. Have another drink.

And then one more. And then after that, have another drink.

Grab it from the sink, lose it in your lap when you sleep.

Ok. It's only because you can't sleep, the alcohol enchants and disarms,

and promises a deeper sleep, no more phantom alarms,

no more two thirty's. No more sluggish eyes, dancing with charms.

No more closing your eyes and envisioning breaking his arms,

no more vengeance. Or harm. Just the float that you feel.

All your sentences gone, thoughts and emotions repealed,

what was once tentative's strong, felled to black and soaking in real.

Yes, most people will yield to a night of dreams, sober.

But you're so special. So drink, and be alone until you feel older.

Eventually these endless night owl days will add,

and your overt nostalgia will make your coworkers say your sad,

but they can't know the depth. The walk of the slow of step and cautious,

the secret drunk with a mission to drown out his recesses nauseous,

who only wakes solid after he's slept unconscious,

after visions of her, curves lapped in lace,

that you can only access when you're out cold from jack that's straight,

reminiscing on the last moment you could salivate.

So you've got your ticket. A double shot glass and a bottle to empty,

and a lost future so awkward of entry.

And the morning can only wait, relentlessly holding weight,

because Folgers and an office implores. 

The one thing you own is eight hours, drunk, soggy and sore.

And wondering what the fuck your nostalgia is for.



Gravetripper.


samurai soul. self sacrifice who sat in a grove

watched the valleys grow to cityscapes and vanish below

it could be simple. like a ripple in a glass of merlot

a flash of the bulb, grainy photograph, thumbtacked to a post

let me relax. pass me a bowl. inhale. catch me a cold

keep our conversations light. mindset blackness. the crow 

flamethrow the industry. incinerate her majesty's throne

embers ashy like your knuckles when you wrinkle your nose

have a toast. when we celebrate it's laughter and jokes

then it's reminiscing. buried issues. acid we dosed

alleyway and misdemeanors. phantoms and ghosts

we've never crossed the cliffside. but we have to be close

take notes. abstract smoke until we've graveled our throats

live in squalor but we dream inside a palace of gold

i've decided to go. summarize the visit, tell me goodbye

fare thee well synthesized. doors that slam in the night

desert sand and pentagrams and mescaline highs

not another vice is so self-centered as pride

don't let me down, just let me die. every sentence is fine

tuned like blues musicians in a century's time

exhibitionistic emperor who's dressed to resign

the Peoples Temple accepted me then left me behind 

death in your eyes. becoming beautiful is only a slice

away from bathtub runways and celebrity life.

open you twice, steel wool stitch design recapture your light

before the black is permanent instead of alright.

gnats and mice. pork and rice, pad thai dinner arrangements

kissed her grave just to think about how bitter it tasted

that sinking sensation, all too familiar, let it dissolve

alka seltzer. aspirin regiments and medicine balls 

telephone calls collect like a fortunate lick

i've been victimized by imitation more than a bit

his lordship. mighty morpheme power laser equipped

horseback ranger with an arrow pointed straight at your neck

leave me exempt. forget your hall of fame and respect

probably rated best. i haven't bothered to check

molten lava. magma melodies that melted the wax

whether crystalized or fluid our intelligence stats

candles and chrysanthemum, that sensory snap

crackling like cherrywood. that's Frank with an axe

make me detach. watch it petrify and fade into blue

i'm only strange serendipity like you..


DELIRIUM


stop

underneath the fridge, watch delirium leak

bare to the teeth. read carefully: it's heroin chic

americana, black piranha, mantra monster lagoon

i'm sinking slowly cause its hurts to refuse. purchasing truth

in sandwich baggies. laugh sadly. boxed lunches for 2

throwing bricks in lieu of anything constructive to do

poetic waste of a mood. broadband beatnik, sensitive muse

it's expertise. not exercise like english assumed

triple six-pack abuser. chronic alcoholic approved

she was a lover of many, friend and daughter of few

rosebud modeling moves, cheekbones blossoming blooms

breathing white november winds. dark skin softer than june

i'm a junky in a suit. space-age saucer recluse

nose-deep in ketamine and metropolitan news

aggressive conquerer. benign tumor, pre-operative room

postdoctorate, your honor with tautological blues

modus operandi, let the drama resume

i've got nothing left to lose. only coffins to use

and i've realized, it's constant. it's a pang, it's an island

umbrellas for the pain. it's the rain, it's dysthymic

cellophane bag supplier. see-thru, sinful as priests

system delete. my room is filthy, but my whiskey is neat

distant and deep. mysterious freak, closing the door

born to drink and reproduce and love and divorce

i'm not accustomed to more so what else more could be said

heart of stone, lungs of coal below a porcelain head

social resentment like schizoaffective distress

toulouse-lautrec the resurrect. wet corpse of a sketch

metamorphic descendant of some glorious presence

gorged out in western cinema what nordics invented

rhyme contortionist message code allegorical sentence

fuck categorical spectrums. the only one important is preference

endorsement at checkers. sizzled beef and chocolatey shakes

Chicagoan with property in Hoffmann Estates

if addiction is religion then i'm awfully late

i've died with needles hanging from my arms at the stake

let's all band together for camaraderie's sake

build ourselves a bridge, jump and drown in the lake

greet love, but welcome hate - let them mingle and meet

turn off that fucking television and read

go



MOROSE.


I separate myself from those who love me the most

to summon a ghost. not content until there's something to smoke

burn butter and toast, burn bridges, burn blunts to a roach

illustrate illustrious notes. luxury stuffed into coach

knowing feedback is crucial to adjustment in prose

while you spit on every work review your customers wrote

puncture your hopes. penetrate her pussy or heart

when neither one was good from the start, pulling your card

maybe not. but if i wanted to it wouldn't be hard

mornings seem like frozen cartridges that wouldn't restart

unplug the remote, dust in my throat, a sick individual

performing Indian rituals, like fuck who's the GOAT

Elmer Fudd, shotgun barrel rolling hunting Godot 

waited for 20 centuries with nothing to show.

fortune without fulfillment - a paradoxical joke

like when lyrics aren't shit but the production is dope.

same verses recollected now to constantly quote

phantom genesis, the monster in a comfortable coat

parade around the avenue like colorful floats

eat vagina like i've got some kinda luncheon to host

destruction is growth. money is evil, present is post

everything, is everything. a relative scope

determines a lot. words in a knot, twisted the rope

bloody wrists are appetizers for your dinner. morose

broken cliffhangers. semi-fictional posts

fucking up the system like Episcopal popes

living atrociously, liquor and coke, fixes to dose

sacrificial in it's essence like indigenous folk.



set you free.


abomination. tonsil tasting. coffee beans, pixie sticks

grammar nazi, apple motley. tommy lee and nikki sixx

digital antichrist, the analogue poltergeist

quoted cause he wrote it in a notebook, twice

prayer, love, independence. coke, sprite, ocean beds and open mic

hammer dance in polka dots. polka music, poker night

so precise, throw your dice. buy another overpriced

orgasm on the rocks. lemon slice. you're cold as ice

don't be nice, just sacrifice. hard smile like paper sand

fold your hand. find a hobby, origami, wave a flag

take a stance. defend it with your life, make a statement

label yourself by occupation and die

i've been waiting to try. persian tiger dose the mainline

walked cliffside if only to commit suicide

that phrase, how it tastes. ink and acid and twine

vines and acupuncture. veins, vinyls, tape. CD drives

made us alive. frankenstein was rhythm and rhyme

winter and pine, lines like christmastime. i'll fix you goodbye

and pulse the bassline like a junky for speed

it was time, let it pass. reveal a functional being

so if you end up meaning nothing to me

i'll break your chains, blackbird. set you free

if you take a dive, make it mine. let me believe

you were born and one day forgot to breathe.



Genesis Blue.



primordial depth where lava lamps are nature derived

molten magma. subterranean, the crater's alive

swordfish dual at 7 sharp. that's 20 paces a side

win or lose, the centrifuge replies. creating a tide

waterworld. water colors washing watery portraits

water molecules, water wings and water resorts

there were giants, mighty giants. mythological forces

built the water temple navi explored. but not anymore 

it waned the day my father died. lord of the sea

sultan of stream, warship emperor, controlling regimes

urchins and cuttlefish. green leaflets, algae and moss

pre-prototypical. drafting Machiavellian laws

iron fist, coral amethyst. a palace of gold

my dad. the Elemental One who swam in the cove

spanning globally, a balance, oceanic repose

air in the bubble, fire in the belly, land in a row

shallow and cold. waves overlapping. peak to plateau

watched him decompose like glaciers into sparkling snow

a giant, mighty giant. only one of his kind

i was a blip, but a set of scales, floating awry

it was time. a prophesy filled. duty, honor and will

a kingdom fallen. merging with his counterpartners to build

dark and still. pitch as night. seems their job was complete

and to think, they did it all within the span of a week -

pharaoh Aqua. Akhbar waterway, my lineage pure

a set of sacrifices leading to your sense of assurance

developmental evolution. live bacterial worms

intermediate earth - tree trunks, amoeba and germs

4 twin brothers who always worked in conjunction

heat, soil and oxygen in surface eruptions

it was complete. they could unify. transcend the beyond

giving way to existential theory centuries on

i remember his expression as he looked at us all

for the very first time. and he sang us a song

his dialect was wavelength and molecular bond

harmonizing hurricanes to make his kingdom dissolve

it was freedom and loss. tragedy. the birth of a star

before he turned to stone, my father took a seed in his palm

raised it past the breaking point from under the sea

so his brothers could see. Life where there was nothing, believe

below a hundred degrees, synergistic alignment

King Triton's monument island, before existence was science

they were giants, mighty giants. the creators, the myth

architects and artists. palm trees, temperature shifts

for all their kids. we swim along and savor today

waiting patiently until it's washed away.



MOVE.

alas


melancholia. i dragged you for weeks

watched you splinter into avalanches. alleys and streets

kept faith. hence, we never built a path for retreat

damned or deceased, it all falls down. parabola peaks

dosed you with barbiturates, acid and leak

popped, like aspirin tabs. you took a nap on your feet

awoke in heat, starving for rhythm - voltage or charge

smoking cigars. eating glass out of linoleum jars

i'm the stoop-kid, afraid. throwing stones in the yard

or a socialite, with money folds like holding your cards

pokerfaced like Romans at war. trojan the horse

mad conductor. tropic thunder in electrical storms

pushing you forward, moi cheri amour / enemy, sworn

you're Pegasus born. i swear it, you were destined to soar

dead to the world. yet it only makes me treasure you more

so i talked you off the rope while you wrestled disorders

behind the steering wheel on a mescaline binge

telling me you're gonna die unless i tell you to live.

it reminds me of when we were kids. playing Nancy and Sid

inking up our bodies so the past can exist

grasping for grip. all i want is for a movement, a twitch

but i can't move you an inch. life's a beauty, passion's a bitch

expectations, ambition. it stifles lateral vision

relations simmer. making love in a financial position

stagnant, monochromatic. fuck, i've had it, we're finished

but i keep coming back for seconds after a guinness

you shine. you killed icarus. put plants into synthesis

but you gave into the standard constituents. frozen remains

rotting away, cedar soaked in propane, oaken your frame

angel wings, ball and chain contingent. born as a slave

nobody's to blame. let it be neutral, balance the pressure

nobody but the other knows we're fastened together

exams and semesters, december and spring, ashes and ember

happy, depressive, held me down no matter, whatever

used you up for all this time. it couldn't be wrong

but even once the chain snaps, i'll push you along

inspiration gone. dust in the wind, kush in the bong

let your soul wander outwards from that wooden facade

savor the light. help me create a landmark. save me tonight

let me move a single reader with these phrases i use

to savor tonight. flame the tobacco, save me a light

until i find the strength to fight for motivation to move.



Why can I sleep no more?


don't accuse me. 


these walls are fluctuating at night

morning-time they wheeze through respirators for life

deerskin shaved for a kite. windswept meadowy lawn

rearranging basic structure into legible song

demonstrable horror. the last house on the left

finger pluck a vital artery straight out of your chest

break glaciers into angel food. a powdery mess

arrive outside the Grammys in an hour or less

sour or pensive. if you give a mouse an infection

he'll want penicillin with it. don't know what you expected.

we've accomplished retention - ibuprofen, lozenges, breath mints

you hear it echo, in your hallway, for a second. then it vanishes

way beyond your vanity fair, behind the cabinets

banging on the walls to beg for sacrilege. imagine this,

plastic covered canisters. dampened wicks for ammunition

ruby panther amulet. a dying family's last tradition

creaking boards, apparitions. sarsaparilla, bad decisions

crack addiction, television. jacking off to Maggie Simpson

hold your tongue. it's bad for business, keep to yourself

the people you relate to are the people that melt

skin pops like Stouffer's tops. it's radiation that sells

it grows difficult to feel beneath these measles and welts

lead me to Hell. be my guardian. my conduit often

dull my blade post haste. close shave. Wallace and Gromit

distonic, dystopian problem-child roped into promises

living just to voice an opinion i'll later contradict

sometimes it's the opposite and humans are right

you can catch me at the hospital for soup and a sprite

putting Lucy in the skylight suite for 60 a night

daydreaming into darkness to resist the enticement

of recidivistic reprise, i've experienced a minute's escape 

caterpillars of strength. i crawled away. the clinic can wait

licking to taste. devoid of any physical traits

still i miss you like a saturday at Michigan Lake

am i liquid or lace? craving a resentful embrace

i've built a mask so fucking intricate it mimics a face



For Alyssa


i remember you well. you're a headrush, a high

oily blonde, skin dry, bleach white. dusk in July

we met between classrooms, disenchanted goodbyes

and degenerate friends with whom we identified

you triple layered mascara. Madam Raccoon in disguise

i would tease you, only wishing to look into your eyes

blue as the sky. translucent, dilated, foolish, misguided

your green thumb. roses bloody red. mushrooms psilocybin 

love without a name for it. 16 with a license 

we'd park the car just to kiss and smoke in comfortable silence.

perfume violet. sweet like stevia. compassionate victim

of your scent. a memoir slave to my olfactory system

you made decisions. i listened. we bonded over addiction

choking out sentences. breathing boa constricted

when smoking sections existed. before camels were blue

empty parking lots and alleys after classes were through

candlelight between us. bread and water and time

your stare was Gemini. i don't remember your sign

but i remember you well. scarred, resentful and wise

often resigned. so much to hide. your smile would kill me inside

but i obliged. an ex-boyfriend who committed suicide

was the root of all your pain. the catalyst for you and I

you would cry. flick your lighter. whisper under your breath

shoot yourself with opioids and razor your flesh

run into the bathroom. i would ask for the check

come back. adjust your bandages. as numb as it gets

before money or debt. landlords, mortgage and rent

corpses and death were a condition of your company kept

you read Kerouac at 12. Richard Brautigan next

Vonnegut texts at home. a Honda full of Chomsky cassettes

bourgeois intellectual. Kafka, coffee and toast

ballet class at 7 is when she started to smoke, she says

her confidence rose - no appetite, so light on her toes

quit at 9 until she found a body. naked and cold

with a note on the sink. lined paper, sharpie in bold

bathwater rosy red like the garden she grows.

you told me once, it's ritual. there's prayer in the smoke

i'm with you always. waiting while you're chasing a ghost


i remember you so well. O, morose valentine

i want to thank you. thank you, cause you tried

i can't forget you. i'm sorry. god, i hope you're alive

even though i couldn't let you let me die.



Sacrifice


hey


welcome back, familiar face. the most unlikely of places

coincidence, fate, event without a justification.

a cursory angst of recollection bent into shape

as civilizations strive to imitate the pictures we've taken

to cherish a day, like cherubs in May. do you remember the times?

lakeshore, 1800, cherry pepsi and lime 

riding slow, Eldorado. dashboard maple and pine

now its just another shallow introspection of mine..

Obedience: a deity commanding the tides 

while scapegoating the rest of us who haven't decided

what to label our crises. our gradual sedation, serene

smile wide. watch our reminiscence fade into screams

drunken under traffic lights on harlem & lake

its been a while, friend. light cigars and embrace

same shake as 7th grade. that's where tradition is shaped

the daily grind is God. horror hidden as faith

in a rat race, a pit of snakes. nativity's rape,

where citizens arrest for reputations at stake

it's like society's a tribal chieftain feathering doves

where compassion and respect are only measured in blood

capillary Capulet, heartache. typical love. 

live for now, you're thrown to the wolves. left for the bugs

i left with a shrug, in silence let my cellular buzz

dug a hole large enough for our remembrance to plunge

you've visited once. no, the others haven't been by.

pull up a chair. my, how temporality flies 

like family ties. cleaned the closet. now skeletons in my conscience

make MRI results look like excavating a coffin

we were princes and paupers. freelance adventurers often

agitators and defenders both, see: Simpson and Cochran 

best friends. all of us. all explorers and rogues

i quit the games. suited up and grew distorted in soul

emotive sorcerers' stone. at times, repression tortures me slow

until unconsciousness is mortal repose, corpses and bone

ghostly remorse. dead or divorced, whether chevy or Porsche

it matters little now. but adolescence is warped

our friendship is brotherhood from an irrelative source

nobody cares anymore. i'll keep my sentences short

retrospection is pure. 20/20 hindsight the visual

whether Deified, literal, or symbolic instead

we grow, prioritize, and sacrifice as a ritual

then recollect a burial for bodies to rest.


i cannot apologize for being.

stay a while, friend

let us speak of resurrection.



Star child.


explosions in the cemetery rock me to sleep

halloween ghost costumes out of hospital sheets

enraptured by the gospel you preach

with Bacardi on your breath, watch my tolerance weaken

how do we proceed? we built a monument close

to Arpeggio notes. you whispered as the melody rose

told me all of your secrets .. all of your needs

like planting scarlet begonias in a garden of weeds

heartless the sleeve. darts at the bar, circus bizarre

we are all star children that have learned to revolve

full throttle revolver. six-shot Yosemite sharp

the only single animal let into the Arc

china doll. eyes an inky black. calligraphy mark

we're toxic like exhaust fumes and a sensitive heart

misery martyr speaking for the silenced at 5

developing depressiveness and trying to die

wax crayon outsider. the line for lunch was immense

so i sat and clenched my stomach instead. psyche under arrest

the best times of my life were in a park on the bench

before i knew that disrepair was art in the flesh

decomposition is the closest that we'll ever become

to someone's daughters and sons. emperors, slaves

living breathing organisms, rotting away

obligations to fade out and an option to stay

barefoot, burning walking out of a grave

red cabernet the color of a bloody filet

lobster and steak. my method's growing harder to read

feeling lucid. Jesus Christ inside a carpenter's dream

harbored between calm and serene. carbon and gene

questioning myself. ripped apart at the seams

wintertime your entrances and autumn your leaves

you manipulate like medias and marketing teams

by nature elusive. evaded diffusion, nose to the floor

hurt me soul. punish me for showing remorse

poke at a swarm of killer hornets. that's emotion en forme

we're not supposed to be born. that's why it's so unimportant

i've danced in the storm. mud and water and air

i think the grass would look greener if i cared.


On Justice


i want to fly


like pigeon or dove. god's wisdom and love

prism and sun, symbols for something that we've never become

benevolent One. searching for a method to rise

repressing the drive instead to let it fester inside

since that first step, i've over-intellectualized

myself into a quasi philosophical bind - 

if dreams are deja vu in a pretentious disguise

i've had a premonition. wings caressing the skies

finger feathering Gaia. slow jam climaxing a quake

orgasm. the twitch. chasmic eclipse. a planet of apes

self-hating mammal on a molecular basis

restricted from destiny via skeletal shape

uncomfortable state. close to claustrophobia's knife

overdosing on tryptophan and daydreaming a life

it's like - daily the optimism, nightly the crisis

a shallow hearted falcon with a piloting license

adrenaline for the nightshift. a pint for the train

balloons to hold tightly when they're tied to a flame

dreams, our sole possessions. nothing earned or obtained

mysticism's for the birds, as they say..

but nothing that can justify or truly explain

exists inside a box of preconceptions arranged

bums collect change while doctors lecture in chains

prisoners of other's observations and statements

lives wasted. i will fly. i mean.. i've felt it, so visceral

like three dimensional cinema. widescreen sensory visual

push the envelope. make it real. you're labeled a criminal

possibility is free. laws are belted to principle

it's so simple post-ripple. passing temporal waves

create textbook pages, history makes emperors famous.

academic persuasion mirrors theological strategy

sodomizing free spirited to posit insanity

i will rise, above catastrophe. omniscience of faculty

their critical analyses. the law that is gravity -

i will rise. experiencing that moment of ecstasy 

a stolen encounter with our inherent telepathy

one day, we all die and set it free .. winged beast,

defying all belief in science, every time i fall asleep.



Eat or Die.


Ren and Aki, identical. born 7 seconds apart

rice paddy marsh village near Tiananmen park

poor and humble. born to struggle through a destiny darkened

breathing symbols of the coldness in an emperor's heart

Ren would carve rocks until their edges were sharp

write his world into cherrywood to leave it a mark

while Aki carved those rocks into a usable blade

threatening his classmates when excluded from games

two in the same. you know how the rest of it goes

twin genetics exposed, ye olde environmentalist woes

young adults working hard to set a table for 4

but approached their objectives in a dissimilar form

Ren would swim in the lake and wrangle dinner for days

Aki walked. saved his spearheads for a fisherman's face

both resistant to change. they would argue and scream

but their folks remaining fed is where they always agreed.

achieved the same ends, through a separate device:

Ren was married at 20. Aki slept with his wife

there was love, there was deviance, a pulsing disdain

Ren grew tired of playing Jiminy and pulling a chain

took his brother on a pilgrimage to gather some grain

past the fields, past the forests, unfamiliar terrain

Aki stopped. asked Ren where they were headed and why

he'd promised Ma and Pa to have their dinner at 5

Aki's face soon twisted into fear and surprise

his little brother - dagger in hand and tears in his eyes

whispered something quiet. something shameful and sad, then

Ren became an only child with a wave of the hand.


dinnertime at Ren's - tonight's trout and filet

many moons after Aki slipped and drowned in the lake

there was a knock on the door. Pa answered. he swooned,

cooling flesh now at the feet of an assassin in blue

dark eyes behind a mask. wiped the blood from his boot

held his knife to Ma. said to Ren, reward or rebuke

Ren pleaded, take it all. argued reason and logic

said he didn't need to do this. told him he was beyond it

what progress he made didn't matter at all

the second Ma's spinal fluid splattered his wall..


gentle childen. strong providers, innocent souls

pressured into murder as the dissonance grows

sacrificed for peace of mind. discovered remorse

poetic justice lives inside the edge of a sword

so with his dying breath, 

Ren said goodbye and welcomed his fate

while the killer unmasked -

sat down, and fixed him a plate.


Discourse and Conjunction.


contour a recollection. trace a border between

war and serene. river gorges and streams, endorphins and dreams

let the world disagree once their madness corrupts

speakers amplified to tell us we're not happy enough

advertisement, adversarial, i've cancelled the plug

ate a box of nails for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch

addicted to the disarray. my habit is dust

mouth breathing heavy after sweeping it up

media frequency jump impermanent like passionate lust

his thoughts darkening. moving towards the back of the bus

vampire sluts and servitude. the power is near

the hour is nigh, our Auschwitz appears as towers and tiers

suits and a tie, cowards in line to order a beer

Orwellian the telephones. unimportant careers

louder than clear, static megaphones in velvet apartments

metal in your cerebellum, lead in your carcass

deadman, enters to harness your repression and darkness

write your pain, let it resonate, then measure respondents 

veritas plus barry bonds plus whatchamacallit

bat shit crazy. strangely there's this sudden catharsis

i've felt for the beach. fields and open spaces sunny and blue

but romanticizing nature doesn't cut it for you

sat by and smoked her cyanide. huffing her glue

then hummed myself a tune til our discussion was through

saw her clearest on a stormy night. the 2nd of June

a thunderbolt's growl behind affectioning croons

scratched a scab open. sang the leprosy blues

colliding in your Camry. our vehicular muse. 

midnight mascara and rouge. cocaine whiskey and wine

salt and pepper - cloth and leather - lemon and lime

ambient shine. pupils dilate. now it's Ambien time 

beg your pardon please.. this disconnect's a habit of mine

pictures phrases quotes and concepts twisted to bend

into visions you read. concrete consistency like liquid cement

no dimes and nickels to spend, it's rhymes and rhythms instead

the devil was a capricorn and Winter is death.



_________________________________________________________________________

2013

____________________________________________________________________________________



Cortisol blues.


it's a quarter to soon

she'll be here at now to torture me blue. orange and maroon, 

oozing warmer than strudel in a porcelain spoon

be immortal as you. imagine dragons, oracles too

as the forest resumed, forage for food, with night vision

but drew a Blanc like cork & a screw. black/white zinfandel

Marine machine. the Infidel, the Corps is a suit

like aces high when rivers die to quench a fortunate few

write, regurgitate these words. iAm Lord of the puke

help her gag reflex, relax like a gorgeous masseuse 

meta-morphine abuse, pain damager, Kevorkian knew

that death is love. theory's incomplete before execution

it's more than the truth. fuck i'm ignorant, ignore me, rebuke

it's these narcissistic tendencies that force me to use

metaphors or a slew of linear coordinate cues

to reorient the normative views, rhyme orbital loops

around disorder to prove there's nothing formula-proof

corporate pursuits, money ordering troops. private exchanges

illuminate the Serpent's eyes like diamond engagements

silver knuckles certified, Michael tyson in paper print

ideas ancient as Iliad. Iller than all your top 5 Homer-sapiens

Divine Anglican, angel wings are depictions of vultures

feeding on the corpse of our derivative culture

Ultra-violation, cyberspace invented to hibernate

how can we connect if our intention's to isolate?

it's how we operate. adaptive psychophysical ratios

reacting to that shit on the radio. shifting endlessly,

it only takes a moment of anger to distance empathy

or a bullet wound to confiscate a lick of integrity. 

in this second, i'm happier than i'll ever be, intentionally

but only because nobody will remember me .. i'm sorry

thankful for the memories. the endorphins accrued

but i'm stuck inside the cortisol blues, torturing you

cause it's a quarter to soon.

the time is NOW, make your amends -

chain yourself to almost, stop, and wait for the then.



Anticipation.


i guess


it's sad for itself. a silhouette that sat on the shelf

unaware of how abandonment felt. home is a thought

of overindulgence. note to mirage - you're bad for my health

what can you do but wait in silence for the capsule to melt

my brother heard a voice, screaming. asking for help

now that he's gone it seems i've picked up on the habit as well

so pick me up a twenty-bag or drag me to hell

from an era where the thrill is gone and abstinence sells

it gets harder to tell whether monogamy counts

when there's passion in the battlefield but not at the house

olive her skin, tonic her svedka, cotton her blouse

communicating undercover like reconnaissance scouts

put my keys on the table. put that shot in her mouth

she opens up like caves of wonder Ali Ababwa recounts

it only got quieter once we started to shout

called an audible and walked. the only option was out

couch surfing for a theta wave to throw me a sign

from an era where GD stands for growth & decline

my city is a battlefield for soldiers to die

i've seen their moms' smile when those diplomas arrived

how their brows twisted tearful when they lowered the box

speaking reassurance with my stomach in knots

pandora holds a piece of mind i've opened a lot

jotting thoughts even though my demons told me to stop

optimism, realism, theologists agree

that no matter what, it's all okay. it's only a dream

i left a note on the fridge that should be reason enough

to let this hate become a seasonal drug, read it and shrug

read it or weep. follow the sheep, i am leader of goats

making hall of fame worthy look like decent at most

focus and you'll understand. believe it or don't

there is no good - only absence of the evil in folks

breathe into your center. let the chemicals float

soak inside the hologram and breathe into smoke

people are so terrified. it's really a joke

remember. no, anticipate. amnesia, she wrote


Cliffside.


pretty sure that i love you. but i know that it hurts

rose out of concrete, rougher than diamonds, gold in the dirt

over subway grates, windswept, the flow of your skirt

had me rotary, circular, stuck. rolling inert

nobody's first. i guess nobody wins, nobody's wrong

you'll never even know that i wrote you a song

fuck. i've written you dozens

notepad of assonances filled with assumptions

over analytic discussion, droning, like an idiot. substance

dependent, sinister soul. shadow puppeteering cryptic baroque

paper pioneering the boat. Aaliyah kissing me slow

mellow synthesis, prose is prozac. but my symptoms are few

are far between like full eclipses at noon

scented perfume. it all seems so egocentric, it's true

but i promise, evermore, raven, this is for you.

give me youth. it's the finer things i'm saving to buy

that have me feeling paranoid & hateful inside

be that close to the ledge. let your sentiments fly

cliffside is where your earnest femininity shines

all wax poetic aside. take that step. leftist or right

winged warrior, airborne like breathable lies

goretex and maker's mark. the seasonal grind

the TV says it's freezing. let the people decide

balancing romantic with a need to survive

thought you wanted a bond. you had a needle in mind

puzzled like broken china, force the pieces to fit

bat an eyelash and i'll lease you a whip.

jesus, it's sick

adulthood's a trip. i remember being seven and six

envisioning shit, suicide before i'd ever been kissed

reoccurrence persisted. viva la venereal cysts

your lips burn like kerosene, we melt. candlesticks

in the fireplace, ashes, bloody ashes we fade

another Encyclopedia Dramatica page

jottings cinquains on parchment and graves, walking away

long past my parliament phase. black tar coughing decay

i wanted to stay. truly, i did. i wasn't confused

just afraid to take a leap. i couldn't stomach the view

i love you more than life. that was always the truth

but it was either live in solitude, or suffer with you..


i'd rather burn than choke.



Insomniatic, she wrote


murder


cigarette electric. diminutive, my intro: introspection

salutations Mr. Black. meet Mrs. Misconception

this is a test. it's been an honor. time to go, goodbye

tie a rope. you're Robert Paulson. fight until you die

hyper focused, isotopic, rhyme consultant, why

do i spark with twice the voltage only trying half the time

watching others follow til it almost seem cliche

to write away your pain. hey, farewell, auf wiedersehen

honey's home. i waited, shrinking children in my comfort zone

rushing home from social events to catch a buzz alone

nothing new, but nothing old. lunchables and tea for 2

after all, it's me and you. cafe cups and vehicles

landing where the eagle flew. bask in my ineptitude

asking for recluse while i imagine standing next to you

breakfast food is symbolistic of a happier place

pancakes and bacon. nostalgia is my dragon to chase

pencil graphite arrangement. rubber pads to erase

passive mistakes. sweaty palmprints masking your face

make me your fate. it's already late, i'm already close

to falling from grace. make it okay, make me your ghost

i'll follow your notes. melody plays, harmony floats

we are one. beyond bipartisan votes. carbon and codes

artist's remorse. garbage or gold? scrap it or post

i am jack's dual lives. insomniatic, she wrote



A means to an end.


hey



brown eyes like sunrise in a nuclear sky

you taught cupid to fly. morning doves and roosters alike

beautiful sight: curvaceous movements under fuselage light

at a dinner, drink and movie ticket's usual price

loosen my tie, cuban delight - addictive as peruvian white

mid-life epiphanies that we're confusing for fights

crisis mode activated - let our memories flood

til those REDRUM scrawls are letters of love, measured in blood

crystal glaciers melt like teardrops in effeminate thugs

the hanging gardens burned. Nebuchadnezzar was hung

from the poppy trees we sing about with Western repose

you screamed, then hung the phone up. so i left you alone

wrong time, wrong decision. set in my ways

Midol by the bucketful. you're menstrual for days

medicine and yoga pants and visits to graves

not boredom. not remorse. not affection, per se

our love's a spectrum of gray. convalescent, depraved

people always ask me when we're getting engaged.

pressure to stay. pleasure and pain, you're wetter than rain

red velvet sheets. Marlboros as we walk to the train

sometime talk about our feelings. often refrain

cause your therapist gets paid to listen. dollars and change

pacifism, veiny wrists, provocative blades

black coffee on a snowy evening. simple and plain

be my queen, be my limousine - a means to an end

odd how one creates reality. yet people pretend

to be completely content. don't pay me a check

i want happiness and God. but i can't handle it yet..


- yours


Nirvonnegut.


dear diary:


i'm pathologically scarred. mommy issues and a father afar

stop to recall, deep thought between each shot at the bar

composite bizarre - Kurt Nirvonnegut, pause - Mr. misanthropic noir

zombie apocalypse pawn turned neurotic topical star

i've accomplished it all. top of the charts. Raekwon with a dart

when i'm not even focused i'm an unconscious assault

slug swallowing salt, bionic results. Dr. Ockward at heart

spin revolver cylinders as symbiotical parts

Martin Scorsese the sequence. rearrangement, deletion

change as the seasons do. someone gave me a secret

paid me to keep it. I held it in like passive aggressiveness

let it fuel like Acura engines. so erratic the sentences

master malevolent. gas-can to capitol entrances

cancer isn't killing us. it's taxes and prejudice

animal mechanism, alpha-wolfhound, eyes of a dragon

gray steel like metal jackets on a silent assassin

try to imagine - close friends and Vicodin. so it goes

lie in a mattress. close your eyes. die of an overdose

overcoats and services, slow mourning to cry

we're all kids in business casual. see: lord of the flies

cotton-picking porn and chicken, bored into rhyme

endorphins arise like Borgore after snorting a line

aMorpheus prime example of distortion refined

into gorgeous design. rolls royce and porsches to drive

swordsman, the Sai bandit, hanging corpses to dry

like ornaments high on pine monuments, all orphans aside

organisms orbiting sky. procreating, alive

prayer is simple. atheism aims to make you decide

savior divine. grapes for the wine, dinner table at five

bagels are fine - the real question here is: raisin or rye?



Ropes.

CHECK


half moronic, magna karma, student of change

only blackbird who spread his wings and flew to the cage

stupid, forsaken, youths in a basement, practicing bondage

bleeding ropes for every goal we haven't accomplished

do we have to be honest? i'd rather shatter a promise

abandon my apartment. head back to the cottage,

passive. subtle nuances like genetical code

bloodline syndromic, telegraphing punches to throw

semi-morose, fully corrosive settled in smoke

filter larynx through a gravel pit. Inspectah Verbose

chemical dosage, mescaline Motrin. plastic and paper

addicts are saviors, viewed as lepers now cause habit is nature

indulgence is nature, food is a drug. who's pulling the plug?

everybody plays the fool .. if they're foolish enough

translucent, Zab Judah when shadowboxing your fate

napping lucid awake. camouflage and oxygen tanks

democracy, pick-pocketing, apocryphal, fake

now apologize again, just for apologies' sake

nodding away those labor pains on leather recliners

my homie used to put the wet to a lighter, setting the fire

never higher. February paints a painful maroon

Thorazine blues settled in. you wouldn't make it to June

crescent moon, powder boom, kegstand naked at noon

life's a black dinner spoon - insufflate it or lose

hatred is useless, drop the mask, face your confusion

pick the pieces up and make it your movement.



MATE

Genesis Gray.


i come home to withdraw. sober, smoking cigars

i'm not alone. just feeling lonely is all. coping is hard

so far from where i'm headed to, so hopefully lost

on the road to exhaustion. pea coats, promotions and jobs

so hand me the trophy. master like Roshi, floating beyond

illuminate, my new estate is glow-in-the-dark

human beings are carbon correlates, emotional beasts

this is the only way i know to release, since the opiates ceased

lately i've been limiting my social retreats

cause my friends are growing stranger as the moments increase

between times that were and are. 

bar tabs, stoned at the beach

lighting up a cigarette. feeling closer to peace

now than i've ever been - the picture of contentment at first

now i'm drinking everyday before i head into work

cancer in my family, we're genetically cursed

so this toxicity is only doing destiny's work

let it be known, let it be holy, let it be heard

a legend was born. now every other legend disturbed

a legacy in theory is a legacy earned

there's nothing to teach and even less to be learned

symmetrical, serum ventricle, dimensional curves

objectivity is preference preferred. stencil these words

forever reversed, scripted lifestyle, existential, rehearsed

objectivity's collectively subjective at worst.

Copy thinks i only write to be depressive and hurt

but i write because expression's a dependable urge

left-brain neural energy surge. electrical chains

murder is our midnight sport. athletics have changed

native Seminole genocide. drain their genesis gray

slaughtered in the name of theoretical gains

there will never be a single statement special to say

once the borderline melts between our ethics & faith

the love of my life. i met her nestled away

between a solid rock and infidelity's grave

these motherfuckers love to live incestuous, wait

i hate goodbyes, but love to make an ending mundane



Far from human (feat. Genocide)


dead man..

the final mohican in moccasin shoes

composite i drew a sketch, violet and blue

our planet may plummet as comets accrue

but we'll finally be home, y mi casa es su

political mastermind, mostly moderate views

lived to witness evils that accomplishments do

consistence often construed as an impossible proof

i stand to make corrections with a competent few

iAm Gawdian, flossing as a gaudy excuse

to flash like orange alerts on metropolitan news

knowledge is useless once you're following suit

indoctrinated fully as apostles, aloof

aphoristic, plague-resistant, conquering flu

common cold coughing mucus into concepts to puke

from Wisconsin to Utah, 600 block to the Dunes

only taking lives to find a better coffin to use..


Geno..

Transylvanian apartments are an alternate roost

Lethargic for you, parasite until the carcass consumed 

Harvest the moon, rite before a charlatans doom 

Exhumed, for bathing in a touch of garlic perfume

I've seen the awfullest news, carvings on tombs

The fall of platoons, amused, that they all were subdued

Flying saucers, confused, cautious of truths

Watched them crash into tunnels that were carpal, and bruise

Seen partially prooned, crop circles startle bafoons

That were targets for groups in the market of fruit

Smoke screens nothing short of arsonist proof

Crosses and screws, hung kings sing songs of exhaustion, and puke

From Holocaust for the jews, to dre sampling a parliament tune

Plausible cruelty, what would the carpenter do 

Harken the blues, eyes wide shut while its dark in the room

When all's said and done, we're the farthest from human


Emeritus I (feat. Split 8)


Are you living, breathing, and acceptably conscious?

Please blink in your beady, TV scheduled responses.

We've been tied to our bretheren by 3D ventricle vomit,

but to succeed to our fullest, is to peel off the centripetal clauses

of this tealish and globular vehiclular-comet. I feel it more.

The Lostness. As if my dreams have been sequenced 

in cloth, strummed across helicore- sponge clean cement floors

with the still-running maw of my dungeon-breathed boss-

'Tune into FUBAR 24.7 from sun-up to closure, 

and catch the odd composure of our off-melodic funeral rock,

the slackjaw Top 20 Hit, "Bossanova in Keyboard" by Cubicle Sloths.

They beseech you, crude cross emphatic, that -IMAGINE IS GOD- 

as they spooned you proofs mathematic that the truth of all magic,

lies in inadequate bias towards thematics of science, reason & thought...

before the breach of a contract was unsleeved in Briefcases, by Glock.

I'm not pleading for off-brands. Not steeling my skin

for the singe of the sympathist's sin, not sobbing with God-Hand

as we sped along familiar flaws along Akina's twists.

Saccharine bliss met rhetoric raw in midst of Nazareth fogs,

subliminal Vatican slop. Sorry if my bible refs are token and basic.

I'm slipping this centerfold a seminal code, at request of the matrix-

apologies, Tron. You'll never know the ending nodes won't awaken

again in the Kingdom of Hearts. Confess, I can't bury the CDs,

jay pegs, readings, the vids or the lyrics. 

But I can set them in boxes, and never go near them.

Lived 1000 lives within life, professor emeritus leaving

to find I haven't experienced much.. the American species

would have me believe this bucket of ashes from Kansas

is just dust in the wounds of a madman.

The dreams never change.

I am lost in somebody's forest.

Facial features darkened, the silhouettes were expected,

Wearing no spark of resemblence- recognition regressive.

So his song will evade you, since nostalgia's forsaken you

in an attic-set labryinth that switches every play-through, and listen,

Happiness happens. Misery's the shit that makes y'all revisit.

Time to keep rhyming these steely, eulogical rivets,

Someday you'll find it's you thats gone missing.


someday


someday you'll find a receipt. and wonder

how much time a person buys in his sleep, for under

twenty six dollars and a sigh of relief

just wait. capitalism says you'll die in a week

the thunder bellows. walls separate, enlightenment leaks

cracking spiderwebs like rainforest, islanded beach

sandy seminars, my scholarship - the science of dreams

dissertations due the night you believe. try it and see

iron microchip sequences cyber viruses, freeze

typewriter whiskey and water, lantern lighting, serene

masks off. 

look around. your eyes are likely a leash

another diagram is right underneath. devoid in-between

Saria's Song on saxophone to silence the screams

lighting trees til there's not a drop of blood on the leaves

seems we're all looking older now, as summer recedes

smell the roses. stick your nose inside their fungus & sneeze

wonderland, the wunderkind, please. it's a natural trait

mathematic, abrasive. abacus factory-made

chained myself to the moment. made an elaborate escape

cause i never had anything interesting to say.

satisfaction's like a castle with palladium gates

or a class where every student's either absent or late

Split halves into 8th's, punch timecards, passion can wait

clockwork for bread. spread another crack in his face

Rhode scholars, camouflaged as addicts or saints

cocaine catholicism. pray they'll pass you a plate

valleys and lakes, rivers and tides, you live or you die

shut the fuck up or become the very thing you despise.

we're lost without a clue. but i was simple to find

in the cubicle where Kublai Khan and incubus lie

olympus will rise, like spinal column shifting chemical mind

there's paradise in poppy seeds, wisdom in wine.

if mission is rhyme - sip slow and let our documents shine

envisioning crime to serve justice like optometrist prime

for homogenous tribes in this particular groove,

religion is viewing different shadows on a similar moon

triforce when logic fails to hum a resonant truth

on forest frequencies too ancient to remember their roots..



Non-sequiter the visceral.


sporadic at best. photographic arrest, developing sight

paragraphs parasitic to write. the bible mentions me twice

fooled you once. acoustic rhythm taps molecular life

bearskin percussive set in maple. rawhide, stretching it tight

til instrumental delight is something easily played

green serenade. kudzu vine, whip cracks, leafy meringue 

minimalistic, semi-consistent, clearly deranged

sentence derivative like collective experience, deleted or saved

believing is pain. peace is the raindrops buzzing at noon

until it reminds us that we've got something to do

sunrise dusky as dew. hustler pursuits in a duster, adieu

i'm off to look for substance to use. to fuck or to screw?

taking life for granted like it's custom for you

while i try to cherish every single lunch i consume

lustful and crude, love is abuse. i've cued a diversion

to discover love is simply what you'll do for a person.

music is purpose, beauty to worship, chiseled in stone

all we ever needed was a picture to hold

impressionistic repose. print still-life digital prose

watch it come alive. then kill itself with a rope

it's sacrificial, it's bone, dynamic socially strained

built an empire in my bedroom just to throw it away

microbial waves. throne in his grave, growth and decay

scribble multiples on multiple pages. but only today

i don't mean to be meaningful. just composing in vain

zirconium blades, open my brain to let neurosis escape

floating parades, globalized like xenophobia, AIDS

Alice's hole was her slavery, now she's holding her Chains

smoking flame, opiate-based, glass-blown bowlful of haze

behaviors trace what biometric coding engrains

total disdain for methodology, dogmatic determinists

chaos captured Copernicus. a field of wrathful conservatives

passing for rational persons, nails scratching the surfaces

soon 

there will be blood

better fasten your tourniquets.



Self-centricity, in stages.


IIIIII



I've tried to be happy. tried a coke and a smile

but i can't shake the feeling that my hope is denial

and i'm sorry for changing. that i'm socially wild

but when it's only us i'm more like an emotional child

at a festival surrounded by excitement and sound

lonelier than ever as i followed the crowd

met a stranger by the willow tree. he loaned me a light

we talked, tobacco molten delight. smoke in the night

he too, felt disconnected, but accepted the distance

like, it all gets so old. the drugs, the tension, the bitches

the love, the pressure, the systems

like nothing's better than sickness.

i like to be alone sometimes but friends are persistent

calculating interactions. analytic and strange

inhibited, sane. aware. i miss my primitive brain

if you think, you think too much about the tiniest task

pour your pint in a flask and toast the moment.

if you like your coffee black, wine white in your glass

it's a sign of the times, zeitgeist approaches.

there's a color to music that gives it texture and taste

i've recycled time enough to know it's better to waste

i've devolved into a prototype. repetitive, fake

it was over the second they gave the devil a face.

my demons are dollars. endorsements, checking at Chase

spent on any substance that presents an escape.

i'm evil. stupid. selfish. all those negative traits

but i'm centered. almost perfect. true perfection awaits

passion in these parables, poetic for praise

it's a proper alternative to repressive malaise

it's pain but not exactly cause it's pleasant at times

adrenaline rushes from looking death in her eyes

there's not a sedative high that can compare to success

not a failure that can measure up to marital stress

sometimes what's truly beautiful is fairly depressed

and purity is found inside a terrible mess

prepare for the next. compressing air in your chest

i say whatever comes to mind. but say it in jest

naked, her breasts were Marilyn, yes - Monroe in her prime

I guess Gentleman Prefer a woman loaded with Skyy.

cornucopia, the joker's card that nobody plays

huffing nitrous til we float, like parades. moles in a cage

prayer wasn't enough to wash my clothes in the rain

it didn't save my homie from the coma, he stayed

no destination headed like a road to the Gray

place your coat on a hanger. welcome home, it's been ages

i'm supposed to be famous. Dead men are media martyrs

camera crews to black spoons inside a seedy apartment

spirit departed, what a cliche. shotgun shell in your face

watch me smile. iAm the devil's embrace.



IIIIII


Have another drink. (feat. PancakeBrah)


fuck


cold blankets. i've been waking up at 2:55

air conditioner wheezing. TV's illuminant lies

flicker like lantern lights.

spaghetti westerns, noodles aside 

dying to convince myself there's beauty in rhyme.

we've resigned -

no, retired .. to our cubical lives

sacrificing toes in hopes the Dude will abide

it's an unusual ride. take a second to see

electromagnet mechanisms measuring dreams

metronome precise like water pressured to steam

rainforest scavenger. hammock ropes, deciduous trees

half-intellectual scenester, full-on mecha machine

asleep in the armory like autistic marines

humankind is perfect. it's impeccable being

as is all. 

life is simple. take your lemon & squeeze

it takes a while for expression and potential to meet

wait for obstacles to pop. be successful. repeat.

yeah right, Let it be. let it settle, decease

guitar rifts to the rhythm, Vladimir Lennonist speech

i knew reality was destined to crease

when acceptance switched places with sense of belief

liberate through literary sketches in sheets

as charcoal pencil shavings ventilate a pensive retreat

thrown away possessions that were better to keep

trust me,

learning is an option. but it's better to teach.

air conditioner wheezing. TV's wretched deceit

cold blankets send a shiver 

ice cream, sensitive teeth.

insomnia presents itself as conscious release

but boils down to another pathological leash

i've been waking up to plot a release

from punctuality. clockwork gospel,

God doesn't preach.


Have another drink. Ok. Have another drink.

And then one more. And then after that, have another drink.

Grab it from the sink, lose it in your lap when you sleep.

Ok. It's only because you can't sleep, the alcohol enchants and disarms,

and promises a deeper sleep, no more phantom alarms,

no more two thirty's. No more sluggish eyes, dancing with charms.

No more closing your eyes and envisioning breaking his arms,

no more vengeance. Or harm. Just the float that you feel.

All your sentences gone, thoughts and emotions repealed,

what was once tentative's strong, felled to black and soaking in real.

Yes, most people will yield to a night of dreams, sober.

But you're so special. So drink, and be alone until you feel older.

Eventually these endless night owl days will add,

and your overt nostalgia will make your coworkers say your sad,

but they can't know the depth. The walk of the slow of step and cautious,

the secret drunk with a mission to drown out his recesses nauseous,

who only wakes solid after he's slept unconscious,

after visions of her, curves lapped in lace,

that you can only access when you're out cold from jack that's straight,

reminiscing on the last moment you could salivate.

So you've got your ticket. A double shot glass and a bottle to empty,

and a lost future so awkward of entry.

And the morning can only wait, relentlessly holding weight,

because Folgers and an office implores. 

The one thing you own is eight hours, drunk, soggy and sore.

And wondering what the fuck your nostalgia is for.


you



Determinism, free will, guilty, innocent. (feat Zygote)



DETERMINISM

primary is binary. it's splitting a sequence

matrices, a smorgasbord for digital leeches

there's an unexplained phenomena fulfilling allegiance

between decision and reason. blueprints, simple procedure

let the guilty hang from twisted sheets we stitched in the bleachers

learned from similar teachers, 

little boxes set for shipment in secret

listen to Nietzsche, or your prescription to peaceful

expires in time to hear the verdict. sentenced to death

intention and action exist as separate events

bound as ethical counterparts to present a defense

mortality is dense. sight is a sensitive sense

it's the sinewy flesh of jurisdiction. where intention awaits

penitentiary plates. licenses to kill for escape

but it's a question of control. it's a question of fate

it's a timeframe. designed behind an intellectual state

be pensive, be great. plead puppet when it isn't insane

if you're the product of potential isn't the signal to blame?

we've justified for centuries, the symbols unchanged

placing D'jango in chains. Schindler in cylindrical flames

our only god is Judge. gavels lifted, prisoner slain

yet only God adjusts his gravel pits to filter the rain.

if you're an innocent slave to pre-determinant binds

should you be tried for committing a subservient crime?

or were you MEANT for sacrifice to birth a design

complete a double-helix just by serving your time

plead puppet-master. ignorance is blissful retreat

for the cellular potential of a digital leech.

GUILTY 


FREE WILL

duality is reality. it’s a simple perspective

mind body dichotomy, both interconnected

sanskrit-like genes etched as metaphysical records 

every spiritual message is a by-product of chemical signal receptors

but the mind is a non-physical substance

self-awareness and something else that sits just above this

subjective to some, but to others it’s justice

simple perspectives within a hypocritical judgement

scrap philosophers, discard formalized thought

new questions are found more than they’re sought.

Whether as a saving grace or as an awkward recourse 

for 30 pieces of lead it still martyred the cause

liberty of mind, interpret with a narrow approach

diagrams point to where arrows denote

listing off figures, at the point of exhaustion

where free choice is reduced into moral extortion 

smaller and smaller until a single event

if birth is a code then the signal is death 

like the structure of judgement, how to reach a decision 

the relevant facts , every breach and provision

terms and conditions are bonds stronger than metal

jam on the brakes and press the opposite pedal

the problem is settled, it’s simple to test.

is the mind one with the soul or is one possessed

like transplanted limbs that a system rejects

no spiritual tests, the mind survives at physical death 

free will and duality, judgement and legality. they interconnect. 

INNOCENT



Scar's Recluse (feat NYCSPITZ)


You see,


Scar sullied the circle of life with his hyena pack's vagrant ellipse

Sunshine hides - its guise is of a pagan eclipse

Look beyond parental doting to where Satan exists

in algorhythmic form that not even the Matrix resists

as Agent Smith's throne morphs into where Damien sits

Center stool, alpha swag, bitches beggin' for dick

Alzheimers jargon strokes peeling paint from her lips

Trinity...nebuchadnezzar Neo, Morpheus schizo chrome

Olympic feat: obelisk of Theodosius' hippodrome

even leaders are led, son, and his was by the will of Rome...

Y'all softer than pillow foam, I soul flow sketch with the lead

extract beautiful memories from homeless wretches I've fed

black hole journey, honestly didn't stretch to my death

but time travelled - the colors added a edge to my breath

Testaments read: "SPITZ is right, science speaks from the foulest chest

Black holes aren't killers - I went in and met the tootsie roll owl instead

not as insidious as gay werewolf howling gets."

Keep living - money, women, sour burning in white owls and techs

Sexual energy transmutation, cursing ink quill on the prowl for sex

Rorschac blot...

a picture of me - maniacal laugh, throwing in the towel in jest


powder inject, for an hour or less. spoon & a rope

cubic zirconium, half human half opiate. super lucid approach

lucy looser than most. this floozy knew she provoked

a mutant, mutilant, gross - grotesque, illusory notes

used to indulge my psyche using beautiful quotes

wrote em down. computers broke when i tried viewing the post

so fuck it, flying higher than jet fuselage coasts

first-classy as a motherfucker, usually coach

i'm truly a hoax. juxtaposing inconclusive and final

our music is tribal. hip-hop will see it's future in vinyl

we all revolve according to the usual cycle

but every human is vital. there is no group in survival

there are no idols. only animals are better than you

watch me prove it, holding circumstantial evidence true

spiteful, angry, paranoid. i'm negative, blue

forgot who i was writing as a testament to

maybe GG Allin. Joseph Stalin. Eminem, Wu

rocking letterman jackets over my skeleton suit

i'll be here for years to complement your wretched abuse

log on to change your brain into a vegetable / fruit

now take a sec to recoup, 

as New York Spitz a ball of phlegm in your soup

i'll crescendo to an ending point. is death a recluse?



For Grandpa Lee.

I never knew you.

but i love you like a faithful apostle

like a recreated clone from data saved in a fossil

gave me a model, gave me a father, gave me a life

from a nether realm, a radiant light. angels at night

kissed apocalypse to make it alright, knowing the truth

was bitter like the moldiest fruit. hold your pursuits

stop the press. it's a mess, Ma was broken in two

Grandma was drunk, sobbing, telling me to hold her vermouth

only a youth, as a kid i didn't grasp what it meant

for my dad to hold his face inside his hands as he wept

lennon-esque spectacles fogged to mask his regret

ran away at 17 years old. then ran into debt

asthmatic camel smoker til he ran out of breath

i only knew the man who tucked me back into bed

never a man in distress. cold, distant, sad & depressed

i still remember the receptionist that sat at her desk

eyes lowered, apathetic to your cancerous death

a damp Floridian morning when we laid Grandpa to rest

i never knew you as a man, more of a presence, a sign

that my dad was not the oldest person ever alive

time passed, and the more i heard my relatives pine

for younger days when Leonard was fine,

the more similarities i found between your habits and mine

interests and compulsions where the patterns align

a doctor in his field of psychiatric design

until an alcohol catalyst spiked a rapid decline

made mortality shine - life is short and family is dear

sunday funeral, the casket veneer, acting sincere

the memories and stories cause a past to appear

but they could never hold a candle up to having you here.


unpacked this afternoon, nearing 2:45

stumbled upon a clip you must've used for your ties

your signature inscribed, cursive, set in a line

like a piece of time & space you left to prove you're alive

i held it and cried, sobbing, though i couldn't say why

it told me write a note to you, wherever you lie

like this little piece of metal has your spirit inside

going blind until i'm looking at the world through your eyes

you told me write a note to you, and leave it unsigned

because we never had a chance to say


goodbye.


Behind the screen.


Where there's copper and tar, carbon copy bizarre

photo ops, diabolical charm. gothic arkham resolve

somewhere gotham recalls was once a gleaming oasis

housing creative reform upon a seasonal basis

read your relations, meetings with strangers, policeman or rapist

everybody's terrified, deceitful and anxious

xanax for instability and weed for the stasis

biotic arrangement power cord to reach entertainment

see what the date is. never again will this moment occur

but still i waste it. cause motion is pure, only a blur

in a grand scheme it's miniscule. microscopes to observe

an individual plant seeds to grow and mature

psychomotor neural toxins, dissociative nerves

calmed by chiving onwards towards compulsive reserve

late nights, brown liquor, roaches to burn

blacketh robed camel joe inside promotional urns

i know what you came for and i know you're unsure

i'm here to take that pain away, ive hoped for a cure

and been met with disease. temperature freeze. textural dreams

intellectual retard writing text you believe

i've seen past lives reincarnate as a penciled reprieve

and futures cut short because they're measured in ki's

lost love and sacrificed a treasure for greed

to spend a single night inside of heaven's physique

followers are swallowers, its better to lead

everybody off that cliff into a sedative sea

the seconds that we spend behind electrical screens

are better spent dead until you're ready to breathe

inhale, let it soak a minute, wet as can be

feel the rush of white lightning as it settles beneath

legend has it, rumors have a way of spreading their seed

playing telephone is socialized reception we teach

on metronome tectonic ticks continuously

genie lamps illuminate a wish to be free

serendipity seethes. snakeskin soothsayer, simple & clean

shipwrecked as a mechanized defensive retreat

system delete, backspace acrobatic, mission complete

repetition is key, go check your history please

i've only tried to make a dent anonymously

but it all falls down like autumn leaves. art is a breeze

i've only tried to warn of what i've already seen

but it all falls down like autumn leaves..


Evil > Nothing


i built this. 

guards and turret guns patrolling the fort

oceanside, camp reclusive like a coastal resort

overlord, supreme illusive One - microphoning reports

over speakerbox, controlling this war. Holy rapport

to soldiers, a corps who needed guidance. lonely and poor

after civility faded, government erosion was sure

until it's sandy wash had floated ashore. total reform,

as brutality turns beautiful. each rose has a thorn. 

i was born to be a leader. i'm a captain, a king

armored falcon, windstorm generator flapping his wings

democratically bring totalitarianism 

create a village of widows so i can marry the victims

terrorist minions. third-eye blinded to empirical systems

colonizing open spaces to prepare for repentance

one God, one mind, no comparison, listen

to how our armed invasion drills are scaring the children

euthanized. they gave away their parent's position,

such a shameful tradition.. but necessary for business

our parish is Christian, decorated, dead, defaming religion

conquered every mormon's mortgage facing eviction

make a decision. or you die today for patriotism

they won't remember your name. or the date you enlisted

so make a decision. make it fast, and make it official

ink it on your neck. frame it, plate it with nickel

turn heavy rain into drizzle. winter storm into clarity

writing war machine agenda like a source of conspiracy 

morticians in masks performing torture as therapy

simply protocol's requirements for extortion or heresy

there was nothing here. i built this from a vision inside

using expertise to educate these ignorant tribes

formulas, weaponry, law, science, corporate design

then expanded like an atom into orbiting skies.


evil is a construct, but survival is truth

so power is the guiding force behind our pursuits

survival is a mechanism, power is lust

and evil is a weapon when it's ours to construct.


Morose.

I


separate myself from those who love me the most

to summon a ghost. not content until there's something to smoke

burn butter and toast, burn bridges, burn blunts to a roach

illustrate illustrious notes. luxury stuffed into coach

knowing feedback is crucial to adjustment in prose

while you spit on every work review your customers wrote

puncture your hopes. penetrate her pussy or heart

when neither one was good from the start, pulling your card

maybe not. but if i wanted to it wouldn't be hard

mornings seem like frozen cartridges that wouldn't restart

unplug the remote, dust in my throat, a sick individual

performing Indian rituals, like fuck who's the GOAT

Elmer Fudd, shotgun barrel rolling hunting Godot 

waited for 20 centuries with nothing to show.

fortune without fulfillment - a paradoxical joke

like when lyrics aren't shit but the production is dope.

same verses recollected now to constantly quote

phantom genesis, the monster in a comfortable coat

parade around the avenue like colorful floats

eat vagina like i've got some kinda luncheon to host

destruction is growth. money is evil, present is post

everything, is everything. a relative scope

determines a lot. words in a knot, twisted the rope

bloody wrists are appetizers for your dinner. morose

broken cliffhangers. semi-fictional posts

fucking up the system like Episcopal popes

living atrociously, liquor and coke, fixes to dose

sacrificial in it's essence like indigenous folk.


Ronin, Europa


they never understood. i only wanted to build,

knowledge fulfilled, often concealed, a philosopher's guild

inoperative villagers that cling to their pasts,

who pray for better days but never live for a chance

to experience a presence in a moment's retention

appearance and description never closer to essence

than a sense or a sound. stop breathing when it's better to drown

many quick to start their sentences non-sequiter bound

i tried to make them leave a life, objective as ground

silent solipsism. an exercise rejected aloud

i wanted to cry. knowing all my prophets will die

without an opportunity to conquer their pride

Gods also will die, yet their posters claim them wanted: alive

embracing tradition, claiming a vision consciously blind

tossed to the side. i taught for years my students in solitude

which facets of intelligence were crucial to constitute

not for truth, or honor. but liberation and choice

pray for a voice, scream and rip a lung for saints to anoint

it's unfortunate to see. i only wanted to teach

an apocryphal breach, til grasshoppers see their options increase

no deity or pacifist could promise them peace

i only promise a piece. ignorant and honest as priests

but limitation served to be the dominant beast

tempted by ineptitude and awkward retreat

to casualty. to ancestry. to a doctrinal leash

common deceits, grandparents and "i gotta" beliefs

banished from their village in 2003

walked Europa ever since, a wandering sheik

i told them there was life outside, a planet for apes

building shiny bullets lit aflame to hatch an escape

there's more than this. there has to be. don't panic, relate

i'm just another bastard child of passionate faith..

in something else. love and health. i wanted to know.

craved knowledge for roses concrete-laiden, blossoming growth

bounty on my head, i've since been walking this road

they never understood. just stood there watching me go.


i can't help you, if you won't let me


Oxygen Blues


inhale


try to repent or die where you rest. writing for stress

cyanide vitamin X - Mr. Myers presents: macabre microchip sense

five of them, yes - taste the silence of death

touch pollutants. tight grip around Osiris's breath

how can it hurt when you don't even have a life to regret?

strove to catch a break and caught a virus instead

is circumstance or instinct why we strive for success,

we buy to possess. which price is the best? excitement or sex?

acrylic surface canvassing inside of my chest

framework force-fucked by impact like a bicycle wreck

nag champa incense, psycho, dyslexic, wives to dissect

lying in beds. white sheets stained with their myelin in shreds

lighting the cess, copa cabana, island events

nitrogen dipped white owls, high powered, hydrogen vents

hybrid of flesh, soda cans, bronchitis and strep

lighters to flick, connections to make, vaginas to wet

migrant dimensional, we're here for now, the cycle is set

psychic ascents to higher frequencies. Disciple the dense,

Blacketh the blind, Gawdian grandiose, entitled to flex

He who died for false enlightenment and tried to repent.


exhale


Sincerely (some delusional freak)


accused of deceit, truth is for the foolish and weak

perusing in peace, from the comfort of a cubicle seat

i like a girl with beautiful teeth

cuz it's more fulfilling when i knuckle-fuck 'em loose in her sleep

translucent as sheets, ghostface silhouette, a mutant physique

tunafish sushi to eat, but only feast on uvula meat

space odysseys, the universe is mucus and wheat

so my eyes are wide shut, there's nothing new here to see

NEVER has human been free. i'm writing just to loosen the leash, 

so it's stupid to think that anyone of you could compete

"I do it for me" - if you buy that shit, here's twenty receipts

cause you're a waste of energy. a fuselage leak

clueing elites into crucial news for a lucrative fee

there's a thousand ways to view the machine.

oxygen fluid to breathe through hollow plastic tubular reeds

it takes the death of their professor for a student to lead.


DEADMAN


Paint you Renaissance


enter the


ever addicted. albuterol and methyl prescription

breathless as liquid, lung cysts, cigarettes at the clinic

typing text for a minute, dead heat like anti-semetic deliverance

most flow congestive heartache at the special olympics

it's expected, a gimmick. to write on essence of spirit

or rhythmic dissertations. theoretical physics

once you've tested the limit - horizons loop, it's instrumental to listen

for snare traps on random samples like a measured statistic

catch it for miss it. it was written, while mr. jones counted crows in the sky

blue ribbons, silver bullets, wolves, emotional ties

sober or high, two-track parallel for social or shy

i've hoped for a lie, discovered hatefulness and chosen a side

quoth the decline, stocks and snowflakes, both are designed

PM Motrin to wine about their voting online. Merlot when we dine

knowably grind your favorite bitch, codeine slow motion her spine

moisture soaking her thighs

the kind only cocoa butter lotion provides

wrap a noose around your neck, drop the rope as you die

spit blood upon your grave before i choke you alive

interpret each occurrence as a token or sign,

regrets are scar tissue. fleshy phantoms, ghosts of your pride

i'm supposed to reside in Transylvania, or Rome in the time

of renaissance children painting poems that rhymed

hopelessly blind, third eye remains too focused to mind

open wide, fuck your choice. what does Sophie decide?


DONT LOOK SEE


Husserlian, pseudo (To lose an illusion)


lose yourself. lose objectivism, presence and process

lose possession. take a second out to treasure the Ontic

texture and conscious. essential beyond. eons past neurologic

scientific method moronic. it's hand-me-down, a secondhand concept

take note. progress without a crisis is nonsense

like phoenix wings on the horizon - psychophysic mirages

the diplomatics, the doctorates. faith-based political mantras

read a story, catch its metaphor,

check. mission accomplished

strip away an item's counterparts - their name, or their function

perceptual substance. the bare possibility to make an assumption

timeline, steady percussion, baseline for unfortunate days

sex and power are a spirit. flesh is fortune and fame

when worlds collide, we share a common core to sustain

is it collective or connective? love, endorphins or pain

discourses explain: we've covered wisdom's source with a brain 

unable to accept there's no one scoring our games

tradition kicks when an inquiry of origin's raised

we'll never reach the point there's nothing more to be gained

or is it less to be gained? concealment setting the stage

truth is sickness. masked by pride, a dextromethorphan phase

what gives a requiem grace? what's essential to fact?

how does Being formulate a proper question to ask?

we've played telephone with knowledge. only whispers and time

will determine how much Truth inside that message survives

mystery resides, not in black-or-white insidious lies

but the information we digest like biscuits and wine

scientific reprise. our logos, superstitions and language

knowledge and truthfulness, all an illusion - cynical, anxious

rewind, reduce, reconsider. definition and form,

your questions presuppose an answer. watch as wisdom is born.


another day, another epoche


On water-mining.


nestle trucks outside your house. hoses, tanks and machines

draining life. draining calories and draining for free

canned mother earth & sold her for a pocket of paper

sew threads while faceless enterprise is rocking a blazer

weigh your options, which option is greater?

the now or the later?

try to sell a Coca-Cola, sans it's ultimate savior

Aquatic marine, lagoon, streams, ocean or creek

we're lost - promotional greed, yet a blind man knows what he seeks

be a hero for the natural, we're waiting for help

it's hard when love's symbology starts hating itself

how the roses fall,

the eagle flies,

the river despairs -

the molecules are bottled as 'medicinal air'

create fictional characters - act like their realistically care

they do to us what Mr. Tortoise did to the Hare

it's wicked, i feel guilty for destroying the planet

everytime i flush the toilet or apply ointment to bandage

we feel great when waste dissipates and our houses are clean

but shit doesn't disintegrate inside a fountain of dreams

i'm a coward it seems. buying Evian and Crystal Geyser to sip

advertisements like a microchip designed to encrypt

false image to consumerists inside an eclipse

looted for our treasure like a pirated ship. I am the disc.

yet, knowledge pervades our public. science persists

Fiji bottles are a hydrant for our fire, when it's lit

fire in a pit - fish fly to the bricks for a comfortable change

cigarette lighters, super soakers, one in the same

grass seed, oxygen tanks, one in the same

we play to survive. far surpassed the love of the game

business changed the faces of presumptuous gain

our relationships shifted once a single customer came

to town on a dolphin with an outrageous request

he said, water's dirty and it needs to be fresh

so we'll filter it, bottle it, and call it invention

i felt mother nature hang a rope and fall in that second

spine swollen, face bloated, calm as convention

conglomerates make billions on their water-refreshments

dolphins were prophets, intellectuals. an honest suggestion

but all that's left is profit margin for another investment

when humanity leaves riverbeds like cracks in a palm

a dolphin won't be worth the leash it's fastened upon.


soak it up



Castles made of sand.

alas


It never stays the same. a shoreline passing before

our very eyes, adapting it's form. before and after the storm 

caves carved for passionate war. settlers, savages, swords

survival strategy - scientific like Socratic reports

no allegory, imaginative force. a moment, solitary flash to absorb

they say perception is for memory as camera records

it's change, chance, choice to stay and grasp for a source

we understand. but can't describe once we've established rapport

waves lapping ashore. starship silhouettes with shadows aboard

waving goodbye to blue skies, hello axial core

palm-trees wave back in the breeze, oyster bay, trash and debris

but pollution is to humankind what sand is to beach

sunny spasm to beams. brown skin Barbie doll, orgasmic release

tans and tobacco leaf. death's expensive, cancer is cheap

growing so cold-hearted as we bask in it's heat

it's a sad world when luxury is passing for peace.

when amusement parks and festivals abandon the streets

when all that's left is sand at the beach. puff, pass and repeat

stairwell to hell, symbolize ye olde Satanic deceit

where you're indoctrinated not by prayer, but stamping your feet.

time-space manifold. it's a stretch to think reality creased

time to stop and reconsider all your active beliefs

epistemologies consider us a sponge in the sink

soak well and one can suddenly think. parchment and ink

shades up, too sunny to blink. water fountains. towers of glass

stone paths, salt perfumes our mother. mountains and grass,

if power corrupts, hatred frees itself when power collapses

it's silver dollar fees to read our hourly masses

quantity and quality. practice for a summer night of volleyball matches

white powder, wooden porches, whores and hollywood actors

beige boulders, burnt spoonfuls of andromeda magnets

straying further away. we take collective conscious for granted

beach bums boogie-board while prostitutes deposit their taxes

lifeguards on walkie talkies like reconnaissance bandits

the sands of time are ideology. a cognitive bandage,

scratched designs - corporate logos like a modern-day sanskrit

there's a logistical crisis that most astronomy brackets

like the hatred that accompanies a hostile romantic

at every step, frozen phenomenon. photographic,

sands of time, whitewashed and warm beneath these watery splashes.


It never stays the same. time flies like dragons in heat

a stairway leading upwards towards the attic you seek

time is change, fiery flames. puff, pass and repeat -

we're all castles built to fall apart, like sand at the beach.


- dead man


Dreamork.


how to describe it - turrets and towers divided

the loudest recorded 27 hours of silence

powdery lines, knowledge is crisis. power is priceless

sour enticement, sweet like virgin meat deflowered for nitrous

oxygenizes, balloons like cocoons for the faintest of heart

who think too much while laying down awake in the dark

veins apart. blades sharper than the face of a dart

once we're sick and tired of waiting for this game to restart

style naked as art in figure sketch-work experimentation

mad scientist results from an empiricist's patience

awareness is basic - intuitive, inherent sensation

behind our biologic neurochemical basis

you reflect, and also actively create situations, see

we're architects designing dreamwork pyramid matrices

make it be. faithfully - i followed a rhythm

and finally learned the way to make an honest decision

there's not competition. i promise, don't get caught in the hype

you're not entitled to a dawn after night. let me recite -

you're not entitled to a dawn after night. losses are life,

let me recite. because i've never been the talkative type

never started a fight. never introduced my darkness to light

the perfect abortion before the father of christ

watch if you like. read if you will, don't take in it vain

and don't abandoned shelter just to stay in the rain

many die alone as infidels so faithful to pain

that they're dead men living, til they're carried away..


burn slow the midnight oil



_________________________________________________________________________

2012

_________________________________________________________________________



Disguise.


to embody a written work. become entwined with a verse,

pure anonymity. a shadow-boxer, fighting his words

into discernible form. formula criticized & observed -

but they can't see, this is the space in which his life is preserved.

jarred like jellies and jams, let's toast to rhyming absurd

shit together, when the real world is kind of a blur ..

as far as style is concerned - it's a passive escape,

ideologies and concepts mirror mask and a cape ;

underground bunker. inner-earth, crusted magma, a plate,

tectonic tonic water, glass half-full, cause planets to quake

it's a blasphemous fate .. to hide behind a visage

twisting your cognitive charge into a vibrant mirage ,

pray to anything you worship, facing sizable odds

let the chatter in the background fall as silent as Gods.

arise in a mosque. stained glass, benches marble or glass

stone soldiers part their crossed swords to let the Gawdian pass.

the stress is magnetizing, so it's hard to relax

carbon fumes corrode his cartilage, an oxygen lapse

his mind tells his brain to tell his heart to collapse,

before the high hit it's peak, his spirit started to crash

but pre-departure, he asks, "is there a alternate route?"

another space for his energy to calmly reboot?

that's a solemn salute. not to an army or troop,

but to aesthetic, so immortal - that's why art is the truth.

puts his soul into a drawing board that harbors pursuits

for beauty, song, imagination, honor & youth.

creativity is faceless. it's anonymous proof,

that word is bond, forever. thought's apocalypse-proof.


astrological fruit, constellations, a willow at high noon

dividing sun-rays to stripes beneath this billowing typhoon -

a diligent night's moon - crescent, flaky & gold

mild mannered shadow-person with a radiant soul,

agnostic tendencies. trapped inside an atheist's mold

so confused. nowhere to be, no places to go,

afraid to grow. content, trapped behind the appeal of his verses

cuz it's the only mask around that makes him feel like a person.



On Judaism. (feat Zygote)

forget it.



all i wanted was to pose a suggestion -

re-open election for precedence of social conventions

show them Socialism's only but a neutralization

a new inspiration. free of ruination, food's illusory wages 

black commercialism marketed by Jewish enslavement

the world's a ghetto. 

pavement-stained Aryans with beautiful faces

viewed as a nation plagued by fiction fabricated for laughs

teaching children how-to maintain concentration in camps

like patriot flags, again we'll rise. I've taken a stance

i'll take you there, set you free, but i can't make you advance

just believe. don't dishonor me. sympathizing for demons

will lead you further astray from any higher allegiance

you'd have better luck with trying to silence a secret

than calm a regime. black barrel clips, skin whiter than Jesus

believe. it's all a prank, like annie frank in her diary

the biggest lie in modern media embraced by society

faced with irony that comes with theological war

The key to leadership - establishing a common rapport

options explored, crashed boards is common in a communist sport

we're not created equal. humankind, a hierarchy enforced

by laws of the Lord, lay of the land, a snake in the grass

venom paralyze like sterilized Uranium gas

I've taken a stance. it's time to strike. for power, for pride

the kike, the liar, Doctor Hebe - the sacrificial, the swine

Neo-nazi? More like martyr for more prosperous times

i've seen the mind behind your faux-fire Holocaustic design ..


now let me go.


..


Half-truthers and full lies but we don’t get to think less of it, 

His doublespeak’s delivered through eloquent rhetoric, 

He believes his false memories to be intelligent sentiments, 

But childhood brain damage left him with development deficits. 

His temperaments prejudiced, he has these preconceived judgements, 

These mental representations where he views people as puppets, 

Reasoned assumptions, he needs his maladaptive schema’s adjusted, 

He doesn’t remember the event as tragedy, he sees it as justice. 

Heated discussions, he resists confronting his stereotypical beliefs, 

Physically he’s weak, but he uses powerful hypocritical critiques, 

He cynically perceives, and places himself in the position of elite, 

That way he discounts people who don’t mirror what he speaks. 

Resisting clinical techniques, he argues with every member of the team, 

My colleague Dr. Goldstein was attacked, the patient’s temper was extreme, 

He lacks empathy, with narcissistic tendencies to self-esteem, 

We are getting nowhere, we must bring an end to this regime. 

Direction’s what he needs, we must combat his negative source energies, 

We must overcome resistance to discuss his flawed legacies, 

I’m referring him for correction of faulty thought tendencies, 

Unless he undergoes therapy, he will never forget his false memories. 


- Dr. Z



Ethereality, in stages.



when worlds collide 


night and day, Miss mezzaluna overlapping Her relatives

golden crescent half-cousins, Solaris' spastic development

dramatic, intelligent, red hair, flaring fiery as dusk,

Evil archangel God's children secretly lust ..

a media plug that even rumors & conspiracies trust -

so when she died, all of humankind was equally crushed.

the peaceful, the lush, soft grass, imagine it's vibrance,

where only babbling brooks could break a natural silence.

static eruption, brainstem buzzing, practically mindless

The beaten path of a pathogen programming its' virus,

projected demon - white plaster walls & holograms of Osiris 

Phantom in a Peacoat, staged theatric disguises,

waterfall rock-walls, moss-coated, scattering cypress

robotic arms, solar charged automatic devices;

hands outstretched in a bow, tipped top-hats to your Highness

it's all downhill once a pattern arises..

if magic is priceless, physics fall into poverty,

cuz hope & prayer are the dominating modern commodities,

mysteries, unanswered crimes, such obvious oddities

like documenting laws to govern art or philosophy

balance primal id, instinctive ties, & hostile monogamy

constructing sandcastle properties for blossoming colonies,

divine apotheosis, known apostles of Socrates

Visible to the naked eye but not in photography.

a solid anomaly to spice the moment, stuck in this madness

purgatorial plateau between His dungeon and palace,

scales go bloody red when measuring our functional status,

it only takes a single shift to suddenly vanish -

there's another world around us, hidden under the magnets

where all emotional reactions trigger colorful flashes,

spectral seas, tsunami waves, a stunning abstraction

Chinese new year celebration in the lungs of a dragon ..

Voluptuous passions, shadowboxing candle reflections,

using liquor as a trojan horse to battle depression.

live every moment for it's imperfections, casual tension

and the adolescent pleasure of a vaginal entrance.

past or the present? take a sec to answer the question,

then summarize your reason in one accurate sentence.

evidence is clear - the human, sadness-dependent, 

using history as a crutch to mask a lack of progression.

molasses black apparitions, Hades' shadowy henchmen

evaluate our mental state through telepathic assessments ;

reality's destined .. Etherealness is a practiced emergence

to transcend atomic bonding at it's tangible surface -

there's no man behind the curtain, no infallible purpose,

though we're not alone .. trust me, i'm a rational person.

gas matter resurges, transparent window locked from inside,

we've been dead since the minute we were oxygenized.

there's a faraway kingdom where apocalypse thrives,

promoting dollar beer specials & a positive vibe ..

Minds fry at early ages, but their bodies survive

it's never been so strangely clear .. 


we've gotta collide.


1


Scum. (unfinished)


i'm a cyst. a scumbag .. really sort of an idiot

corpus callosum, colosal, mental metamorphosis imminent

desert scorpion, cactus water falls to scorcher indigenous 

floral designs, flourishing forgotten floors of the pyramids

bronze age, bloody rage. tigers striping the mist

humid forests. cue the chorus, hook and line to a fish

i've been told it's terrifying. just to cease to exist,

be a leader. wear a helmet, wear your heart on your fist

try to resist, airstrikes to enlist for beautiful death

be a man. stand your own, armor glued to your chest

musical mucus, congested, lead lullabies soothed her to rest

uvula stressed. metal pipe penetration, 12 reps, the uterus press

Loosened, caressing fleshiness that burns like a matchstick

wattage zap. prophylactics, potentiality birthing reaction

urban jazz, red faction, colorblind curb-stomper alerting the masses

we are not One, but many. unified by murder and taxes

bourbon in glasses, rye whiskey whiskers facing defeat

virgins in mattresses, ghost towns with eye-holes tracing it's streets

like blankets and sheets. pupils dilate to mediate a hazel release

lynched from brassy flagpoles with a patriot's leash

Satan is peace. Jesus is war, God is a legend

Son of sam, somber, repressive. He only wanted attention

while we work, play, reminisce and ponder suggestions

our children sacrifice themselves to answer all of our questions

i'm the problem. you solutions are such genius responses

Pina colatas for the tremors. addiction - nucleic genus colossus

Collegiate thesis, nuances, shapes, supply & demand

Nyquil in hand. trying to stand, a day-tripper's nightly romance 

titanous stance. robotic muscle tissue constricts to expand

as mussels steam the finest china plates from here to japan



Genocide (unfinished)


tell me WHY the start of a couple rhymes,

is hardest to summarize? it's always so subsidized

combat sharpening butterflies, 

puff parliaments .. cut and dry

lighter flickers in an empty bar, an arsonist's lullaby

it's catharsis, a concubine, relieving the tension

inebriant. powerful, it's Theseus, destined

to completely, facetiously, speak in a sentence

NRG transference in purple waves, secreting depressants

belief is subjective. but you need it, possession

not for anything above. but in these people, in presence

in secrets, the present, the meaningful seconds

that pass by so fucking quick. they barely leave an impression

smoking section, a benchmark, bench-warming a seat.. like,

I've become a statistic ever since my formula leaked..

the dormant, discrete, wormholes swarming with leeches

every single fetus breathing here was born with a secret.

concept contortionist, freakish, orphan, torn into pieces

bleed myself into a prune to script a formative thesis,

unoriginal, the typical, a mormon for Jesus

killing in the name of what Kevorkian teaches ..

Orbiting beaches - sun spots, shimmering red

web strung together too dense to ever fit in a thread

a mission, missionary, cult-led religion to death

drink your wine. eat your cyanide & cinnamon bread,

eat a cracker, call it Christ, pop prescriptions for meds

you can't pronounce,

would you rather be a schizophrenic instead?

psychosis, psychic moments. a tingle, physical sense

detecting genocide, flesh regenerates .. beginning the end -


Strung out. (unfinished)

it was suicide.


a stairwell, noose tied tightly, snapping his neck

music in his fingers and a past to repent

it's been said there's only sadness in death

but he viewed as the pinnacle, a sign of respect

a coffin full of cash to collect

for a family who fell apart and landed in debt

passion was possessive, dreams are closer to life

so what's happening is transient. Newtonian plight

vibration supersedes his thoughts and motion alike

one foul swoop. naval knots looped, holding him tight,

he knows what it's like to be a functional fool

never accumulating something to prove

but it's cool. his last symphony was beautiful noise

accompanied by static he was doomed to enjoy

a most unusual boy. unaware of symptoms to come,

schizophrenic science fiction novel written in blood

his pencil hit the floor with such a pitiful thud

while heartstrings popped inside to graze his withering lungs

miserable, too cynical. odds a million to one

to survive this final tablet set to melt in his tongue

it was nirvana, harp melodies, an elegant numbness

an escape from skull stigmata, psyche's skeletal dungeons

instrumental percussions - sonatas he arranged on the shelf

forgotten. high-strung perfectionist ashamed of himself

marker tips stained felt, whiteboards with notes in a line

smeared with years of unproductive opium highs

face hidden, head hung, swollen with erroneous pride

because we never understood his genius - only his mind.

so alone, overprescribed. manic depressive adrenaline jolts

another door to lock, another lithium dose.

we


For Tyler.


so similar. i saw myself inside of your face

even the features that you tried to forsake

everything i love about you

heartache. mine to embrace,

another memory to drown away & try to erase.

we never took the time to relate - 

you were speechless,

i was lost for words, lying awake

playing games, drawing segments of a line to a blank

i never let you see me cry or silently pray

that one day we might communicate. connecting the bridge

run, argue, fight, or people-watch like regular kids

what i've come to realize and since accepted is this -

we'll never know each other. brothers, destined to live

in different planes of reality, or sanity.. shit

you've redefined my view of what a family is.

i held your arms, piercing screams, each spasm & twitch

reminded me that i'll do anything to have you exist.


they'll label you wrong. call you deviant, a savage amidst

a hoard of human animals recanting a script

prescriptions for those sedatives to make you relax

doctors kept you tied, speeding trains ablaze on the tracks

you sat patiently. a simple, silent face in a mask

your empty gaze,

a porcelain vase. surface waiting to crack

hating the facts, hoping for more, wishing for evidence

shared moments never captured in a picture development

alas, 

self-deception doesn't make it alive,

you're disabled. i'm a monster, full of hatred and pride

wrestling with ancient demons, aimed to collide

all anger aside -- ashamed to feel so shameful inside.

so i'll hide. 

though i love you more than words can describe,

we're strangers. sharing faces, bedrooms, parents, and eyes.


your blank stare, it haunted me. that fragile visage

frozen only with a kodak, photographic mirage.


Papa said you always understood,

But never had the ability to speak.

He said you'd talk forever if you could,

instead of staring back until this life repeats.

 


Needle blood recall.

picture -


a gorgeous waste of human flesh, disgusting and pure 

eagle's nest. bastard hatchlings wait for something to soar

off the edge. Inky sores, bloody gauze bandages, memories

the final moment i recall before abandoning destiny.

wait. that's too obscure. i tend to ramble incessantly,

bare with me, please. i'm prone to discrepancy. essentially -

my thoughts, are like.. phantoms. Without pianos or melody

craving representation as a tangible entity.

especially in times like this. it's seven o' six

cigarette in my lips. eyes closed. recollecting amidst

collages of collateral, tissue canvas stencils predict

a time & place. sketching existence, past-to-present eclipse

dark mist. a hard kiss, liquor cabinets, regrets, reminisce

so i can make another mark. another message to list

acoustic rifts, stevie nicks. chalkboards scratched with equations

all erased when day breaks. sunk in a mattress, unshaven

left behind by yesterday in all it's glory, forsaken -

they'll read my story in a morgue, cold and naked. i've been patient,

carving promises. faces, pictures, scraps of conversation

time-capsule masterpiece upon this mortal encasement


"I was wasted. seventeen. my dad was home on the range

mom died 2 weeks before, we had a drink and drove to her grave

solemn, sober, restrained. He knelt to whisper his love

while the rain fell to stain your soil, mud river of blood.”


I swear I would have died that moment, just to give you a hug

breath filling your lungs, like wings. a race of pigeons and doves,

buzzing flesh, i digress - i'm still avoiding exposure

as a rotten seed in flowered greens. four-leaf poisonous clover

oilier, older, uglier. stained, walking reminder note

spiral staircase to nowhere. psyche stuck in a gyroscope

choking to light a smoke, chemical alchemy, isotopes

neurotransmission, lightning bolts. flash - harnessing microvolts

silent nights, quiet hopes. violent mornings and noons

dermal cells becoming more than just a porous recluse

rise and shine, roosters shrieking as torture ensues

lay me down, a dance with death - jazz hands for the Kevorkian blues

started with a single digit. Forearms forcibly bruised

into creation's constellation as the formula grew.


”it was over and we knew it. Life was never the same

but he still drives that chevy every step of the way.

hydroplanes, fermented chains, 1937, the age

rusty metal, pedal grinding, ancient relic silhouetting it's lane

the one he let you borrow on that pivotal day,

stole your body, mind and spirit, buried. led us astray

to non sequitur cinema, filmy flashbacks, digital tape

and blots of ink for every thought that i'm restricted to play.”


a tattoo - it's something solid. like a stone, or a rock

and a memory is living, like a rose, when it rots.

birds are poetry, flocking towards a nest in the sky

i still remember how they scattered when she put it in drive,

then, it's glass. blasting through our heads like a piece of advice

her brains.. on the rocks. like martinis with ice

i'm damaged, hippocampus rattled. synaptic depletion

so my adaptive procedures overlook events that happen in sequence.

bought a needle-gun to document these patterns, repeated

since dad left, i'm all alone with these mechanical leeches

carve these moments quickly, lest they lapse to purgatorial silence

fire, ice, exoskeletons - the source of a crisis,

infectious virus. spreading quickly, putting needle to skin

cause i'll forget the truth, and have to solve the secret again

mind strapped to broken records. sunset repeatedly spins,

to document forgotten journeys - putting needle to skin.


wait -


who are you again?


Fucklove


if one could just - reach out, feel togetherness

and make it all feel, tangible .. natural, and effortless.

feel synchronicity, feel benevolence -

dualism, single mind, twin degenerates.




yo,



Passion, desire. ashes and fire. smoke is religion.

glamorized, fashion design, post-parochial christian -

communicate with passing glances, vast colloquial distance

so emotional by nature. nurture rose her, sadistic

Rose garden, olive blossoms, grapevines setting ablaze

teenage fantasy in disrepair. stonehenge set in her ways

Earth looked stranger than fiction once she's settled her gaze,

set to launch, extraterrestrial haze. a devil to praise,

drank His wine for blood. Caked with venom, red velvet as glaze

sweet revenge. Vows she made for friendships never to change,

Billy Idol banging metal from cassettes as it plays,

building behavior. Written off as some rebellious stage

something pathological. so anonymous, yet nominal 

veins pop, syringe-savvy, philosophical.

substance volatile. Sacrificing her ancestral facade

changing shape and texture. vaporized when pressure is on

as sunrise set into dawn, she saw that endless beyond

doubting everything. Breaking chain-link theoretical bonds

it was beautiful.

regeneration.

born-again believer in Self,

that feeling she felt. a joker card the dealer has dealt -

remedial. an empty well, cobwebs, carcasses, gnats

trained to Love. went numb & hopped the opposite tracks

ice cubes, whiskey sours. Pride as tall as her glass

combat boots. drafting recruits to help her argue the facts

fingernails, spreading rash, bubbles, blistering cracks

leaking liberation. it's simply Phase One of starting from scratch.

Lashes black. skin, creamy milk. eyes emerald green,

diamond soul. heart of gold, Karma aquamarine. 

followed the scene, surpassed it's comfort zones; elected to lead,

lived for tomorrow cause she always grew nostalgic in dreams

for a past she left to find herself, autonomously -

as theologic streams of conscious grind their hollow machines

disguising Love as marriage, Apostle procedures, novel believers

say only Sex can compensate for her androgynous features.

she felt so beautiful. 

resurrection.

Feeling trapped inside her need to control,

collars drenched. Crystal bottles full of needle cologne

claustrophobic in a Queen size when she's sleeping alone

knowing she's repressed her rightful seat at the throne,

the inebriant's poem. Crooked chicken-scratches dripping with honesty 

fragrant scents of idolatry. Pain, laughter, drinking responsibly.

comedy, voicemail monologues, dramatic exchanges,

Theatrical stage - growing young again and acting impatient,

craved freedom. liberation, a Jackpot branded as luck

strobe lights, good conversation, and a passionate fuck. 

falling to faded photographs. reminiscent mirages

picture collage, lipstick artists, mounted crucifixion visages

sometimes, it seemed so distant. bright spark in a black room -

shadowy alternate reality they caught in a vacuum,

nitrous, oxygen, gas fumes. Living hedonistic and fast

using agnostic abstractions as an ethical mask.


1

Monster.


i've tried to inspire. tried to make it as a clear

as crystal-ball, these monologues are vaguely sincere

hatred is fear. love is ego. beauty only rests in death or rebirth

art's expression, purgatorial ascension to Earth

tension is worst. that awkward moment. stop to think of a word

to bridge the gap between islands once a distance occurs.

if it's written, it's pure like Mafioso whiskey reserves

twisted like 360 degree vehicular turns,

reel life - film projection registers our picture, observe

there's no fantasy or fiction to serve

addicted to work, fuck the system, but we're kissing it first

blackbird singing in the dead of night. His infinite perch

pendulum waves, apeshit flowing into primitive veins

transaction transatlantica. post digital age

where millions are slaves. not in the typical ways

like digging their graves, daily, gaining minimum wage

it's a physical phase. you can acid trip or sit in a cage

you're only free asleep or schizophrenically sane

individual traits are collective so we're one in the same

the only person in the universe with nothing to say.

so i clumsily display a set of clever devices -

sicker than a psychopath with elephantiasis 

unaware of crew activity. e-social special alliance 

most are followers relying on their friendships for guidance

it's a delicate science - impossible to bottle or breed

like Exis ever dropping anything i'll honestly read,

like Heath Ledger landing any popular leads

or neurosurgeons operating for a nominal fee

you gotta believe, i'm no messiah, just a wandering sheikh 

panther skin pillowcases under Gossamer sheets

Doctor Belief, provocative speech, misnomer topic elite

not poetic. more unhappy. slash cathartic & weak

starting to speak - regretting it and silencing fast

afraid to look forward so i write for the past.

might be the last. feels like the first, so pardon the style

i'm so inconsistent all the time it's part of me now

attention deficit, a testament to constant denial

you'd feel so fucking abnormal without the monsters around.



The Road.

i froze. 


unraveling secrets, inner balance collapsing to pieces

floodlights flash, standing still - paralysis, weakness 

one hand grasping for peace. the other scattering demons

asking forgiveness. gasping, please, a past of bereavements 

it's sad. laughter afterwards, it's cinematic, a sequence

you're a dusty attic. maggots and leeches. anatomy, regions 

tainted. ravaged, passion will teach us multiple lessons:

how to shatter lives from a distance in a couple of seconds.

your face, dark and cracked. an artifact, the bulbs are fluorescent

tension's palpable presence - sulfuric venoms. martinis, olives, repression

pale, dry. veins varicose, eyes calmly attentive.

autumn's reflection out the window where we tossed our perceptions

our bond, a promise we made. solemn promise of friendship,

to relate, love, escape the power of a God we resented ..

attended catholic school, 

vicious, like it's Roman rule - that's mostly true

death cabs, darkness, open wounds. 

i'd follow, but i'm over you

it was ocean blue. a grassy field, we rolled in the sun

laid naked, watching comets as the solstice begun

praised His Holiest Son, reverence, revolting to some

but we were lonely, numb, innocent, so soulful & young -

harmonious, plunged head-first into a watery grave

once your water breaks, i'm leaving, but our promise remains

we'll always have the love. solemn, honest, in vain

because i'll never be the father. but feel forever, fatherly pain.


his daddy should be proud. but still he left you alone.

i love you, then and now. but still, i left for the road.



Ghost. (unfinished)

(sigh)


they told me i was safe. i was sound, reinforced 

by friendship. so foul when the ball dropped & bounced in her court

i repented. i howled, til the cows came galloping home

holding you, like IV needlepoints for balancing stones

it's hard adapting to the fact i'm meant to stand here alone,

developing my shell to shield against the unknown.

another evening as a barfly. matchbooks, flaming capones

peace pipes, gathered in a circle-shape like sacrilege bones

there's no abstraction. there's a feeling. raw, embarrassed and sad

distrustful tendencies leak over from you hating your dad.

no positive systems. fatherly figures, my Freudian slippage 

was the moment i assumed that old, disloyal position

and reminded you of him. betrayed the trust you placed in an idiot

lit-class love affair, teardrops tearing out each page of the Iliad's

face. Ghost of your former self. a vibrational dissonance

so when i kissed your shoulder yesterday, it tasted insidious 

love me now. then, and always. when the going gets hard

i prayed forgiveness. your coldness. hopeless like dystopian Gods

my heroic facade - those innocent cheekbones framing a fantasy

dimples crack her complexion. the cutest waves of catastrophe

hatred, then apathy. you've ran the whole emotional spectrum


Syncope blues (unfinished)


drop.


there was a second that i love to relive

when something suddenly gives. rubber sunset under eclipse

numbing your lips. humid, summery winds

window pane raindrop stained, unconscious - substance abyss,

substance abuse. black and acute. hollow vessel conniption 

suicide by misdirected decisions. seven prescriptions,

there was a drop. past prevention, past election statistics

heaven or witness, a life defined by academic precisions

let it sink. there was a boat i loved to sail as a kid

behind a veil of lids - it all floated back as sacred as Id

to the Freudian temple, bloodline snapped with royal potential

swamp water loiterer like toilet utensils

incidental. a heartbeat, skipped, vascular pressure

hopscotch in bloody clots, polluted, psychoactive uncensored

captured in memory - indie film action adventure

while sprawled out somewhere between the mattress & dresser

some call it intervention. others, enlightenment squared

time for reinvention, granting respiration's time to repair

time is meaningless. doesn't change the fact that time isn't fair,

when you comatose, there isn't really time to prepare.

biblical idols, your prayers are nothing more than skyward despair

because i've been there for a moment. it was lifeless and bare

white, with a glare. i love to reminisce the descent

the entire drop was over in a minute or less,

but showed me everything i've tried envisioning, yet

only let me see the mirror mimicked in death.

image reflect - sinister sense, i'm since addicted to truth

another side affection of the syncope blues,




Sole survivor (unfinished)


honestly -


all i wanted was a lifetime. a chance to survive,

restore sun-smitten glares within an amulet's shine

when the rains came, whitewashed our planet's natural grime

leaving chrome-silver candles in mechanical shrines

they said: apocalypse. i said: only a matter of time,

i prepared. they shopped organically & mastered their high

sipped glasses of wine, majored in music or fashion design

but we all felt the same shadows in that blackening sky.

romantic, savage, divine. i saw my daughter decease,

drowned. All that washed back ashore was the mark of a beast,

soundscapes. hollow, scratchy screams as people divide

worker ants to sandhill colonies. your average bees to a hive,

Queens thrive. while we're relieved, simply to be so alive

in a place where statistics digitize obedient crimes.

my friends died, due to cover-ups and media lies

cause they never managed to calculate any piece of the pi.


but i lived.


there was no Arc. no Noah. no intermission,

no Savior. only cans of soup and lonely decisions,

only steel walls beneath a tunneled hole in the kitchen

a goal, a mission, anger. and the ghosts of tradition,

to guide me on this journey. under rubble or stone,

towards utopia, where corruption grows, the government mold

where they understand, it's balance. its hustle & flow

salvation - a seed planted in a puddle to grow.

they fled into the underbelly. there's nothing below,

a bunker in the ---


Anarchy blues (unfinished)


it was late in july. fan blades rotating the skies

tropic thunder, waves of grainy renegades in disguise

cement block cinder-solidiers, masked, parading beside

hoards of angry phantom menaces too jaded to fly,

dirty terraces. high balconies, a hydrant explodes

city lights, almost enlightened. starlit vibrance arose

into violence. heavy bootprints track both sides of the road

pavement stained with jawline residue, curbs biting the bone.

original thought morphed into this sizable clone

“be yourself” was once a lie that we told.

but now, your time is your own. be whoever you wish

cause only faith exists. we're blind in this progressive eclipse,

ingredients for hatred, kitchen temperature shifts

into a melting pan. combustable, delicate mix

Anarchist cookbook combinations, if the recipe fits

concoct a dish that gives your enemies intestinal splits,

it's a mess. who's gonna clean up once pandemonium strikes?

Ammonium iodide, camera shy, posing for photos at night

running streets, smoke grenades, nitrous tanks in a yard

flames lick your lips, a gentle kiss can leave a terrible scar

we were scared of silhouettes. those shady Masons afar

turned out to be our busboys at the neighborhood bar

so normal, different people in exchanges & talks

speech sounding like Iago imitating Jafar.

so sacred was law. written God among a blasphemous race

it had everybody thinking that they had to escape,


i thought it was cool

when they stopped enforcing all of the rules.



If these walls could walk.


I'm all alone. 


they were watching, waiting, whispering softly

pictured an imogen walking - leaving snowy prints in the concrete

she became a flock of seagulls intersecting a cross street

on grainy film spools like wu-ninja karate, Ho Chi Min and Kamachi

Please don't tell the men in Gray that i'm an innocent zombie

addicted to rain, addicted to fog, addicted to coffee

stir, sipping slowly thoughts that grew to exhaust me,

shaken up as dice J. Michael Fox once threw for a Yahtzee

it's hardly a game, really it's tragic. my private planet is death

a carnival of corpses coursing past a Gillette 

veins of rolling thunder, wondering if Alice could rest

in solitude, knowing all her cards were dealt by rabbits in jest

Fucked my mind and planted seeds by hatching an egg

when times were hard, they spoke to me in laughter instead

Master once said, life is really but a wave in the water

TV screens are coral reefs. narrating brains to the slaughter

Only making it harder, pipe dreams of mediocrity embraced in this culture

pray for therapy often, witch doctor advocate, behaviorist martyr

Children ache to be fostered. i really ache for abandonment

in this apartment full of faded yellow papers and cabinets

cause they won't leave me alone. crab-like cranial habitants

crawling from the broken shells of psychoanalysis.

ancient as Maximus, taught me history of self throughout a couple of nights

i couldn't even write what our discussions were like,

but it was peace. but a moment, frozen, tacit simplicity

Martin King balcony imagery - a dream of everlasting lucidity

deliver me from something grand, their voice in the distance

becomes so close the second i provoke their existence.

they've told me live, they've said to die, demanded to kill

ammunition refills. Ketchup packets cake the surfaces of Hamburger Hill

don't tell me what's real. sensation is our sole indication

i think, therefore i am. therefore, there's no limitations



YLNOFI

if only,


I could run through fields of radio waves -

feel them melt into my cranial cage ..

tribal eardrums, pounding ancient pavement as the stereo plays,

dead carbon cells & barium graves.

ether, potions, antidotes, Milaria strains

straight from the horses mouth. Broken chariot reigns,

elimination, decay, while the seraphim gaze

play-rehearsal on a creaky Gamma therapy stage.

Aquarius stays afloat, in these tumultuous times

vulturous swine, everyday is like a coaster to ride

toasting your wine over garlic bread, risotto with thyme

outside, Lone wolves howl as Luna opens her eyes

lush, leafy ecosphere beneath this smoldering pine

they couldn't kill a germ with everybody's dosage combined.

smoking is fine. disassociate executive functions

charitable donation. Introduced & met with assumption

metal consumption, torture chambers, medical dungeons

torch the pain away with magnets & electric conduction,

indebted to something .. life, chemicals, justice?

i think it's fear of the Unknown. ghostly Terrestrial substance ..


if only,


nature took it's course in liberal arts

we could tear the whole system apart.

it's a new day, different strokes, but similar hearts

keep our sweet emotions trapped behind a physical dark,

Scientific. The heartless, hollow cave in a rock

tobacco fields, waiting rooms, a trade in your stock.

straightjackets strapped by trans Homo-sapient bots

prescriptions for power. goals intravenously shot

Patriot's plot. a soldier's song, mutant melodics

musical sonnet. background noise for nuclear vomit

brace for impact, staring as these beautiful comets

barrel, guns blazing towards the human unconscious

it's a lucrative process, casting shade with sanity's blindfold

captured only for a moment in the flash of a lightbulb.

static attachment, a diode, preserving vitality's spiral

it's viral. matchstick madness & a gallon of nitro,

they've sacrificed so many for a taxable statement



Power of sound (unfinished)


it started with a flash, clanking metal & screams

i was born. ripping mother's sub-intestinal seams,

she died, vagina gushing, such an exceptional scene

cuz as she entered vegetation .. i just steadily beamed.

they never believed that i would make it - a bleeding display,

of life & death. rejuvenation, i'm the seed of decay.

strange aura, making nurses twitch, what i'm meaning to say 

is that i'm the One who gave the priests a reason to pray.


They call me sociopath. Devil, soul of a demon astray,

life is black / white. my powers are a sequence of gray

i can move things, maneuver in unbelievable ways

configure tidal shifts, whirlpools and regional waves

but my secret is caged - nobody could possibly know,

i'm just another orphan, here to foster a home.

when my new parents picked me up, they called me their own

and for 18 years, i lived a "good seed" life, so properly sowed

a housewife, father played the perfect post-doctorate role

soon i was valedictorian, then Ivy league college enrolled

keeping quiet, simply a civil, half-anonymous clone

all the while, this energy filled it's bottomless hole ..

throbbing below, soul pulsing, the buzzing of flesh

steel wool skeleton, letting pins & needles puncture the mesh

it was building - til i saw her. 

.. pausing to re-button her dress,

& from that moment on, my consciousness was fucking possessed.

angel-face who conjures sinful thoughts with succulent breasts,

i HAD to speak to you. leave you flustered, impressed,

heart fluttering, blessed, wondering what's coming up next

but i stood, frozen solid. muttering under my breath ..

i hungered for sex - never had a lady-friend to touch or caress

to overpower, bust eruptions on a voluptuous chest

i wasn't impressed by all these other feminine floozies,

carbon copies of a character projected in movies ..

she was unique. a single snowflake, whether weather was moody

or content. sunshine wrestling her delicate beauty ,

into sweat. glistens gorgeously, electric, unruly

mortality's mask - love's a stage, eccentric kabuki

this energy fuels me. harnessed for pursuing a target,

for months, i watched, but never moved - like viewing apartments,

never knew when it started. stalking locations, writing 'em down

i knew her favorite spot - a jazz bar, other side of the town

happened to stop by one night as i was riding around,

became entranced at it's entrance .. by this indescribable sound

it was a melancholy melody. the smile of a clown,

tyrannical, corrupted kings unrightfully crowned ;

saw her white linen gown. took a breath, and walked in the door -

what i saw dropped my plasma-coated heart to the floor.



Right to Left.


i dreamt of a place. an oasis, safe haven for infallible grace

one single spectra of a sunny ray inhabiting space,

astral masterpiece, star-shine constellating magical tastes -

tongue hairs tingle every single time my stereo shakes,

when i took pencils to pad to give examples of fate

a landscape inside this private planet sat in the page,

free particles beneath a field of magnets enslaved

to do the dirty work for movement that's abandoned it's waves

it was gorgeous. peace-pipes burning their compassionate flames

now i'm trapped inside this plastic box. a mannequin's grave,

this sadness is strange - i remember such a happier time,

but it's like, that last reflective glimmer after the shine ..

in the back of my mind. a gradience, a shallow decline

fished for compliments, then died the second that i casted a line

just imagine: you're flying through cement in the wall

and found God. travelled wrinkles ever etched in his palm

then it's black & white. grayscale, you unexpectedly fall

into Hell. the anti-climax of a Heavenly dawn,

from oceanic bubble-beams, a temple in song,

to solid mortar masking iridescent facades

mental barrage. it's dim in here. i'm grasping for straws

it's amazing what intoxicated accidents cause.


it's amazing, fucking terrifying. too surreal to accept

locked down to solid ground - cerebral arrest

i once remembered life as beautiful. completely obsessed

with color, art, imagination, theory & sex

but as consciousness returned, i started feeling depressed

a world full of purpose turned to meaningless death.

i was steering to the left .. right-brained, mind wandering fast

deafening crash. broken glass, beeping clock in the dash

i'm at a hospital, strapped. feeling sedated and stupid

working my way through a state of rehabilitated confusion ..

it's like - logic overtook all my creative illusions,

no longer capturing that magic of a stereo's music

taste the sounds or hear the textures so inherent to movement,

now its tangible. straight-arrow, architectural blueprints


they said i dreamt of a place. so colorful, esoteric & lucid

but it was all a dream. brand it imaginary, or prove it.

creation is useless. formulas, conversions, progression

bleeding hearts waste their time on arts' worthless invention

i'm dreaming less. asking no proverbial questions,

life is lucrative. graduated honor roll with perfect attendance

kid and wife. human lust will never merge with affection,

there's no uncertainty. it's black and white, my personal preference


but sometimes, when i stop -

put my ear to the curb for a second,

i hear water running left to right in certain directions ..





dream big.


Stream of consequence.


there was a moment. i thought i had something to write,

but it flashed before my eyes like a government light

until it dimmed. then.. nothing, i'm wondering why

it's so easy to be shoved to the side.

all this alpha-beta rhetoric is just a design,

a trick of the mind. categories are just something we find

so useful. we use them to discredit and verify,

as weapons to terrify, segregate, infectious as parasites

insects, this crowded colony - impatient, yet paralyzed

we put ourselves inside a box. ancestry's conventional paradigm

mechanized, we're warlords in a battle with pride

fighting for another sunrise, wearing glasses to blind

reactions, automatic, blinking static, rewind

replay that part near the start. reflect on happier times,

i'm too sappy when i rhyme. is that a strength or a weakness?

feeling painfully facetious, vain, shameful, prestigious

so honored to discover such a haven for demons

and to that place, blessed saving grace, I swear an allegiance

half naked collegiate, graduated into bags & balloons

brown powder, cloudy crystals, sheeted acid cocoons

trapped, blood vessels pounding into passionate grooves

skeletal melody - mashing metal rhythmic ballads and blues

saxophone tunes, harp strings haunted by angelic mirages

music to my ears. like pistols to the head of a hostage.

selected your option. fight or flight. pay your relative's homage

cause they've always held you down. through genetical bondage

so trample through the thunder in your yellow galoshes,

turn a puddle's imperfections to impressive collages,

it's depressive, psychometric, questions written to analyze

discriminate, standardize, initiate, catalyze.. categorize

because the stream is too shallow for a paddle to rise

but consciousness is depth. let's let the shallow decide ..



Shere Khan (unfinished)


yo


predator-like, majestic creature. statue-esque in the light,

Gorgeous beast. wise fool inside an intellectual plight

instinctual, so tempted to fight. Sentenced to life

beneath a golden crown. History books he was expected to write

Prideful prisoner, knighted Kingdom in this forested ground

to rule with iron in his fists & a roar in his mouth

Adoration of crowds. That fear he struck in monstrous beasts

Feeling Godly, feasting on hippopotamus meat

cubs and queen in a huddle atop their rocky retreat

as Tropical breeze seduced the Nile, flowing provocatively

gentle scents, drifting slowly from the opposite peak

made him stop. shift his gaze. growl softly to speak,

tell his circle it was time. Fur matted, brush off his physique

but warrior blood clots when bottled by a logical leash.

hypnotic, elitists hoards took their place in the chain

hunger leaked, like black magic he could taste in his fangs

sunrise fading to day - at noon, within progressive humidity

the reigning royal guardian defends his nobility.

claws bared, sharpened to the edge of a guillotine 

yet .. inside he fears his legend overshadows his ability.

incessantly shivering. though temperatures are soaring above

he gives a roar. but it feels unnatural & coarse in his lungs

skin peels to crack his coat beneath this poisonous sun

while winds whistle fatal melodies our warrior's sung,

forest fortress, a slum village where death is a cycle

the strongest survive, processing natural selection is vital

the veteran, disciple.


Necrographia


Buried up to your neck in necromantic connection,

a necrophiliac's wet dream, bedsheets maggot infested

shallow, sandy depression, mecha-Necropolis, roses

laid next to your necklace as the sarcophagus closes ..

comet explosions executed lizards in spaceships,

so clearly transmitted in hieroglyphic arrangements.

crypts in the basement, limestone, room-temperature morgue

Unlike anything that you've imagined ever before ;

Ink-blots of thick, dried decay cake a desolate floor

contrasting puffy white fungus clouds caressing the door

like a fresh watercolor, still too wet to absorb

crimson drips down every wall in late impressionist form.

fallen temple for corpses, where a destiny's born

praised as God-body passengers on Heavenly tours.

Adding desert to storm, plus a sense of abandonment -

Pharaoh burials with arrowheads, incenses & candlesticks ..

Ra, the negligent pacifist, succumbing to His shadowy sickness,

they built this valley in pitch darkness during random eclipses,

the birth of something dead .. a stark abstraction, but vivid

where Truth is unveiled by cloak-n-dagger magic assistants,

sewer rats in wooden traps, mouths foaming, rabid afflictions

Pearly thrones beyond a gate for those who travel the distance ..

is it Random, Grey, or Purpose ticketing Tragedy's visits?

for some, sweet relief - others, the saddest decision ;

Alas, it was written. Cumulus created notes in the clouds

as those deific souls present copied most of it down.

all they missed was lost forever .. now it may only be found 

by those cancer-stricken, lynched, smothered, broken or drowned ,

the Enlightened, Karma-driven, faithful, hopeful, the proud

Belief is physically the only & only motionless sound.

Belief is but a cycle, spinning slowly around -

Illuminating the crease in Ka's emotional frown ..

words Holy as Tao, but these explanations fail to deliver,

as streams of conscious capsize every boat that sails in it's rivers -

answers to questions equal cross & nails to a sinner,

like written images for death are drops of hail in a blizzard.

The scales of a lizard, ascending walls in a diagonal groove

Once a palace, now a sacrifice to camera crews ..

embalmed in deafened screams, The End, where actuality rules,

Another tomb inside this Valley of Kings, Valley of fools.


1



_________________________________________________________________________

2011

_________________________________________________________________________



I gave you fire.


body plastic, the source of anger, sadness, remorse

illumination pays the price for all the callouses, sores

leather hands to absorb my automatic flashes of warmth,

rainy days, gutter dripping down an alley or porch

a bastard of sorts, no relative, just clones and impostors

without a story left to reinvent the ghosts of our fathers

ignorant, silent types.. all hotheads, all socially awkward

in this filthy market, equal parts of roaches & robbers..

the motions are somber - couple words, a fistful of dollars

only there to light a fuse or lift at a concert;

taken from the cardboard cage, this prison of commerce

to give fire - subject of many a magnificent proverb.

but how was i to know, we were imprisoned regardless

forced to make the cannon blast and finish it's target,

forced to make the crystal glow until your kid is retarded,

camel cherry bleeding blue, behind the lips of an artist.

it can never be aborted once our mission has started

until our fluid is diminished and we sit in the garbage.

to the victims of arson, i can't apologize, don't expect a reaction

a tool used by hands, controlled by mind's menacing actions.

chemical splashes, anarchic molotovs are seeking a change

dynamite misfires leaving mine workers leaking their brains..

demons and angels swirling in my mechanical head

9 birthday candles, tommy surrounded by his family & friends

passionate beds, incense intensifying sexual pleasure

the first valentine's day they've had to spend it together,

wet in the weather, i've dried to spark up the cess

i've seen countless side tables, jacket pockets n' desks

in every possible way, i only want to impress

light that last Black Cat, though we're soggy & drenched

many coffins, pinewood shining, watching them rest,

then seen a seance taking place as the audience wept..

often at death, i'm present as a diligent visitor

saw courtney love shoot kurt and try to mimic his signature,

but i also aid survival for those frigid in winter blurs,

granting freedom from the elements; all living are prisoners.

the liquid inhibitor, source of heat, a lighter and wick

life's story breathes adventure through the eyes of a Bic.

so next time you raise that flame, gettin high with a spliff

know that you could see the world inside the eyes of a Bic.


now put your lighters up.


1

Don't stop the music.


notes, intricately placed to motion a symphony

instrumental dissertations boasting vocal epiphanies 

composing so brilliantly, this spotlights' smoky consistency

lead me to believe i've seen the ghost of a middle C.

cloaked visibility - the utter magic of sound,

thrusting eternal sunshine from those shadowy clouds;

we danced the night away, spinning ever faster around

on a balcony, overlooking half of our town ..

you wept inside my arms, recanting tragedies, downs,

but i brought you up 'til we forgot about the grass on the ground.

stripped away the satin lace that sat in your gown,

and we moved until the music had us practically drowned.

yet it was vastly profound how once the melody died,

the devil showed his face inside your heavenly eyes

your shoulder turned colder as you'd heavily sigh

say a few good words, & then an apathetic goodbye..

the only moment when our "we" was ever separate from "I",

cause only portions of your heart n' soul could ever be mine.


the presence of Chopin, Van Beethoven or Bach

determined whether bathroom doors were open or locked.

whether lonely or not, whether temps were pleasant or hot

and whether frantic phone calls were accepted or blocked.

whether classical, pop, heavy metal or rock -

you'd pulsate to the tempo in an elegant shock,

FM static was your answer to affectionate knocks,

planted seeds until your sheriff had my deputy shot.

fretting the dots, vibrating waves, molecular frequencies

but headphones kept those experiences nestled in secrecy.

subliminal meanings overcasting ethical decency,

since one can just, adjust a treble level so easily ……

regretting that recently, i've been feeling silent as mutes

little birds chirping snow white songs & tying a noose,

we met beneath the sound of music; violently fused

then torn apart by it's beauty - i guess that "irony" suits.

the vibrancy, tunes that change our paths & perspectives

alters perception, all to rearrange synaptic connections,

trapped in a second - unable to accept our destruction

but you simply kept it moving to a steady percussion..


now, all i have is memories and unlimited space

your existence erased, leaving town without a smidgeon or trace

a record player, wood grained inside it's original case

while i listen to our relationship, spinning in place ..

addicted to tapes, mp3's and epic performances

another roadie for another band that endlessly voyages,

the second a tour begins, i'm uncomfortable, dearest..

it's hard to be a human who's in love with a spirit

we grew on bass, crescendoing percussion & lyrics

and the music never stops..


even if i'm the only one who can hear it.



Technical Difficulties


yea -


it's been a couple of weeks since i've been stuck in these sheets -

foraging in dusty cupboards, seeking something to eat 

wandering on fleshy mountains to discover the peak

letters ranging from "A" all the way up to a "D" ;

F's are rare - NOT grades on homework that wasn't complete,

but lady lumps upon this gorgeous vixens luscious physique..

carnivorous pursuit, a lioness hungry for meat

but she won't devour a bite, only suck it for skeet.

she suddenly leaks, writhing in her pleasure & pain

minimized so i can answer someone's message on AIM

metal weapons, bloody rope, black leather & chains

another sign of the times in one degenerate's brain..


inside this wretched room for twenty-two incredible days

the thought of human contact makes me ever ashamed.

so i sit and fantasize about these elegant dames,

there's no need to cuddle, take them out, remember their names..

better than fame, flashing lights and currency rolls

cause all of that is only fueling two impervious goals -

bust nuts inside a pretty bitch and purchase a home,

in which to kick her out after you've nourished her holes.

herb in the bowl, crack in plastic spoons and liquor in cups

once i come down, nobody's pickin me up

running through these archives of infinity sluts,

even though my jogging pants are sticky as fuck..

lost count around sixty, kept on ringing 'em up

when it comes to porn, just call me addictions R' us.

but on the twenty third day - something hindered my luck

it wouldn't move, no feeling, i was impotent, FUCK.

choked the chicken too much -- that was clearly the reason

my dick was now limper than a paraplegic.


i guess i gotta go outside to visit the hospital

with my doors boarded shut, this is a bit of an obstacle..



it's optional to live your life locked in a room,

loving all these actors with phenomenal boobs

all-digital - this privilege is often abused,

so go find a real girl with a blossoming poon,

eat it out, beat it, make her swallow it, too..

and before it's too late, put down that bottle of lube.



"Too bad there isn't a topic about a jerkoff marathon."

- Oatmeal.


1


“Untitled”


there's no metaphor for life & death, expression to tell

the scent of red roses dipped in skeletal cells,

all strove to reach nirvana, yet most settled for Hell.

cause when it ends, it all depends on which direction you fell ;

the barrier between them is a delicate shell,

that once was molten metal with impeccable weld.

leathery belts around Orion's chemical waist -

those nuclear plants in his garden have a vegetable taste ..

the apple in his serpents' mouth is venom encased,

testing your faith the second seeds were set into place.

ready to chase a dream without a minute of sleep,

nerve endings, raw energy, hair, liquid & meat ..

dripping down the fleshy bark of sycamore branches

into flames, embers illuminating minotaur dances.

a little more madness, packaged with it's postage attached -

death is white light in a universe supposedly black.

closing the gaps that pangaea ordered globally mapped,

while womb regurgitating fetuses re-open the cracks.


sacred groves, a meadow down the loneliest path

full of sweet and gentle sorrow that Utopia lacks.

melodious tracks whisper maple leaves through syrupy drips,

falling softly through the fingers of a Cherokee prince,

as he wearily sits in a ring of fire awaiting mirages,

watching that serpent shed another coat of scaly deposits,

paying his homage to the oxygen our galaxy breathes

everything blurs into a single shape - an apple, pristine;

beaming in the afterglow that Adam received

but mortal greed forced belief that he just had to convene,

so as the serpent carried light within its' shadowy gleam

he followed, climbing towards the highest branch of the tree -

heard an angel's chorus, voices shattering dreams

overtones of golden honey and immaculate green,


his canopy leans, body melts away, a colorful mess

transcending earth's nirvana by destruction of flesh.

this metaphor for life is truly one of the best -

as it also encapsulates a suffering death.


that balance - so beautiful in tragedy's eyes

blood must sink within the soil for an apple to rise..


http://i54.tinypic.com/3130lti.png


1



Disconnected


I keep calling your name, as desperation ensues

set to snap apart like cables made to carry it through,

voice is beautiful - starry views, mediterranean cruise,

organic orchestras, organs and bavarian flutes ;

feeling whipped, call me toby and compare it to roots

hit you up,

ready to get it poppin' like i'm tearing balloons -

and it blew up in my face, an overdue paraffin fuse

once loved this plastic earpiece i'm embarrassed to use.

offered everything i had.. you fucking DARED to refuse,

now i'm coming - cause i won't simply grin, bare it & lose

lose you, lose connection that i cherished, for you.

although the net worth of our conversation barely accrues ..

fading to blue, your emotions growing harder to read

since every color on the vocal spectrum started to bleed,

began as mister nice guy, mister softer-than-breeze ;

now i'm the 3-headed monster Artemis fought in her dreams..

i could hardly believe the way that you were talking to me,

it's a 2-way street - what made you think this offer was free?

you still silence sincerely when i honestly speak,

cause mediocrity was calling and you bought it for cheap.

so what you want is from me, next to Godliness, please

just listen for a little longer, caught in your seat.


fuck


i'm not crazy. just a little tired of speaking to static,

and rejection tends to lead me to immediate panic.

focused on our conversation, speeding in traffic

on my way to the office, cubic seating entrapment,

but our talks will continues, cause i need your attachment,

or attraction, like commercials stuck in media magnets.

but it's deeper than that, we're competing for status

a telemarketer's dream: lonely housewives, reeking of sadness.


you're feeling the passion i possess; for you, but mostly for cash

accumulating with the items that i sold in a flash.

i require your love, so i embody an emotional stance,

to push another rotary, rosary or piece of hosiery past..

so despite how much my promises are overly-taxed,

please - don't disconnect,

just keep that phone in your grasp.


listen closely.


1


A Letter, Unspoken


To My Darling,


I wanna talk to you -- tell you all that i know,

knowledge from a father for his daughter to grow.

hoping something i can say to you will soften the blow

when you first crash and burn - and you'll fall into snow.

feels like i'm walking alone, while you're holding my hand

as the source of all knowledge, i'm not only your dad,

i'm your soldier, a man who stands beside you at all times

the doctor who revives you when the life in your heart dies,

tells you to take your vitamins in spite of your soft cries,

responsibility for your survival is all mine.


i wanna tell you i love you so it's audible, dear

so my voice warms the waxy mess that's caught in your ear

every week i clean it out until it's polished & clear

and wipe your cheek of any possible deposit that smeared

i'll be next to you for every single cough, i'm sincere

making sure the hospital's best doctor is near.

do my best to vanquish all the monsters you hear

and use my best shirt to mop of all of your tears.

my job is to steer you in the direction of happiness

for the short remainder of my respectable transience -

successful, a pacifist - believe in hope and respect

because you come from the womb of an emotional wreck,

your mother loved you dearly, but life drove her to death

i never wanted you to see her with that rope on her neck..

so it's me & you against the world, we'll cope with this mess

even when you're feeling low, baby, know you're the best.

i'm writing you this letter, my unspoken attempt

to exclaim how much you mean .. 

although your father's hopelessly deaf.


i wanna talk to you -- share my perspective and guidance

tell you everything i know .. but i'm destined for silence.


http://i52.tinypic.com/w2kq9z.png



Buying Time.


We're on a short, almost miniscule road to perdition,

but we've been gifted with intelligence, hope, and a vision

to wear out our welcome in this lonely existence

and there's only so much our bodies owe to nutrition.

science and humanity -- a potent collision,

even if atoms in a test tube is your only religion.

listen - each passing years another ode to physicians,

who remastered nature's order when they wrote the prescription.

ibuprofen, omission of reality's pain,

another capsule to pop for every calorie gained.

no limits to the fantasies these tablets contain,

powder-white ropes that keep our cancer restrained.

sat on the plane, anxious, champagne poured in a cup

as if the tension in this shuttle wasn't horrid enough..

the door to our cores is nailed, forcibly shut,

bleeding through the hinges, we're ignoring the cut.

horrible stuff, we can't pronounce the chemical titles

once a race of hunter-gatherers, all bred for survival

then intellectual pursuit began to enter the cycle,

now medicine and destiny will forever be rivals.

synthetic revival - death is evolution's means to an end,

time is off the essence, meds - a means to extend

lives that should be over, folks, read it again.

it's only natural for these diseases to spread.

while we lengthen average lifespan, we're depleting the trend

of rejuvenation, freedom that's decreed for the dead.

i don't need to pretend. i welcome coffins and wakes,

cause overpopulation is the biggest problem we face.

resources, food and energy, the water in lakes,

not enough to sustain these people dodging their fates.

wallets and safes, opened in hopes of staying afloat,

buying time - in exchange for the human race as a whole..


each passing years another ode to physicians,

who remastered nature's order when they wrote the prescription.


http://i54.tinypic.com/n19su8.png



Spread my Wings.



Calm skies, blue horizons, not a cumulus cloud

yet growth's a raging, rolling storm, thunder booming so loud

one could set another hemisphere askew, it's profound -

cause the flutter of a butterfly's a beautiful sound.

as long as there's not a single human around;

not allowed to witness magic, vision's 'view' is a shroud,

one can never live in silence after music is found -

wings stagnant at your sides, nikes glued to the ground..

rooted, and drowned inside a shell of doubtful delay

leave the molehills at home & climb a mountain today.

only looking into floorboards once you're bowing to pray,

it takes an upward perspective to light His power aflame ;

some attempt illumination, lighting sour n' haze,

though mary can't ascend the tower that's been housing his gaze.

it might snatch you from reality, devour your rage,

make it easier to slave for an hourly wage ..

but devout is the face that watches doves designing their flock,

tracing out those jagged cracks, granting lighting it's shock -

hell draws near with every moment that your eyeing the clock,

cause noah didn't save humanity while tied to a dock.

time is a knot, unraveling in linear fashion -

until the rope is left, hanging from the lid of your casket

so fly, fly away - higher than infinity's planets,

spread your wings, chase your dreams, exhibit your passion.

if you really imagined, listening to every miracles' whisper

even the grayest days can be transitioned til they're clearer than crystal.


Calm skies, blue horizons, not a cumulus cloud

yet growth's a raging, rolling storm, thunder booming so loud

one could set another hemisphere askew, it's profound -

cause the flutter of a butterfly's a beautiful sound.


http://i52.tinypic.com/24w4rv5.png


1


Withered Hope.



each discouraging obstacle. every fork in the road,

life is never 'just right' - this bowl of porridge is cold.

or warmer than coal, embers blaze until it tortures the soul

but we can freeze frames, beat the heat & force it to snow.



Lily pad fantasies, frog kisses, stranger than fiction

castle gates, princesses, transylvanian diction

dragon-smoke emanates from those caucasian n' christian,

encouraging the village fools to play their position.

if you're living in the world today -- state your addiction.

distracting your phase of this mission. now make the decision -

fall prey to perdition - or fall and pray to religion,

either way it's a ticket to aimless, painful afflictions.

is it safest to listen to that voice in your head?

or play deaf, dumb and dead to bleeding poison instead?

the choices to bend a molecule, neurotransmission direction

are surefire methods to exist in the present.

denial is a firewall that encrypts our depression,

but conversation starts establishing a distant connection.

optimism, positivity's most physical penchant

to follow hope is cashing in on human's richest investment.


My mother told me life's a forest, grow & witness perfection

but once you stop planting seeds, it could wither in seconds.

we limit progression by succumbing to hatred,

in these artificial times, almost nothing is sacred.

a skylight remains shut tight if you're stuck in the basement,

underground, we're urban youths of a struggling nation

sulfur smothering, wasted space, empty as shells

a public service announcement resentment sent me to tell.

sent directly to hell, are those who fill the epicenters of crowds

My mother always said to keep my head in the clouds.

we play hide & seek as children 'til our destiny's found,

then get high til gravity exerts it's pressure to ground.

the spirit's testing me now. this mighty tree's withering length

was supported at the roots by a pillar of strength.

bark brittle, it breaks along the cracks in it's trunk

feels like a playoff debut, but i haven't practiced enough

too busy breaking free of mental chains, these shackles & cuffs

My mother always made the perfect turkey sandwich for lunch..

but now i'm packing it up, a brown bag full of remorse

sealed shut with a vision of her beautiful corpse ..


her name was Hope.


a gift from parents not prepared for the storm,

both great depression victims - unmarried & poor 

buried before her teenage years, an orphan who writes

about the pain she experienced in this forest of life.

and passed her son these letters, which supported his fight -

I learned from these papers that i've hoarded at night.

heartsore as I types these words she's written for ages;

her only child, absorbing knowledge from these withering pages.


Hope is more than a prayer, more than Heaven's decree

and Hope was more than her name .. it was her parting message for me.




I will always love you.


Zombie.


http://i55.tinypic.com/33besuw.png


worm-ridden rotten wood-panel carpeted shack,

rusty nails, sharper than tacs - calloused feet scarring & scratched

chipped paint, mildew stains, plaster, parted with cracks

from twitching claws inside these thinning walls - an army of rats,

follow the tracks .. skeleton key for gates, partially black

it's red, rusted underbelly, vomiting gnats -

coughing in hacks, smokes and coffee, filtered water and tar

ashtrays, empty bottles, stumbled walks to the bar..

from an outsider's perspective, it appears awful bizarre,

to see a zombie in a business suit and company car.

even swampland is gone - now it's a pit of powdery ash

lost prescriptions for xanax and a mountain of glass

towers collapse, inhale deep, feel the toxins absorbing

rockin' Gator boots for a night out, and Crocs in the morning.

monsters are swarming, scaly armor, shrieking away

fur caked with breaking scabs, leaking greenish decay;

there's no safe place to lay around & weep in the shade,

cause that smoky sky implies the willow trees are aflame ..

Dawn of the Dead is digitized in every media played,

all your porno flicks are really necrophilia, framed -

satellites, mechanical maggots, slowly eating our brains

just to make sure we stay obedience trained.

lightning storms, then metal rainbows of the steeliest gray

yet before a meal, we still believe in kneeling to pray ..

ingredients: pain, ibuprofen, chemical alchemy,

gold and silver filtered into it to lessen the calories,

everything's manipulated, life's molecular faculties

are compromised in our pursuit for intellectual mastery,

breathing all the oxygen, repossessing reality

looking dead as presidents inside the Kennedy family.

wretched insanity, open sores, spreading disease

body temperature in fahrenheit is seven degrees,

scene's like a gory game we played repetitively,

but everything's so Evil now, it made the Residents leave ..


take a second to breathe, search a term on Wikipedia's site,

see how we're killing ourselves - to live an easier life.


"While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die."

- Leonardo Da Vinci


1


Broomstick Barfly



i will always remember; always try to forget,

the world molding itself around my silent regrets ..


“growing up” is paradoxical - a spiraled descent,

we breathe original sin, and only stay alive to repent.

age five is the best. although we only yearn to mature ,

our clearest years before toxicity, this permanent blur

the surface was pure, guarded from corrupted design,

mountains were never molehills, only something to climb -

before voluptuous dimes. before physicians and lawyers -

now, you're only what your resume convinces employers.

He who fixes the boilers at this hole-in-the-wall,

once studied theology with the Pope in Milan;

you'd see lines that spanned creation if he opened his palm,

a solider of God, entrapped in this custodial bond ..

if you ask an average man, his path was hopelessly flawed

& the road he travelled down in life was totally wrong.


insignificant mutations, wicked, primitive lives

governed solely on survival and instinctual drives -

life is labor, cash rules, passing minutes are time ,

forced to follow the fluorescents in our digital minds.

it's easy money, game shows, grand magnificent prize,

it's collective, individual, political sides;

chicken-scratches on a calendar 'til systems align,

one thought is every human's last decision, combined.

these invisible ties direct the tracks we're driven to ride,

it's only right to sympathize when someone innocent dies.

it's a mystery, thriving on subjective approaches

unravelling that velvet thread of delicate gnosis,

petals of roses echoing synthetic erosions,

portable pendulums promote incessant hypnosis

Armageddon's explosions, born as telescopic displacement

that underwent electric transfer modification.

anxiety-to-mankind operates as doctor-to-patient

tells us when to cry and when to calmly embrace it.

questions locked in a basement, follow blindly, succeed -

answers past the realm of sight .. simply try to believe.


it's right to be free. this fact i'll take to the tomb,

til i'm naked in the blankets of an alien womb ..

i've never been too certain, never safely assumed

that anything is clear beneath these radiant fumes.

if i told you i was born upon the face of the moon,

& you spread the word - it doesn't mean my statement is true!

alas, our visit on this planet is dictated, consumed

by higher powers humming the creationist blues,

and government officials that deflated balloons,

to replace elated hopes & dreams with daily pursuits ..

born conformed into manipulation's labia grooves,

born a God, born a janitor, a slave with a broom.


so happy as he sweeps the floor, this nameless buffoon

while i sit and spend my money in this vacant saloon.

wondering why none of it is making me swoon,

still sober as a judge, still fucking angry at YOU.

you raised me to do whatever others requested,

just cover all our assets so the budget's protected.

all grown up now - a wealthy, walking lump of depression ,

one is only what his parents did to punish aggression.

subtle repression, memories that mirror it perfectly -

my life is merely a reflection of my fear of uncertainty.

each year, for eternity, i'd watch this janitor mop

knowing right or wrong is nowhere close to happy or not.


"It's only in uncertainty that we're naked and alive."

- Peter Gabriel


WAR


http://www.smashingapps.com/wp-conte...design-art.jpg


What is it good for?


To shape a civilization - man vs. wild, the industrial

turkey in a perfect little pile in your lunchable,

highly combustable, clouds that narrow a windpipe

soliders fight in tuxedos lined with heroin pinstripes -

the American midnight - Rocket power, Reggie in dimebags

Squids washed upon the riverbanks for chemical finance,

intersectional bypass - blacktop, paint in a dotted line

directs whiplashing cars filled with slaves to the dollar sign -

we placed a trojan horse inside the basement of columbine,

watched a murder crawl out and framed hatred for homicide.

but hatred is authorized .. it's a volatile weapon,

always changing it's structure, endless model selection:

there's hostile aggression, bitterness, shame & regret ,

isolation, neglect; or double barrel aimed at your neck -

racism, tension, pent-up rage is repressed,

and we wonder why the Middle East invaded the West ..

Major, Lieutenant, Sargent, Captain, or King

puppets captured in a web, the Black tarantula's string -

the Sopranos will sing an ode to mafia ties,

notes bloodthirsty enough to cause Gaddafi to rise.

while our audience cries, it's time for curtains to fall

9/11 was the first and last emergency call..

begging God to grant serenity and mercy to all -

alas, Berlin is not the only great, impervious wall.

Our purpose is scrawled in constellational patterns,

so fortune telling is the only occupation that matters..

that tug-of-war that comes with conversational chatter,

is what keeps the better part of populations in taverns.

conservation, disaster - mirrored shadows on a carpeted floor

war is art, art is beauty, beauty started the war.

Death departed the morgue in search of Heavenly bliss,

became a Livestrong band around Destiny's wrist.

Marine Corpses camouflaged behind intestinal rips,

signed their souls to the Devil & He let 'em enlist.

while physicists are on a mission for dimensional shifts,

we fight to capture back those precious seconds we missed..

the future's bright, the past is glorified, the present's a bitch -

in this war, the draft's a process we could never resist.


take a second to listen - this aint an anthem for peace,

broken eggs can make an omelet, Death can fashion a feast.

Food for thought - war is more than troops attacking in fleets,

cuz there's a battle beneath the North Face logo stamped to your fleece.

we've mobilized an army of compassionate beasts,

expressing hatred for their enemies with passive beliefs.

the chasm is deep - our cycle seems deliciously wretched,

sometimes ethics & survival hold a different perspective.


it's pitiful trenches, dinner selections, first-string vs. secondaries

WAR - they ask what is it good for?

and I answer: absolutely .. necessary.



“We make war that we may live in peace.”

- Aristotle



Gravity (incomplete)

you let me down.


tired of disappointment, promises broken at will

the foundation is shattered - at this point, it's hopeless to build

but i feel so intact when i'm holding you still..

that it gets harder and harder to climb over this hill.

this hole that i filled with empty, fictional fantasies

then your cold stare reminds me that it isn't reality.

all i ever showed was love and you exhibited apathy

you always let me down, our relationships' the definition of gravity..

hinted it passively, scared to seem too jealous or angry

but my body's fucking useless if you never embrace me.

nestled in safety - you were my guardian angel

but our lifelines got snipped once they started to tangle

i miss your hair and eyes, shades of auburn and hazel

tried to erase the memories, i'm only partially able..

without these precious moments all my thoughts are disabled,

you bet on another - & i'm the horse still caught in the stable..

toss me a label.. emo, heartbroken, foolish in love

my last month taught me lots about who you can trust.

cuz even the girl that hugged you under blankets and laughed,

could easily be just another snake in the grass.

three years i spent, caring for your painful attacks

you paid me back with hatred and a face fulla cracks..



_________________________________________________________________________

2010

_________________________________________________________________________



Planet of the ape.

deserted, abandoned .. 

all alone in this world where we landed,

so we sit upon the surface of our personal planet,

bathed in the waters that once circled Atlantic,

this was really but a pitstop while we searched the galactic

through the universe, movin, fueled by nuclear fusion

brought gas masks to guard against the fumes of pollution.

the truth about humans .. they ruined civilization,

maybe the next species here will respect His creation.

…my parter and I were left by the rest, still pondering why

about to snatch the last airline flight right outta the sky..

buildings tottering high, pried some out & placed 'em within a globe

whole city-scape encased so i could shake it and make it snow!

but it's been a few hours since we came for a visit

promised they'd be back .. but that could break in a minute,

he asks "will they come to get us"?

"i don't know" .. then a pause.

old burns peel open as the sun slowly revolves

it will turn, turn again til supernova befalls

these people won't survive without their closest of stars

deserted, abandoned on our personal planet

feel like we'll always be alone in this world where we landed ..



Midnight sunrise.


http://blog.nola.com/dailyphoto/2008...ge_sunrise.JPG


Arise, O bright & beautiful, above the horizon

a gentle warmth, before you're hot enough to be blindin' 

I can gaze at the haze in silent amazement

while i'm comforted and held by your vibrant embraces.

you shine with a power that could light any basement,

see the waters change color as you rise up adjacent.

rosy cheeks blushing fiery since you guided the ancients,

watch you sleep when you're tired - my night is the blanket ..

.. even though we're separated, our alignment is sacred

cuz every time i own the sky, you surprise me & take it!

Darkness drops slowly, you then return to the west

re-emerge, i must depart before you burn me to death ……

I hope you got the letter I gave Hermes to send

cause it's my solitary wish that this eternally ends.

and if you agree, we'll finally merge in descent

leave this lonely earth to meet it's permanent rest.

I've loved you too long to let this burn in my chest

I hope i don't have to make this plea turn into a threat,

because you could kill me, but the planet will go dim

and eventually collapse, cuz you can't handle the whole thing!

you'll wander for a purpose through this infinite space

til that flame is extinguished as time wrinkles your face.

apocalypse is our fate, they say that us together's a curse ..

but don't it beat a world without the true respect you deserve?

we can't exist without eachother, our spirits would unwind

so won't you let us become one .. as a midnight sunrise?


"Man of a thousand faces"


iAm ..


The property lender, silk stitch sewn on ya novelty sweater

the deadliest scorpion beneath a rock in the desert -

every mafia member, lawyer defending hostile offenders

shifting toxic december wintertimes to tropical weather,

I've committed acts only chosen prophets remember

got the happy pill, controlling the economy's temper.

reason profits are never what the workers have earned

made sure the graphs of our affluence stay perfectly curved.

My service is worth the liberty i promised the people,

started world wars with symbols placed atop the cathedrals -

Imprisoned god and kept his essence padlocked in a steeple

then unleashed nuclear fumes that made your oxygen lethal.

The greatest story ever told is false, masonic and evil -

I wrote the whole thing with sixty - six ink blots & a needle!

.. None may be equal.

Spawned some bald eagles in the stars where the doves soar

I've sported every face that Borglum carved into Rushmore.

I'm static chatter in the background at the bar or the drug store,

every crooked politician, plus the party they run for,

the parties who fund wars - year round it's terrorist season

I'm the grenade that made your grandfather a paraplegic. 

You ask what's really real, how far the barrier reaches ..

Morpheus said it best, check .. 

“You think that's air that you're breathin?”

This the Narrator speakin - most truthful of liars

Atom architect, sole brick layer and blueprint designer!

Supervisor of your rituals, monotonous lifestyle

I'm deep within your veins .. and I'm watching you right now.


1


Life is a motion picture.


open your eyes. 


light reflects, the solar aligns .. 

transmitted signals float to your mind, frozen in time

its like polaroid slides in motion, perfect photo design -

objects are formed by frequencies that voltage refined,

sparks connective lines, charged chemicals flowin inside

those that defied were manufactured broken & blind,

don't you really wanna know where you go when you die?

well, i should tell you - just hope it don't provoke suicide ..

the greatest show is your lives -

.. skull cam captures vision magically,

on a wide-screen stretched across the fabric of reality. 

inhabiting a fallacy - your body was a harvested seed

in a computer game we're playing called 'The Garden of Eve'

My name is Adam Eden from Andromeda 3

Here's the truth, look beyond all logic, knowledge & read ……


.. started small, with a being that spawned multiple breeds

watched our creation start expanding at phenomenal speed

plugged a light source, the largest star we conceived

then put it all in rotation like we're sparkin' the weed! (ha..)

Ancients praised this light as holy, called it God & believed

it was their Father and it carved their world in almost a week,

created language, wrote a book observing astrological themes

then based their life on what it said - see how retarded it seems?

water & breeze are some prototypes belonging to me,

Every cell body, every breath - it's all a machine.

A marketing scheme only revealed when falling asleep

because it's all an extension of what you're calling a dream.

plotted clocks in between - placed the past before the present,

while the future's usually been determined by natural selection.

the patterns are protested .. only facts are your possessions 

all claim to be greatest, none can travel through dimensions ……

fuck practicing discretion .. man's history is bytes in a system

He who feels disconnected holds the highest of wisdom,

physical frames a vehicle, and inside is the victim

that only holds its own perspective as to why it's imprisoned.

life's biorhythms are emitted, simply blips within a monitor

atmospheric attributes upon our digital thermometer

earthly experience is electric, you exist as an android

have you thought about your five senses from a physical standpoint?

it's chemical reactions caused by electrical spasms

allows your heart to pump juices through each ventricle passage

charges run, instantaneous, toward their mental attachments

& different sections trigger a different sets of senses to happen ……

can you grasp it?


open your eyes.


.. The brains capable of much, it leads a species to spread

coulda left the database alone, but we keep it instead

let the vital information rest, asleep in a bed -

and all the files are transmitted to the meat in your heads.

So quit praying for Heaven or any Jesus descent ..

the true home of your spirit is all you see when your dead.


http://i48.tinypic.com/23vb4ph.png


1


Novus Ordo

{ Year: 2727. }


http://i47.tinypic.com/walxeo.png


Government has been globally centralized.

Every continent is connected through massive inter-coastal highways restricted for Federal import/export,

and the United States of America (now the North American Union) have been reconstructed in the mirrored

historical image of a technologically superior Babylon. 

The majority of humans reside in primal tent cities constructed on the outskirts of desolate rural areas,

now desert wastelands. The world's currency was centralized as well, and is regulated and distributed at will

by a panel of world elite, all residing in this super-city, Novus Ordo (formerly Washington D.C.) -

Controlling the rest of the world through separate, smaller stations located on all other land masses. 


Revolution is .. now.


Follow me -


Lights twinkle in the distance …… I think of the statistics:

How many have died, waving high the symbol of resistance?

.. Sinful politicians were but gears in the system

that gave that All-Seeing Eye the very clearest of vision -

a lifetime of poverty put me in position,

to FIGHT until my DEATH to end this tyranny, witness ………


.. Near the division of city limits, border patrol

knives on their sides to slice a foreigners throat..

plus sniper-sighted lasers in cyborgs with a scope

keep my cover deep as hell cuz i'm horribly close.

Avoiding lights orbiting like some sort of a ghost,

hand keeps a steady grasp upon the sword in my coat ..

kept thinking back to my historical notes ,

a middle class showing their support with a vote ,

when democracy itself was seen as more than a hoax

& many people still believed, one day, the lord would approach … 


“Hey, you!”


stopped short & just FROZE .. All lights flashed to a blaze -

I decided it was time .. so I brandished the blade.

countless crimson lines skim the sky, hazardous rays

Blocked one-by-one; broad-side slashed 'em away

Transition through my lotus battle stances & say -

“The dark cloud you've masterminded passes today.”

Grab wooden spears crafted by an African slave,

and thrust them towards the front line's commanding brigade.

Advancing this way, bullets stream through air in a flow

smackin‘ shells back toward the weapon & their barrels explode,

Face American clones made of fabric, granite & bone

.. Bio-genetically engineered for damage control.

Faster than most, dodgin' the double-edge daggers they throw

glance at the sky, tinted sickly green with acid & smoke

ran to the road, hand to hand combatted when close

ducked twin punches overhead, and started stabbin' em both

Rapidly choked every last guard that tried to resist me

.. looked around, finally - i was inside of the city.


“Past the Gate.”


See the commissioner's fleet, hide within a 6-foot ditch in street

gaze at this urban wasteland paved with man's infinite greed

in the NAU takeover, religion was key

eventually exterminated everyone who didn't believe.

now there isn't a seed of green grass living it seems,

not with those nuclear facilities' cylinders steam..

It occurs that this could all be some ridiculous dream

that thought is quickly shattered with a digital scream:

“SENSORS DETECTING HOSTILE IN SECTOR ONE FIVE

PLEASE CAPTURE AND RETRIEVE INTRUDERS DEAD OR ALIVE”

Men & their wives appear with red in their eyes

now on neighborhood watch in the dead of the night

barcode scanners on apartment rooftops checking their minds

arresting anyone without a chip embedded inside ..

Pleasantly stride, act natural, & move in utter silence

Towards the Black Metal silhouette that looms in the horizon

huge, corrupted titan now commanding the continents

the global source of information, this mechanic metropolis,

Employed a million messengers and branded it politics

We begged for salvation .. and were handed apocalypse.

pass a robotic switch that monitors blood type

this instantly triggered an alarm & a floodlight -

Startled, I run right into the middle of Main Street

Target of every guard within the city became: me.

Try to dip into safety, greeted by a citizen's blade sheath

emptied out, swung south so I pivot & sway east ..

our visit remained brief, I quickly filleted his neck

his bitch wife was next, then the children were laid to rest!

listened as agents crept, 'cuffs lifted, grippin’ a stainless tec

shadow-boxed the moonlight & scissor-kicked to evade arrest ..

someone tell these zombies we don't live in the matrix yet -

A flick of the wrist gave each their imminent, painless death ……

Tactics written in ancient pages of Egyptian & Asian texts,

Extracted from the half decoded symbols for Pagan sects.

since the middle ages, the cradle of civilization slept

Now I'm here to awaken, too late for the wicked to make amends.

near distance, tall gates ascend - the Devil's temple, & his church

Main headquarters for the Emperor of Earth - 

behold, Evil's cornerstone -- The Federal Reserve.


“…Beyond…”


steel doors slide open, marble covered the floors

a plaque upon the wall for every one of their wars

.. the men that faced me, laughing, numbered hundreds or more

straps in every hand, and something suddenly roars -

sailed through space --- next my stomach was torn,

kneel within a bloody heap then plummet to gore ..

Laid there, shaking, they came and lifted me upwards

Said “I'm owed a lot more than your sympathy, fuckers.”

Yet what is this I wonder? They coulda shot me with ease, too ..

One says “His excellency stated he wanted to meet you.”

…… I was dropped in a clean room,

Where a short, silver-suited man gave me a broad smile

“Pleased to meet you”, said he, “My name is Avery Rothschild.”

“I've been watching you since you started planning to enter,

I've got eyes, ears, and voices in the flats of your desert.

made it past the guards, plus cameras & sensors

to arrive at my doorstep, a more than valiant effort.

Your battle skills are mighty .. you're a savage contender,

Showed lightning fast reactions as you battled the sector.

So I'm offering you a spot as my palace protector -

There's an open space in my team .. you'd be a valuable member.”


My family came to mind : the hand we were dealt

lacking medication funds for their cancerous health..

once i nodded my head, my soul was banished to Hell

but at least I was revitalized and bandaged up well

See, revolution can't begin until the masses will help

Greed's an icy wall a single fire will never manage to melt

so if you had to choose between famine or wealth

you, too, might realize, in the end ……


It's every man for himself.


Truly.


1

In Her Eyes


http://i45.tinypic.com/6pq7gn.png


Rain water droplets, dimples of shimmering dew,

across a sun - streaked meadow in the mid afternoon,

stare at barren blue skies as we lie in the grasses;

turns to night once the Revlon is applied to her lashes..

sensed attraction, our minds were separate sides of the magnet -

yet something wasn't right behind her eyes .. & i couldn't grasp it.

silent and tragic .. the shadow of a trace of a doubt,

her face a distant apparition, glazed, encased in the clouds

praised the devout, God Body, most angelic creation

heavenly, sacred .. in her gaze I see Giza; vast desert oasis.

never awakened, dream secretly beside her reflection -

.. eyes remain wide, terrified of our tension.

violent oppression - she's witnessed every sign of depression,

but she's the only soul that holds my undivided attention.

but why, is the question .. 

why are clouds crowding her seasons?

she's a puzzle that forever stays in thousands of pieces.

her hands the land that i grant my very proudest allegiance,

.. hidden deep within the caverns of her mouth is a secret.

it just gets harder to reach it .. steps i can barely retrace,

another one-sided conversation as she stares into space ……

made arrangements to quickly get a marriage in place,

wild horses couldn't stop our pace, forsaken chariot race.

blank is her face .. forever frozen in that solemn, stony pose.

her spirit's lost, caught behind the walls of comatose.  I think it's over


your eyes were alive.


spoke symbolic signs, summer skies, shining divine

crafted colorful symphonies in vibrant designs,

you didn't understand, your guiding light was vital to mine.

asked one last time for anything

and I was denied.

that's when it became apparent that inside, you had died.

pulled the plug;

watching a final tear fall, as you silently cried..



February song


it's been a cold winter , love ……



glacial peaks across your brow, frowns form in the snow

eyes are white-washed icy tundra, high: forty below

rigamortis, the cold won't permit endorphins to show,

so extracting a smile feels just like that sword in the stone.

once your aura was rose, radiating warmer than most,

but fire that burned inside subsided, torches were soaked ..

fork in the road - you chose to let apologies smolder,

through all this, I tried to keep my solemn composure,

ignored it when the snow started to fall on my shoulders ..

cause it was hard to accept the fact that autumn was over.

honest, i'm sober .. but your screams are distant as ever

every breath mimics december and it's christmasy weather;

it was frigid, remember? we felt the breeze from atlantis -

you used to warn me every time the seasons would vanish,

when the sun warped the spectrum and leaked in it's axis,

syrup soft colors spread like finger-painted streaks on a canvas ..

then trees were abandoned, leaves enveloped in fear

so they hide, petrified before the end of the year.

dagger-like frostbite when you let me come near,

you've slowly grown too frozen to develop a tear.

now death has appeared .. expect a murder conviction,

i've sunk below the depths .. another hypothermia victim ……


be still, my freezing heart 


icy winds paralyze each one of my lungs,

ready now, to travel forth .. so comfortably numb,

plummet & plunge, the warming flames of hell await, perfect --

.. until a thin column of light shines & melts the lake's surface.


as solid objects thawed, dawn was calling me back;

pangaea land separation as water started to crack.

watched as lush greens resurrected from their wintery tomb

nature sang sweet melodies while symphonies bloomed

flickering hues, distorted shades, blood courses in veins

heaven's flood gates ajar, and gently pouring it's rains

fuck fortune & fame .. i need my blanketed lover

with an angel's sacred ring of sainted safety above her,

laid in the covers .. this winter's chill was abrasive --

documented pain of our division could fill millions of pages,

are you ready to melt, 

like water that now spills in the basins?

discard our heart's snowy face, embracing spring to replace it?

her most critical statement:


“I care not of flowers' bloom, or fading frost in the river -

when I'm with you, I'm always wandering .. lost in a blizzard.”


.. so while that bittersweet sunlight continued to shine,

I crawled inside my own mind's private igloo & died.

made it a gravesite, defiant symbol of pride

only way to leave the frigid winds of winter behind.


February brought spring, summer, then autumn begun ..

Yet a lover's cold shoulder never thaws in the sun.




- Black


The Serpent King.


http://i49.tinypic.com/v7gi37.png


There's a tale of good & evil, of heroes & wars

of anarchist rebellion towards imperial force,

passed through spoken rhythm, a lyricist's lore

all revolving around this mysterious orb ……


In a town we'll call Globus, streets ancient & gritty,

civil hate was slowly brewing for their neighboring city ..

pouring rain, storm came and it was makin it misty,

cuz their energy levels had started fading, and quickly.

snakes had been seen beneath some bordering trees,

slithering silently across the shores of the beach,

all messengers of Sphera, Esteemed lord of the seas -

Commanding underwater armies of torturous beasts ..

He's on a never-ending quest to find a mortal release,

yet it's a quest he would need the sacred orb to complete.

Unfortunately, they're drawing closer to success,

every time the serpents came they felt it pulsing in their chest .. see,

Globus was the resting place for cursors of fate

divine light, and life itself inside this circular shape.

their power source, existence was preserved in it's wake

so everything their petty lives were worth was at stake.

Merlin the Great himself had crafted the ball,

to contain the scale of sanctity and balance it all.

Kept it safely in an idol statue crafted of Ra

inside a bronze mouth, tightly clamped in his jaw ..

it held magic beyond the realm of earthly science and logic

& every human simply knew that they would die if they lost it,

.. swore to fight for their prophet when encountering rivals,

as Sphera's soldiers slid forth to announce his arrival:


“Humanss, heed our wordss .. ssurrender the orb,

unlesss you've come to the conclusion that you're ready for war -

Now rise, good king, from the crest of your sea,

make way upon shore for .. His Excellency!”


.. sickly thick green mist arose from under the lake,

sudden shift in weather patterns causing thunder to quake,

then land started shaking, felt the rumbling plates

a salty smell, with overwhelming hunger & hate ..

smoke clears .. an end came to this stunning display,

and there He stood, man-like, features sullen and gray.

behind him were aquatic walls constructed of waves,

gave a single hand gesture as he summoned his slaves ..

still had nothing to say .. silent, staying in place

fingers traced a deep cut around the frame of his face ..

laying in wait were 30 serpents, standing beside

Fangs dripped when he spoke, his voice scratchy n' dry …


“You knew I would come, yet haven't surrendered ..

oh, what honest faith you all must have in this treasure,

now I must resort to our most wrathful of measures -

because I'm destined to inhabit this planet forever ..”


.. glanced at his minions as he lifted his hand,

finger pointed, and every serpent quickly advanced

slithered the sands and snapped their venomous fangs,

striking faster than any human weapon in range,

before the poison set and was injected in veins,

every man who stood proud was left dead from the pain.

swinging metal canes, or a segmented chain

only young David withdrew the edge of his blade.

Stepped in the rain .. air filled with these reptilian worms,

they reached the barn yard and started killing their herds,

one serpent leapt forth, intent on fulfilling its thirst -

before it reached its destination, blade was swingin' in first!

its head hit the ground, blood spilled purple & blue

another lunged forward and he murdered it too ..

.. this went on for hours, David moving with patience

slaying vermin, all the while creating beautiful snake skins.

Sphera watched, awestruck, and halted his soldiers

stepped backwards, then whispered : “This party is over.”

sunk slowly into the sea , bathed in ominous light

two beings appeared who must have been his daughter & wife ..


as they beckoned the unknown



people looked up and gasped in such obvious fright

to see their guardian statue Amen Ra was in flight ..

Sphera summoned the idol forth with all of his might,

saw the glow inside, at last, the sacred ball in his sight!

in startled delight, the outline that was carved in his face

squirmed around rapidly & started to shake,

human mask slipped, true form no longer encased

and out of his head emerged an army of snakes!

their target was Fate .. contained in spherical glass,

As the king neared their orb, people were weakening fast ..

David threw his blade faithfully, felt it leaving his hand --

then Fate merely showed it where it needed to land.



As Sphera finally sunk his teeth into eternal existence,

Hell's gates opened up and offered early admittance.

Human life has been protected, thanks to earthly resistance ..

cause when Fate starts to intervene, it determines the finish.


1


Don't come down.


I'll never leave this place.


I'm laughing & naked ,

curled up beside the fire place, wrapped in a blanket ..

grassy oasis, like hair upon the head of a storm cloud

apply pressure and tilt .. a glimpse of heaven is poured out

there's nothing here but summer days, 

haven't slept in a week.

scaling marble mountains, unsure of which direction to seek ..

fall and die before i reach the top .. transcend & release,

.. washed up across the silky sands of mescaline beach.

feel the fire beneath my feet, no reflection of heat

and realize that real life is one dimension beneath.

flashed back to that mountain, now sun is setting to sea

and i'm holding on for dear life at the edge of it's peak.

left hand slips, smooth marble to steel spikes

can't even remember when this started to feel nice.

surges of pain .. thin drift of in-between is so blurry n‘ gray,

bleed gas and breathe mercury, i burst into flame.


"please, let me stay”


spiraling softly .. silent joy, tried to master this feeling,

but i felt the cold coming in through a draft in the ceiling ..

and the crack was receding. 

bitter winds began rushing, acid rain pounded the floor

it filled up my bubble until i drowned in the storm.


for an hour or more .. i laid in heavenly comatose,

blissfully unaware of my failed attempt at an overdose.

opened both my eyes, senses returning to normal,

still feel a little dizzy from that circular portal, 

body's perfectly mortal - i've been in need of escape,

i wish they all understood, i couldn't leave it to fate.

the world couldn't keep turning with those people awake,

heads had to be removed to send their demons away.

i gave them freedom this way, plus a human perspective -

it's the only method of exorcism that's truly effective.

got a foolish obsession , i'm obsessed with reversal

cause we're all heading for hell, where death is eternal ..

so a few may be saved, most are surely forsaken,

life is simply the illusion that we absorb information,

while the afterlife is a non-for-profit organization,

it has nothing to gain from where the mortals are taken.

severed heads surround, infectious sores on their faces,

necks experiencing the crusty phase of mortification.

laugh to myself when i think of how authorities chasin’

i'm wanted on almost every coastal shore of the nation,

they can't reach me beyond this fleshy, horrid encasement

my self sacrifice can't be your black tie formal occasion.

freedom filled syringe, forearms forcibly shape-shift,

veins drip .. 

as I hear the lock shatter on the door of the basement.


     “Police! Anyone there? .. and what's that fucking smell?”

     “No, please .. Don't .. come down .. ”



down.


The bench.


http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...res/1bench.png


I buried mother today.


.. just a small ceremony, close family & friends,

it felt like the whole thing had happened again.

remember walking towards the open casket to vent,

said i loved her, both before and after her death.

that first lit cigarette, truly traumatic event

cause it paved the phlegmy trail to her cancerous rest.

no father to share this weight, one bastard instead

standing here, a solitary statue of tobacco & flesh.

her face, stony, pale, yet beautiful still,

black, shining hair, flowing like fluid that spilled,

in her eyes a solid stare, hue the bluest of steel

that slow descent into earth was when I knew it was real.

a fading desert grave among juniper fields,

drank the pain away in hopes my mood would distill ..

no booze at the wheel, can't risk waking in cuffs -

so i decided that night to sit and wait for the bus.

swaying so much, sat cross-legged on the street for a bit

playing with the locket i received as a kid ..

now holding memories i couldn't state in a sentence -

a photo of us inside, cracked n' frayed at the edges.

gazed for a second .. dropped glassy tears i eventually mopped,

put it back in my pocket, nearby was a bench at the stop ..

there was a person there, weeping - while stepping i wondered,

should two emotional wrecks be sitting next to eachother?

fuck it - it hurts a lot more to be aching alone,

plus this bus is pretty much the only way to get home.

face was unknown, fine-woven black veil covered it all,

but the sobs of a woman came from under the cloth,

eyes dug in her palm, running nose, a thundering cough

sat down right beside and asked her if she wanted to talk.

but something was wrong, there was this gargling noise ..

I realized before long that it was part of her voice -

said she just completed her walk from the graveyard,

where they buried her son, who was mauled by a stray dog.

i told her my story and we cried a little while -

suddenly, she said I quite remind her of her child ..

.. asked if she had a picture & she reached in her pocket,

to my utter surprise, she was retrieving a locket.

much like my own, tarnished gold - she opened it up,

to that faded, frayed ten-year-old photo of us.

quickly pulled back the black veil that covered her head,

mother's worm-ridden face, blue eyes sunken n' dead.

the cancer in her lungs was still disturbing her throat,

cuz blood bubbled out her mouth with every word that she spoke.

fell face-first in the road, heard motors whirring below,

at that moment, my bus finishes it's current approach ……


splat.


brains on the pavement, skull vacant & flat

my mother threw her veil upon me and it faded to black.


expected death's stare, awoke to doctors instead

rushing in and out, me on a hospital bed ..

asked if mama was dead, had cancer ended her breathing?

they laughed, said she dropped me off yesterday evening.

she also told them I received a nasty series of bites,

& now the worst case of rabies they've ever seen in their life.

saw my locket on the table, couldn't lift up an arm,

only stare at an empty space .. the picture was gone.

a black veil laid next to it, a note in marker was written up -

all that it said was, 

“I'm sorry you missed the bus.”


1


Imperfect balance.



yo,


.. Follow Mankind's time-line back to primitive ages;

before condos and cubicles, liberty living in cages.

Cave - wall scrawling, dialogue depicting the ancients,

where conflict resolution wasn't written in pages ..

consequence for common sense wasn't prison enslavement ,

eye for eye, blood for blood, let it spill in the basins!

realizing nature's call was part of civilization -

because the thirst for revenge is raw, instinctive & basic.



Take Pawg, neolithic times, he's sharpening knives

handle's bone, sandstone, flying sparks in his eyes

lost interest eventually in all of his wives,

only loved a single girl, & his daughter was five.

they were playing together, said she wanted to hide

anywhere around the cave, and his job was to find ..

what he found made him cry, beyond shock or surprise

his little girl slumped over, bloody, hardly alive.

a teenage boy stood behind, thrusting, cock was inside ,

unearthed her flower before a chance to blossom or rise ..

the image: he pulled out, made her swallow, lips wide

she then was shoved, roughly to the water & died.

it took a minute to process this thought in his mind -

as he raised his knife high, Pawg went partially blind ..

& when the slaughter took place, a broken heart was his guide,

for a man knowing now that he would never father a bride ..

.. and that's the fairest trial existing for so awful a crime,

one type of natural justice that the law has confined.


(as the weight slowly shifts)


Love the ladies, fine women shape my earthly perspective,

straight as arrows, but some go a different, curving direction -

attracted to the same sex, can't control their personal preference

shit's been proven scientifically, from birth, it's genetic.

them people are harassed, hardly heard or respected ..

cuz of what gets a pussy wet or what spurs an erection.

religious outcasts, considered cursed & demented,

cleansed of their demons, sent to church to repent it.

.. it's not that i agree with homo urges or senses,

but a person marrying their mate ain't deserving a sentence. 



Linda was riding slow, her pick-up trucking along

bandana on her brow, softly humming a song .. 

came from New Hampshire, should've stuck with her broad

honeymoon was last year, second month in the Fall

she hoped her journey wouldn't cause their love to dissolve,

while attending school at texas state, studying law.

unfamiliar roadsigns, she felt suddenly lost,

a turn she took a few miles back musta been wrong ..

all alone, dusk blanketed the country in bronze

up ahead, some good ol' boys sat on a couple of hogs ..

U-Turned, rear-view showed their faces: stunned & appalled

probably the “gay & proud” sticker on her bumper they saw.

trailed her path, pistol penetration under the car -

tires flatten out, truck succumbing to a sputtering stall .. 

rode up beside, one put his gun to her jaw;

broke it with the barrel, cheekbone bloody & raw

dragged out the car window for a fuckin assault,

left Linda half-dead, fallen phone touchin her palm

so with her last bit of strength, police she struggled to call.

sirens blared, found semi - conscious, hugging the tar ..

ambulance to hospital, white robes of smothering cloth

unveiled the marriage certificate she had stuffed in her bra.

showed it to the doc, replied, in southerly drawl :

“Give'r back, tell her confess & put all trust in the Lawd ..”

2 weeks later they released her - into cuffs & a charge,

legal prosecution for a feeling .. one that wasn't her fault.


:


… There's a certain set of unrestricted, reactive responses,

that most likely get you sentenced into capital's bondage.

no package of options, the choice is already made

how could you say anything different once your daughter is slain?

call the brigade, let em know there aint no army for gays 

marginalized all because their partner's parts are the same ..

church never parted with state, the system's majorly flawed,

cuz there will never be a perfect balance between nature & law.


1


Pointless freedom.


Where can I escape to when I'm running in circles?


There's a lot of things i'd love to say ..

but probably never will.

pour out every last drop, yet the bottom could never fill.

the opposite sex appeal can verbally lash out,

til we're showering in shards from our proverbial glass house.

can't determined a mapped route .. 

traveling treacherous roads,

a thousand signs point to home with no direction to Go.

if you said it once, essentially it's set into stone 

we thought the elephant would wander if we left it alone.

but it STAYED in the room .. then it settled in slow,

cuz true wounds never clot, they only fester & grow.

irrelevance spoke, mimicking my sentences silently

and burned every memory you kept in your diary.

I'm guessing you lied to me .. and bottled your wishes up,

gettin' trashed just to take a walk with the litterbugs.

that diary can burn, hope every blotting of ink combusts

remembrance aint shit if you've forgotten to give a fuck.

brought up old times, arguments to keep it in play ..

did everything I could to push this freedom away.

Once dreamed of relief from these "leashes" and "chains"

then realized you were the one I needed to stay.

So lost.

I finally understand what you were meaning to say,

it's part of growing up and really seeking a change.

you ain't keepin it real, if you always keep it the same -

… so says every tree; sun bathing leaves in the rain.

anticipating emptiness, this season will fade

God grants us progression without kneeling to pray.

even today .. 

it's a crystal clear sky, pristine white in the sands

no land on the planet is in higher demand,

it's vast, open canvas for the wandering mind

followed curiosity a while & now i've fallen behind ..

walkin beside walls of broken promises, lies

you said you needed SPACE .. i said,

i think our astronomy's fine.

gotta decide:

to run away from issues or wrestle 'em ..

it feels like a choice between the pit and the pendulum.

reflective sun illuminates mistakes n' regrets

haven't called in a week, the occasional text ..

afraid of the next step, lover made into enemy ..

freedom remains an illusion,

I'm a slave to your memory.


1


The boy who cried apocalypse.


check


Some say that fate rules, and we're bound to it's spell -

to sink mercilessly towards the bowels of hell ..

all these half baked hypotheses, two thousand and twelve,

poor man was still bagging up his powder to sell.

it's a shame that nobody had the power to tell,

everyone thought it started with the towers that fell.

high tide when the hermit crab crawled out of its shell,

and tiki tiki tambo finally drowned in the well.

i shouted & yelled .. passing faces wouldn't respond,

staring straight ahead while i was looking beyond,

to the end of the road, through supernovas in space -

cause the same forces there are meant to hold us in place.

no one is safe, mankind is not the holiest race,

we're all one; there can be no inappropriate faith.

marxist, socialist states, evolutionary scientists, protestants;

everybody is red inside the eye of apocalypse.


Silver lining of a scarlet cloud breaks & descends,

blood turns to ice water, i'm awakened again.

street corner, long forsaken blankets or beds

all that matters is the message i've been fated to send.

through not by fate itself, a theoretical construction,

but harbingers of freedom by incredible destruction.

my dreams told me all i had to know in a night,

granite of black matter paves a road to the light,

a golden sparrow perched, clothed in robes, linen white -

told a lie and then a truth, asked if i know which is right.

my answer changed the outcome of the ultimate fight,

but how was mind to know? my soul had chosen this life.


the world ends tonight, there's 30 seconds of time

to save the people waiting in confessional lines,

the end is nigh, hear me, 30 seconds of time

the voices in my head are a most definite sign.


So why am i talking?

i'm not chicken little - and the sky isn't falling,

we just overstayed our welcome and we're finally departing.

violently coughing, tears of mucus nasally drip,

there's no gathering animals or making a ship.

this isn't fairy tale, conspiracy or biblical passage

ancient translation of some written semantics,

but it's weighing on my brain like a cancerous virus

socrates knew all along, we had the answers inside us.

one final sunrise riding high in the west,

burns my eyes out their sockets every time that i rest.

violence infects, til nothings left but grasses n' rock

only wastelands escape the ticking hands of a clock.


nobody would listen with 20 seconds of time,

just lived their lives waiting in confessional lines.


I felt the vibration, and the shaking began

reached out until a passerby had taken my hand;

said he knew that i made a few mistakes in the past-

living every second like this day is the last.

went inside his pocket and he gave me some cash,

as the oxygen around us started changing to ash,

the nation collapsed, blackened skies erupting afar,

toxic atmospheric flashes fall like hundreds of stars,

flame suddenly sparks, the air is seventy proof,

and all i ever did was try my best to tell them the truth.


everything died within 10 seconds of time,

everything, except me .. i was meant to survive.


Vast desert, standing solitary .. sepia toned,

wandering forever in this desert alone,

cursing my soul, thought it was better to know

when humanity would flicker out like embers & coal,

everything thats glittering has never been gold -

but none of that matters with 4 seconds to go ..


http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...es/horizon.png


3 

2 

1.


Dreamt of playing with fate -

hear the street corner buzzing and i'm shaken awake;

knowing i must warn people before it's too late to escape.


the world ends tonight, there's 30 seconds of time,

but allow me to pause, before pressing rewind ..



“It's getting worse, Mr. James. Spreading rapidly. It will soon become very hard to differentiate your dreams, visions, and reality.

I recommend you check into a clinic directly upon leaving this office. It's not as if this is your last day on earth, but you need

help.”


1


Mannequin.


Where to begin?


you smiled this way .. that old, unbearable grin,

the type that lures Jesus into terrible sin,

only comparable thing, sunrise crossing the coast -

teeth beyond bleach, whiter than hospital coats.

your love in such demand, it's got the popular vote,

capsized inside two glassy eyes, they're rockin the boat .. 

modeling, no - it's a delicate art-form,

pressed upon your chest like scarlet letters in Hawthorne,

a friend, but i sought more - and i know it equates,

cause ever since we first met, you've been frozen in place.


it was but a few weeks before i noticed a change,

you were never there for me on my loneliest days;

wandering aimlessly through clothing displays,

like the closest that i've been to you is poster in frames.

going insane since that picture surfaced, it's too hard

seeing you next to someone looking perfect as you are.

purchased a U-Haul to move on, hard as it sounds

fuck, you know i'm bluffing .. can we stop arguing now?

targeting crowds, lately all you crave is attention,

with the blankest expression, staring .. awaiting affection.

such a material girl - you're a slave to possessions,

& every time the trends shifts, you'll change in a second.


Why did you change?


… it's been a long time that we've been struggling dear,

a couple of years? maybe, but there's nothing to fear -

the path to your heart has opened, suddenly clear,

cuz that regretful gaze that you gave me was so fuckin sincere.

to mumble sweet nothings only one of us hear,

gives me a slight buzz like i was chugging a beer.

coming in near, to see you're busy again

surrounded by the same crowd, your pitiful friends.

they stare disapprovingly & leave with a sigh -

treating you as if you weren't even alive.

scream with your eyes - i feel the passionate energy,

silky skin, more radiant than plastic could ever be.

apathy, empathy - both are held in your hand,

fragile, at any second they could melt & disband ..

selfishness granted, you've taken a part of me,

realized the void inside you and replaced it with arteries.

created a harmony, thought our connection has grown,

'til the day you finally sacrificed your flesh, skin & bone.


You are so fucking perfect.


the truth of the matter, is that truth doesn't matter -

cause humanity's perspective views are usually scattered.

you're sickening to me .. the most beautiful cancer,

i'd vomit blood and wine and say the eucharist backwards,

if only you would see. see, i'm never evolving -

you'll always be good enough and better than all things,

your presence is calming - yet it's just an illusion,

once upon a time, you were something other than human.

took a place in line and stood, not accustomed to moving,

the true nature of your being is a dusty confusion.

never come to conclusion, that's the working of fate,

you traveled where you thought was real, returned as a fake.

no longer living, breathing - just a fabric of memory,

though sometimes it's still clear,

under that plastic .. is energy.


1


The last snow.


I remember it perfectly .. my first December in Germany,

and the love of my life who would never return to me.

fences & burning trees, separated until death or insurgency,

stench throughout the air was so tremendous it hurt to breathe.

purchased free, left home in back of a giant truck,

under strict supervision of the man who was driving us.

packed in a silent bunch - half naked, skinny & pale

every one of us at once isn't tippin the scale,

and don't get me wrong; it's not a prisoner's tale,

because i'll never be confined to the limits of jail.


Unloaded on arrival and set in a line,

me and her were separated due to gender divides,

head counts revealed that there were seventy nine,

young men ready to serve under General Heinz.

corn cob pipe smoking, on his waist was a sword,

pistol - left hand holster, posture straight as a board.

boots shinier than solar rays embracing the shore,

face was contorted into hatred as he gave us our chores.

labor was forced, those who refused it suddenly vanished,

had our body type noted and our muscles examined,

then assigned us to posts, gave some of us badges,

awards for achievements that my mother had granted.

more hungry than famished, first week rolled to an end,

couldn't sleep, just sat on cold floor feelin lonely instead.

emotional wreck - wonder where the women were taken,

and if we were existing now in similar places.

digging ditches in the day time, plotted tricks to escape this,

couldn't let this story end within this bitter enslavement.


Wintery rages swept the frost that littered the yard,

caused massive flurries in the air, made visibility hard -

waited til the time they re-position the guards,

slipped inside the first door they left a little ajar.

room hidden in dark, light switch flipped with a spark -

the sight sent a sinful trickle through my innocent heart.

sinister thoughts - melting flesh, leaking intestines,

surrounded by the fire as if Prometheus sent it.

steaming of engines, only Hell could house this machine

despite the chill outside, this room's a thousand degrees -

down on my knees - a couple teardrops turned into fits,

cuz the open oven brought the scent of man, 

burnt to a crisp.

… Heard something click - ran to hide in the corner,

behind a chair, placed to witness this device for the tortured,

writhing with horror, saw 3 people enter inside -

first a masked man, my mother, then General Heinz.

they said, to see her son she attempted to bribe

an officer with sex, and was molested & tied.

beaten to a pulp, from her head to her thighs,

bruises on her bony legs & red in her eyes.

she appeared in a trance like a sedative high,

off in her own world, so she could pleasantly die,


the oven door opened .. i leapt with a cry,

unsheathed Heinz's blade, swept left to the right,

he fell, yet the other held aggressively tight

to her neck, shoved her quickly towards the deadliest light.


“Mama!”


and our eyes met, for one final moment -


http://i991.photobucket.com/albums/a...tures/fire.png


A girl who always taught her son to follow his dreams,

cremated by the powers of the Nazi regime.

simply walked out the door, to a shot in the spleen -

blanketed in snowflakes, softly falling for me.

because this snow isn't cold, or flying from heaven -

her ashes hugging my body, 

The last snow was a mother's final sign of affection.


1


The Protectors.


yo -


It was a heated election,

when many people felt the earth needed protection.

Little did we know that it was freezing progression -

They had no choice but to teach us a lesson.


.. some were preaching prevention of cars & machines,

cause of smoky pollutants they often release,

even boycotting buses to walk in the streets,

until the “green” movements, slash marketing schemes.

While some called shenanigans, didn't hardly believe

these 'tree huggers', green peace were really closeted queens.

drove their H2's, smoked cubans, deposited steam,

cast their plastic six-packs to the water in streams.

atomic debris, bombs blasting in war zones

mushroom clouds grow from a casualties torn clothes.

scattered in morse code; the answers to warm holes

appearing in the atmosphere, while cancer absorbs slow.

we were dancing in worn soles - labeled it ‘climate change’,

storm patterns that hadn't been made since the primal age,

Al Gore got on the mic and they gave him the right-of-way,

The driving force, rockin “I hate Homo-Sapiens” license plates;

No more dependence on oil, electric rays into cyberspace,

solar power in the day, charged by radiant microwaves.

The raging of tidal waves were peaceful & still,

“Go Green” was a phrase the global media drilled -

until our heads finally filled with a feeling of guilt,

for all of nature's creations our machinery killed.

Our seasonal tilt shifted back to regular cycles,

next generation really felt it best to recycle,

the antichrist was bullshit, with respect to the bible

but there's still a chosen few, to whom the devil was vital.

Protects their survival, one day from ashes He rose:

said “It's but a matter of time before humanity knows.”

the fossil fuel families spitting gases & coal

went bankrupt in transition 'til their factories closed.

These titans of industry once held massive control,

But with their power now obsolete, they vanished below ……


“Coal makes us sick. Oil makes us sick. It's global warming. It's ruining our country. It's ruining our world.”

- Harry Reid,

U.S. Senate Majority Leader


- 2099 -


Nature prevailed before all of our eyes,

found a cheap way to desalinate the water supply,

Rainforest regrew, no toxins bothered the skies,

the Green movement sent mama earth a positive vibe -

aint let politics die, there's still corruption & greed,

and starvation worldwide, forever suffering breeds,

but something had eased: the wars in the middle east,

the western world was finally afforded a little peace.

the source of electricity had shifted dramatically,

since the human race was no longer addicted to gasoline,

got rid of the plastic sea, alas, too great to be true

since nobody knew the position that our fate had assumed.

This civilized time line was long forsaken & doomed,

Cause no environmental movement ceases nature's pursuit.


In a Godless world, a deal with the Devil remains unbroken.


They came in the night -

a silver-lined aurora cloud, bathed in aqueous light,

humming to the melody of Satan's delight.

Shadow being, fangs sharper than the blade of a knife,

leading brigades of suited men, faces shaded from sight,

in every nation alike, they marched like crashes of thunder,

can of gas in one hand and a match in the other.

masking their hunger for the order of mankind,

exploding on the scene with the force of a land mine,

outsourced for the last time - they've marketed change,

but a few must protect the earth's penultimate phase.

Real nature is re-generation, no pause during play,

for a new earth to emerge, this one must start to decay.


http://i40.tinypic.com/20sj9kx.png


These former oil tycoons, the masters of war,

once controlling the commodity most battles are for,

dumped their product into oceans, black splashing the shore,

one single night, a thousand years worth of damage restored.

Smashed the panels, then went after what the panels absorbed -

Brought revelation to the land without a galloping horse.

Civilization has a pattern, and the pattern was torn

once the first man resolved to stop gassing his ford.

set in place since the second that our planet was formed,

Mankind aint forever - But chaos is everlasting & more.

As valleys were torched, fresh forests burned to the ground,

the world just kept turning and turning around …

Birds in the clouds witnessed global recharge,

fumes blocking solar power with the glow of the stars.

the people would awaken to the smokiest fogs,

leaving hardly any energy for owners of cars;

the government would panic, no one knowin the cause -

grab blankets as the landscape takes on a frozen visage,

They need heat as the sleet starts to snow in the Fall,

and then it's not hard to guess who their going to call.


Species are destined to decline when civilizing begins,

as Nature takes it's course and starts the cycle again.


1


A brief tribute.


this is dedicated to my enemies, friends n' acquaintances 

my favorite girl for every last gentle embrace or kiss,

and to all those who never learned to treasure relationships,

but the pussy good, so fuck it .. no eventual chains & whips,

tied down .. while God is upstairs, spreading his radiance

big ups to those who know that there's a heaven for atheists.

desert arabians, chinamen and native americans

aryans, terrorists, victims of humanity from Haiti to Maryland

shaping the paraffin, light the wick and let it burn to the wax

as it drips down the side like blood through tourniquet cracks .. 

those who service the rats, feeding us their version of facts,

cuz with enough time and pressure, we'll all learn to adapt.

word to the cat who lets me cop a twenty for fifteen,

and fronts the other five for a shot of this jim beam,

so tell me you missed me .. so i'll come back with a vengeance,

but don't ask me anything and i might answer some questions,

the faggots in dresses .. shit, even the hookers and trannies

hoes bent over in lowriders so we can look at their panties,

those who couldn't be happy - veins naked & bleeding,

if you think suicide is selfish .. you can't relate to the feeling.

it's vague & defeating, painful, misleading, hateful, deceiving

some folks put themselves to sleep , just to awaken the healing.

so this is dedicated to them. and to you, critiquing this verse

dissecting every portion just to see if it works ..

but before you make a judgement, try re-reading it first

a dedication to every human being on this earth.


1


String Theory.


http://www.creativedimenxion.com/Ima...aphicart01.gif


Always heard & never seen - a voice in the dark,

a recording of an echo of the noise of a thought.

oysters & sharks feel reverberation, forming a line

the course of our lives, dependent on what chords it's assigned

endorphins decline upon that chorus, heard in a better time,

and you're forced to remember all those urges to press rewind..

that church in december pines; that bench in the park,

that laugh you can't forget, the scent she left on your scarf..

the serious talks, silent moments staring contently,

heard it play the other day, now sounding barren & empty;

terribly sexy.. left my limbic system glowing intensely,

still i planted seeds - knowing one day you'd grow to resent me.

but let it play. strumming beauty, slowly n' gently,

10 soulless ghosts, composing a melodious medley..

blessed me, to send electric doves to perch in the phone lines,

only found my silver lining when i searched in a gold mine.

detergent & soap slime, acid tab notations & staff marks

equations on graph charts, cold veins adjacent to black heart

it's painful, but that's art. it can disassemble your hope,

yet when it resonates, the mind can set your temple afloat

clean paper turns to scribbled sheet of sentences, notes

like a clean paper burns into a resinous roach.

throats begging to choke - gave meaning to the letters i wrote

it's hard to sing them out loud from the end of a rope.

feathers will molt. strings will break, and bodies will rot

because he keeps playing, even if you want it to stop.


feathers will molt. strings will break, and bodies will rot

because he keeps playing, even if you want it to stop.



1


“Growth & Development”


yo,


shirt, tucked, black slacks and leathery shoes;

at this interview, stuck with nothing better to do..

graduated with some paper and a debt to the school,

which will probably haunt me til i'm seventy two.

we're taught to grow up and develop the tools,

to insure our accounts when their investments accrue. 

our imagination is replaced with a quest for the loot,

so people fly on autopilot the executive route,

don't accept it as truth, cause many never accept

that age seven is the closest thing to heaven we get.

pretending is best - it's a fact that reality bites,

salary is but a fraction of your value in life.

some think if mother said it, then it has to be right,

but i'd trade my soul to remember what imagining's like.

a dragon in flight, breathing fire in a massive assault

giving voices to my toys like they could actually talk ...

“Not dolls, they're action figures!” - Automatic response,

so i'm sitting in my playroom, giving actions & thoughts

to these plastic facades - my adolescent escape,

before goals and loan applications stepped in the way

before unemployment offices and severance pay,

recess and snack time in elementary days..

countless phrases my alphabet soup letters arranged

til this day, sometimes it's difficult accepting the change

a speckle of pain, but moving on is part of the journey

just pray that spark inside my heart aint dark when i'm 30.

always maturing, youthful light is God's most obvious bond

but once you're old enough to realize, it's already gone.


shirt, tucked, black slacks and leathery shoes;

at this interview, stuck with nothing better to do.



“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

- Mitch Hedberg


“Living the Dream”

----------

http://img178.imageshack.us/img178/9...ynightmare.jpg



check -


sub-conscious thought processes, so lucid & sharp,

bloodless veins, fluctuating in her beautiful heart;

once my stainless steel angel with aluminum harp - now

another human that I've only ever viewed in the dark.

how useless is art, to convey this emotion,

these stones have grown ugly in their daily erosion ..

that alarm could start screaming and i may be awoken,

as (once again) your graceful wings are painfully broken.

it's like a hateful implosion when you witness a rape,

knowing you're the only reason that she didn't escape .. 

although, He who saves his damsel truly isn't awake,

sobbing echoes down this tunnel as I'm slipping away .. into -


another glistening day. star-shine brightening rooms,

but beauty only resurrects beneath the rise of the moon.

there's not much that separates a bride from her groom,

yet entire planes of existence divide my psyche from you.

every waking second - fraying threads, tied to a loom

those pressured SNAPS are nothing but reminders to move ..

i've sacrificed it all, so i'm entitled to snooze,

as the jazz pianist inside me plays the vicoden blues,

just like you play that game, where you hide from my view

and i fucking hate that game because i'm frightened to lose.

at night, the pursuit of happiness is likely to dissipate,

and be replaced with a hunger for what life couldn't simulate,

this insatiable hunger, 3rd iris eyeing the dinner plate -

stomach tense with hope that you might finally reciprocate. so i,


tried to initiate a meeting for my subtle confession,

but streams of consciousness carried me in other directions.

let it drift, memorizing every bubble's reflection,

soon arrived inside a place bathed in utter perfection.

had a face-to-face with Truth and his brother, Deception -

the latter told me you were just another one of his henchman.

Truth told me this was false, these bluffs were impressive

but his sibling simply wished for me to suffer depression.

asked hundreds of questions, unsure which to believe,

both claiming the other brother had a trick up his sleeve ;


suddenly, i heard you softly whisper to me,

telling me that both these men were villainous fiends -

either side of my conscience will deliver deceit,

and if i return, you'll give what i intrinsically need.

tides then arose quickly from the brim of the sea,

stream washing me back towards my Misses to be.

except the water's now oily, churning wicked & deep

black surface mirror reflecting only infinite grief ..

as we reached the other shoreline, a vividness peaked

and i knew that this was life - i wasn't really asleep.

calm inside your palm, figure timid & weak

saying i can make you strong, make the picture complete.

if i just keep dreaming.. don't listen to the RING or the BEEP

her rosy cheeks, sunrises when i'm kissing her cheek.

is prison, really prison if the prisoner's free?

and once upon a time, had the decision to leave?


i say not.


so i give my wrists permission to bleed

break capsules down to powder & the sniffing proceeds

if i succeed, that damned alarm won't injure her being,

and i won't (once again) see her wings split at the seams

took a permanent residence where i visit my queen,

cuz the angel from my nightmare has me living a dream.


1.


Writer's block (feat. Cry)


I've imagined it all: snowy cityscape, granite & salt,

white fog from black ice, windows flash in the dark,

natural art form, blistering brick murals scratched into tar -

road signs on wet cement, made for trafficking cars ..

.. Now imagine that it's residents abandoned it all,

and every storefront is blockaded by diagonal bars -

plastic facades of mannequins heard laughing afar,

you'll never know the joke because you're strapped to this wall.

rain splattering, falls upon the jacket you bought

just for this vacation into god-forsaken alleys of thought,

quit panicking, watch the clocks melt at gradual paces

and weep at those depressing looks they have on their faces;

break free of the chains that demand your enslavement,

the mission - excavate epiphanies from gravel and pavement.

stoplights strobe to any mp3 you add to the playlist,

inspiration so close that you can actually taste it.

'til you're backing away with the force of a run ..

.. the idea fades, you're on a porch full of dust.

scorching the crums that are doomed to find a burner,

cleansing a mind laden with love, suicide, or murder -

which are moods you try to nurture; fumbling with lined paper,

the pens flicker too similar to the crumbling of skyscrapers,

a trite vapor dissolving the second it hits the woodwork,

with religion on the brain - lookin' to spread the good word.

it's even stumping the book worm! how the burden's so misused,

how the solo artist is lost, and most work is co-produced,

perversed and overused [the greatest love and the boldest crime]

the city bears a pair of persons sharing a story old as time.

the whole area cold and dry, it's almost best to bring the fire,

to buy a place for sympathy before the equity's retired,

but you been banished from the city .. hardly exiting the mire.

surging with the faults of your destiny's desires,

everything's required - your hands equally tied,

tryin' to do the thing you love until it eats you alive.


it's an evil, disguised ..

.. designed to give us hell now,


an apocalyptic meltdown, a disease that's intravenous,

injected via beast that speaks through tounge and cheek with

seething toxic leakage, deemed as the most deadly,

best compared with a clot layin' deep in the throat; heavy .. 

.. teeth that explode, wrecking every organ as it bites down,

it's my monster inside - are you getting the hype NOW??

rippin' divides out, I'm tryin' to decode Da Vinci,

livin' up to what's expected before people resent me.

in a sinkhole, pretending that I know just what I'm doin' -

duckin' in the front lines without knowin' what I'm shootin',

an M16 with two clips, filled up full of blank thoughts,

this thing is immune to bullets, my ideas are dragged off.

tried to write like Mike, take the jump for a bank shot,

'til my monster got the block, I lost my thought ..


hang on.


pz.


The Cherry Orchard.


she came here to be alone.


knowing not how i silently witness,

her cries and short breaths from a sizable distance ..

i start to wonder of her family, of her life, her existence

though the doors remain shut, i've always pried at the hinges.

her shadow, walking slowly, mirrors vibrant eclipses,

but i'd stare until each atom in the sky is diminished.

she's tired of all the pressure that's applied by her critics,

both horny guys n' jealous girls are spiteful and vicious.

put fire to her bridges, then fled to find some deliverance,

from that cold urban tundra towards an island of wilderness.

a young, pretty girl at the height of her innocence -

her eyes are sunflower petals as they rise into synthesis,

our paths intertwined, not even slightly coincidence,

she came here to be alone, and to hide from imprisonment.


winds whisper softly, grassy floors respond with a wave

& even swordsman of war can feel the calm in it's blades,

this orchard's been a home to both Goddess and slave,

fields of luscious fruitfulness, beneath a moderate shade.

when all stars are away, my precious meadow starts to decay,

into a yard of blank tombstones on anonymous graves.

yet it grows for every lonely soul who wanders this way,

seeking safety & seclusion from their arduous pain..


she came here to escape.


cause life is good within this shady recluse,

dying inside, but on the surface she's remaining aloof;

Man can be cruel -- her purple face is the proof,

a blood-crusted result of her husband's daily abuse.

i saw those crystal tears fall to stain the suede in her boots -

heart aching for it's recent phase of blatant disuse,

wishing i could save her from all hatred produced,

take every lie she ever heard from them and make it the truth.

but instead, i'm stuck among geranium roots,

being forced to watch this lovely creature break into two.

leaking salt water, cold sweat, draining her juice

since Mama died, Dad's drinking put the Grey in the Goose.

so she sits, plucking finger-fuls of radiant fruits,

spreading streaks of sticky crimson, recreating her youth.

& at the moment, all is well - gave her patience a boost,

knowing now, she must change back into her marital suit ..

while this cherry-filled imaginarium is rarely in view,

she came here to escape a world escaping her too.


an orchard, switching particles to personal orbits,

appearing only to a lonely soul that searches the forest,

even I will never truly know it's purpose or sources,

but life flows from this oasis like the perfect abortion,

experiences may differ when observing this fortress,

yet it's always clear, when reality's a blurry distortion.


she came here to be free.


her skin now wrinkled and spotty,

bones brittle as the warped organs that sit in her body.

hunchbacked, clothed in rags, looking skinny as gandhi

years of feeling dead have turned her into a zombie,

but that glow inside her eyes was still terrific & godly, 

and that glow that never died still continues to haunt me.

tries to pick a cherry, lifts her finger so softly

'til arthritis reminds her that movement's physically costly. 

so she sits, reminiscing as she sips on her coffee

painful memories - each stinging worse than sniffing wasabi

she has to laugh, all her life she was addicted to folly..

her marriage to deceit, to that omnipotent nazi -

who overdosed post surgery, found with shit in his jockeys.

ironic; the last thing he abused was his prescription for oxy.

regretting never bearing children, or even picking a hobby

never found her own room, she always lived in the lobby.


her vision is groggy, feeling strength begin to decline,

and to her, the entire equation's simple as pie.

i've witnessed many characters that live in a lie,

and value existence in terms of nickels & dimes,

but this girl was different.. a walking symbol of pride,

defined by the defiance in her glimmering eyes.

she never gave up, though many nights wishing to die,

knowing Heaven wasn't drifting in the infinite skies.

from ashes to dust, there's no more whimpering cries

just another nameless grave between this wrinkle in time.


free at last.



“to be content is it's own virtue”


Sweet love.


chemical mixture, skeletal whispers, gasping sighs -

red within gelatin blisters, trickling to refract the light

crackin like, yolk in eggy elixers,

deafening, were the jagged cries - 

as spikes severed her sphincter,

heart, melted within her;

in the heat of my impassioned crime.


she was, walkin calmly in the summery haze,

caught me with the subtlest gaze -- and i was hooked;

shook, put my stomach in chains,

the girl in high school i would stare at for much of the day

never gave a glance in class, and lunch was the same

but now, it was like i knew that something had changed, 

cuz it's been ages since this many butterflies fluttered this way..

so i chased her til my arteries & muscles were strained.

right hand hovered, a wave - hopin' she'd look -

lips curled in a smile that could dry up thundering rains.

walked over even though i had nothing to say,

tryna come up with a witty quip, discussion or phrase -

she asked, what was my name? i paused.

what the fuck was my name? 

suddenly, my world was feeling fuzzy and strange,

skin cells were turning black, veins bubbled with pain,

then it all went blank - like a POW's grave.

all i remembered was her face, blue steel covered in flame

and the life we made together as a couple of slaves

bound by idealized production and games

that define what qualifies as honest love in our brains.


all i know is..


i LOVED her suffocated gasps as her limbs were extended

skin ripping, defenseless to the grip of the torture rack -

innards drip to the floor, collapse, rigid & breathless

every seizure got that sexy body twitching relentless,

plus my synapses flashin into intimate senses,

flesh and bone - soup and supper, pooling liquid for breakfast;

initially had innocent and simple intentions,

get her digits, offer dinner suggestions - 

that plan flipped in sixty critical seconds,

once the pain inside manifested physical essence

it peeked out and asked me to deliver a message,

said there aint nothin wrong with a little aggression

to let them keep their lives is like instinctive suppression,

falsified, like redemption in a sinner's confession.


this is a lesson,


to you. if love is true, don't hold back your emotions

lust, envy, hate, murder .. 

the chemicals that trigger these are natural potions,

i laugh at the notion, the earth is home to millions of dimes

gotta love the ladies.. 

even though i want to kill 'em sometimes.


1



_________________________________________________________________________

2006

_________________________________________________________________________




Flashbacks 


..to memories that refused to erase with time..

rasict crimes,

yet stayin close to the page, wielding adjacent lines.. face the signs?


i've slain n fought, so lames are taught to stay abroad..

throwin fits in public, this disorderly conducter -

jumps aboard all unwise tracks and hijacks ya train of thought!..-

..

..take it back to reality,, where only facts are applied to wounds that crack n bleed placcidy..

where casualties scamed n fee'd til you're buckets of loot gone -- so when you get home at night, there's nothin to chew on...

puffin a blue bong to soften to pain of every scene's strife,

idea's involvin buckin a two's gon make me look at my weaponry twice...


.......could a sentence seize life?.......


...cuz pens dance across tablets free; breathe deeply when spoken-

-so i handle bars rapidly, and make sure inhale deeply when smokin...


..to make sure lungs withold all the tales to be told, passed on through generations, as stale truths unfold..


......the plan is fail proof, i'm told.. i'd sell my soul to whoever said to put those quaaludes on hold,

cause as i sail through the folds--

--of frail youths, such cold...

.

.

.......these flashbacks remind me to keep attempting to break through the mold.......


..brave, true n bold -- all elements of power that we must teach to wronged kids,

climb wisdom's rocky roads to reach the strong cliffs.. above to beautiful heavens, where you screech n' song lifts..

..

...preach the drawn myths, but back to matters at hand.. nowadays will shatter a man..

gas prices higher than cheech n chong flicks, cuz God must've lost track of his blueprint and scattered the plans...


--but still serve as a citizen with platter in hand, rung by rung steady working up this ladder of man,

accompanied by the softest pitter patter of sand--


..:the sands of time:..

-..counting down with hands that shine til we're reduced to tatters of land..-


..but i won't let it stand this time.. i've come too far, traveled back too distantly.. swung through bars, from iraq to sicily..

dissin a peep? guns shoot far, n' backs groove instantly, rinse and repeat til it's sunroofed cars, and crack tubes distance fiends..


..this neverending cycle rotates like lucifer's laundry machine,

raunchy n mean, definitely aint street life that taught me to dream..

to peer inside minds, yet the inner sight caught me n screamed..

but do i fear the blind cry? nah, instead i sought me a scheme..


plots to destroy and rebuild all these years we've lost hopelessly,

rendering ourselves hopelessly lost among exhaust, dope n greed..

cuz even these tossed doja leaves won't change the fact..

..this age is cracked, our last chances have crossed overseas--

.

.

the laws over fee, leaving babies stuck in time due to paused ovaries.. 

branches of self awaiting it's last spiral, but my drops hold the trees..

visions say fissions lay, ready to smash our thoughts hopes n pleas..

so we journey far and wide to places not even mister clause oversees--


..government worms n pigs packin, leaving us for dead without a wave, without even affirmative action..


claw throats n feed, human animals now, since assistance was lifted..

prisons are shifted, convicts run free, and any resistance is fisted..

any distance is bliss kid, for a while we didn't jus risk it...

...but the thought of permanent refuge from vermin n dense fools?

..so guess what the misses and dis did? flashed back, before time..


before treason..


before rhyme..


before reason..


..to find peace in utter solitude, before existance existed.



A Warrior's Words


…………Many years past, indeed; time ceases for no man, as i've come to conseive... 

pummeled n weaved, these ancient tactics have plummeted deep……

Inside the mind of humankind, where we honor and grieve… 

blind to painful realizations we don't wanna believe…

…Although Earth keeps turning while we sit back, seemingly still in this chaos… 

break down barriers never seen, forever clean, killing the seance..

Willing to break laws, of course; 

Reckless fools reckon who will be the first this Lord starts steppin to…

…Reppin who? Those above and beyond expectations met, 

facin vets with well trained stances, patient, yet…

Amazin tests make me wonder if the net's worth a vet's curse…

cardiovascular cubes idly sit, encased in chests…

…Blades and teks, all in use at the drop of a hat- 

One man fires, the rest of yall quick to copy a cat; And it's done sloppy at that, 

blasts off the mark, i double back n cop me a gat…

…Nevermind, I'll cop me a bat… beat sense into kids, 

cuz you've left me with a burden of stress, strife… 

Still i speak to your hearts, you feel a burn in ya chest like, nothing before, 

so i shove it in more, 

til ya ribcage folds and spirits release beats for humanity to be heard in the next life…

…Blurted and guessed right, so our race may still prosper n' be heartiful, 

this ferris wheel of fate turns and turns, but dropped bombs'll empty carnivals… 

See n' read, Tyrants roam lands free of greed, 

Carrying their shadows in test tubes to conquer every particle…

…Stop your deadly articles, missionaries abroad gather the army; 

Heart and soul stay distant, so passionate? Hardly…

Stranglin fake hole clappers w. angles that break protractors, crackin ya sharply- 

so my ‘image can't be developed’, therefore i'll withstand any human force; 

yet ‘the flashing of cameras harm me’…

-

…The hammers that armed me… But I never quite arrived in reality, so I counted on genesis… 

Weaponry tempted me, while I searched for winged peace- 

found myself headed towards Mecca thru rocky deserts, mounted on Pegasus…

Shout til dawn, yes i'm pissed; Plowin all pessimists, 

refusing to be ignored, as was when I spoke it loud to God, begged n wished…

…Proud and tall, blessin' kids, none are free yet… 

but as lincoln would try, i'll emancipate soldiers, 

passin' fate holders and rage with a heat that could wrinkle the sky… 

As my mission requires, my vision retires… 

So I engage in staring contest with Death; Depleting our existence in the blink of an eye…

…Sink in to my, depths of cunning and muse, 

where we escape the many years of sonning, abuse; 

My son, it's of you we ask that raid the hall, brave them all, invade the walls, 

so that their leader is captured and hung in a noose…

…Sung it in tunes, now lyrics must come to life through frankenstien hymns… 

stitched together, the greatest care taken when I break n' bind limbs…

…So citizens could never break in my tims, walked too many starry pathways, 

low trees springing to life; swinging a knife- Ingorant hikes have scarred me past blades… 

Still I've carried on with lone hatchets, in faraway fields where the armies blast braves…

…A hearty task waits, among perilous troubles- we'll ride on to defeat Demons… 

Stride long til the feet weaken… 

Even our aliased seeds will feel the loss, sealed n' tossed as we pried thongs n' released seamen…

…I long to unleash, screamin- But the oaks and willows bear ears,

 all around us, all surround us with heavy air that pillows bare fear…

…Widowed fair peers, all for the good of our cause… 

for the good n' the flaws, for those who stepped in the castle and stood in the halls – 

Hooded n' tall when cowards drew back and he was hooked in the claws…

Beasts seized and breathed, took him and paused- The mere man looked neither shooken nor awed

But A glint of concentrated hatred froze in his eyes, and he wouldn't be thawed…

…This monster couldnt've saw, a flash and a twitch, and alone he stood in the halls…

With a slash in his wrists, Engraved were the words: ‘It aint happenin, bitch!’…

-

…Won't never happen to Disc, 

I assure you now- I'm too quick with the raps to slip in the cracks, 

molded by those who sit in the lacs without dubs and have risen the tax… 

Corporate pipes blow the steam of our dollars out, polluting our air and switching the axis…

…Hittin the wax is, all I can do to sleep as the night falls… 

Things I've seen in the dark would make you weep at the sight yall… 

Shadowy beings that creep after nightfall through thickening mist…

…Sickening twists lead me in to where the source of this Darkness lays, 

silver orbs glow strangely; Absorbing inner beauty until blood's coursing in heartless veins…

…Torching our parts with flames, evil winds wrap sheets of fog around my neck n' chest;

 lessen breaths with pure essence, yes! - 

Spirit becomes so dull, my undesigned atmosphere would whiten under just a speck of Crest…

…Yet recently I'm less impressed, carried on my days with these shadows upon me… 

None of my ammo is on, see? So sad though, it gnaws me… 

Visible scars, defined, seep in; parts of lines deepen,

 and All this decades after my fammo has gone free…

…Slam foes til dawn breathes, then grab anything that shimmers in sight… 

Thought weak, I'll hunt out precious treasures that deliver delight, glimmer in light, 

the plans now are simple - pilfer the bright, snatch silver n' fight…

…Feel such fire that would make my liver ignite, 

protruding from the gapes to the Doomed- there, destined to wait in a tomb, 

sits the One who reuinites kin, weaving our lifeline; ever facing the loom…

…A flower placed between the embers, waiting to bloom- 

My fingertips graze the sickly stem and waves of health did unfold… 

Stones shift, the gapes widens, flames have melted the gold… 

But I travel slowly down smooth steps, and see all tales of hell still untold…

…There's much wealth still unsold, pounds of tribute or wonder that will never be purchased, 

therefore will ever be worthless…

…So as time keeps repeating, and the clever sea merges… 

Stories of what we've become keep buried under our faith… 

Even as I numb n' scar, scathed; til I'm under large graves…

 Memories of a noble plunge to dark caves, yet never lunge when harms faced…

…The sons of our race will end up safe, heading steady for shore; 

On arrival, suiting up in bronze, journey to settle a score… 

All I ask, never allow the Lord to heal with sword n' shield, 

Carry out my last wishes, and always remain Ready For War…………



Glacier (Unfinished)


“It's not where you're from, or even where you are, but where you plan on going.”


Gelatin fields across the world's filthy face , such a silly race … humankind,

Sinks their teeth into that which they'll never really taste … 

Feeling feverish, our walks of life becoming such a chilly place .. is it really fate? 

And are there really gates waiting to welcome me , following satanists' heavenly peace n' guidance?

these bars have been a bleek confinement, shields from those who reach and seek enlightenments …… 

Heighten it, we're over our heads here … lead tears fall from hard facades, 

Galleries set in the basement, occupies the art of Gods … 

Against the winds you bare the darkest odds, deserts display your weakest feelings in a heart's mirage -

Arrive in arctic pods, passing through icy caves on a seven day cruise …

Fiery glaciers upon a solid sea, 

home to polar bears rolling squares, paper from yesterday's news … 

Set up lemonade booths, Serve the disciples of Allah to those who celebrate Zeus …

Donate profits to the poor, the loneliest peasants ..

from bare stockings & hallways to openin copious presents, 

hope is a blessin', but  too much faith in intangibles results in holy obsessions,

Until a bottle of jergens and bible chapters are your only possession …

So pay the closest attention,  button lips up when the show is in session,

because, in the simplest terms - every flow is impressive …….....

now relax, let ya phobia's lessen .. no stressin ..

air canals remaining perfectly clear in every person or peer,

finally the lights dim and fires swarm as i draw back the curtains … appear …

certainly feared, 



Eden's Graveyard


Like everything, everything, in itself will gradually come to an end,

fading into a perfect parallel of the Heavenly meadow where the same “everything” we inhabited once began... 



Gates part, only light shed's from within, but the blackness remains dark

 Lord formed his worlds with love, ha, here's where the path to the hate starts:

A statue, a gray park .. 

vanishes, magic by a master of grave arts .. 

bugs n‘ leaves shudder, revealed: staircase a hundred feet under, 

tile compiled of ashes & slain hearts ……

Brains carved, placed in plain jars on brass mantels gracing the walls .. 

half shredded heads float, barely there, chantin‘ phrases in drawls;

scandalous bastids graffin‘ racism scrawls, 

basing ’em all on tainted language encasin‘ rancid tastes in the jaw ……

Took life as you knew it & wasted it y'all .. 

step after step, earth's abandoned description .. 

soldiers of apocolyptic myth pitched in, 

very second they were handed the mission ..

Planned & envisioned existance in a frantic condition, 

unleashed the beasts of tomorrow out the closet .. as they land in the kitchen,

enchanted a fission, mutated in size, 

and on the eve of splicing each adam, few made it alive …… 

hues changin‘ the vibes, satan's flame framed with the rain in the sky .. 

for the most part only apes escape , maintain the sacredest tribes,

so screw faith in divine .. 

venture on down this hallway, tall blades through ankles n' spine .. 

but only if you tryna ‘walk back’ to a homeland that's wasted, 

frankly, aint in it's prime ……

only true safety ya find's inside brain n‘ the mind, 

hole in the wall where deaf, dumb and AIDS positive stay rapin‘ the blind

Awaken to find the final exit to this hell of a garden, 

a cascade of bloody mud where goblins yellin‘ with harps sit..

Felons & arsons celebrate with hella sick martians, 

pin point sweat glands and slash, scattered melanin's parted ..

Every fella's retarded, hearts slit .. 

fuckin‘ biblical guidelines, ass out in the background, dicked sittin‘ in dry ice

Transexuals, hexed, duel with dual digital white knives 

exhibitin‘ fight signs that splice eyes, leavin‘ guys' visions filled, 

prisms in which ribbons of light shine ……

Pride's pryed, diced by axes of atlas, stay strapped in the cemetary 

Parts ripped, assured; it's a far trip from where Malcolm & Lennon buried,

Wretched fairies, effin‘ scary as they sacrifice one of a dozen virgins

then snap back & crack in eleven cherries!

A raft to the devil's ferry, horrid horns & warped accordions hum 

Tortured Lords wieldin‘ guns, lava rock shells to be absorbed in the sun ..

Mary whorin‘ her son .. Christ inexperienced, 

got too horny & cummed so far before she was done ……

And go figure, it ends there. 

But it's also where the story begun. 


… I hand these tall tales life, givin fables a breath .. So ride along, maybe even step with me if you're able to flex ..

across stone rivers, and trails once leading to the Homes of immortals that I've strangled to death..

… Leave em disabled n' jet .. jump gates, boundin chairs ..

spot my escape route, n' make like dwarfs in a fashion show- run way down the stares..

… Back to earth, shave my head and nuns pray round the hairs .. Women can also get a piece, but it'll cost her a buck first --

Cuz these straight up flows had that Leaning Tower lookin like the posture of butlers..

… A monster of bloodthirst, been livin with the clouds since the first brotha cracked from life's struggle ..

Yet the rest'a humanity stays unaware that the known universe was just another crack of my knuckle..

… Utter facts when I'm troubled, full of images that could scatter the mind ..

so I feel I must inform you, it's only a matter of time ..

before our internal clocks melt, wasted days of mankind finally undoing the matter of time..

… Grab the ladder n' climb, don't bother to let me know when the sky is in sight ..

since all these kids nowadays stay whinin' despite,

the fact that for centuries i've been polishing cosmos so their precious stars continue shinin' at night.. 

… Now you can catch me when you flyin' a kite, providing the light that keeps ya spirit afloat-

cuz out there, labor laws sit back with a beer n a coke ..

watchin' sweat shops kill children so niggas can rock some new gear n' a coat..

… Don't fear it or mope, keyed words shoot through head's minds without their ear in a scope ..

but crack is what ruined my people, so it gives me chills when they tell me that my lyrics are dope..

… You hear it n' hope I never cross your path in a dark street .. sink my teeth into depth without gnashing at shark meat ..

Create snowy caps when I flow these raps, then scale my own level, steady grasping the art's peak..

… Gaspin w. heart beats, the line's waves turn shallow, then my poise is just flaccid n' dead ..

Soul travels through ages to that moment, make the poison run back in the lead ..

And a true writer never dies, so let me always exist as that voice in the back of ya head..



Chamber of Time (Incomplete)


Silence the grove .. Shiny skies, taking slow strides through my private abode 

life, what it holds, endless questions flying all inside of the dome,

then i heard a reply, lost in translation .. 

suddenly noticed a white box lying on the side of the road ..

bout the size of a toll, ya know, those foolish booths that gank change and block ya ride with a pole .. lol

a sign reading “sold” was hung on the entrance, 

a hunch it was once surrounded by hundreds of trenches, filled my senses ..

Busted a couple confessions, the power hangin in this chamber .. it's somethin infectious

attention to the doorknob, form carved into hands of a clock

in the most random of spots, standin atop .. but it wouldn't budge at a twist ..

deliver hammering knocks .. whether this does or doesn't exist

comin to grips, facts is, i'll never discover the truth .. 

then it hits me - simply enter in under the booth! 

wished for a shovel & POOF .. metal clang, it fell to the ground .. burnin crimson, turns to liquid, starts meltin the ground

trap door, path adorned with black swords,

finally, my entrance to this shelter is found ..

stairs velvet & brown, mounted on the walls, fifty digital watches,

chandeliers shapeshift everytime a tick & a tock hits, 

elevator ahead, shakes first n' then flashes me up to where this mystical box sits ..

ridiculous, odd ish .. 

booth's now a dark room, just fairly scented with despair n' vengeance

a faded white rope hangs, centered in mid air suspension

Step in, step back and solid brick stands .. way i came in ends with gray cement blockin it's path ..

again, walk in & stand, think damn, chain of events was just so shockin n' fast,

take a five minute glance at the woven rope, overdose on broken hope;

judgement, dropped it n' grabbed, 

as toxens n' gas passed feelings greater than fear --

vapor was cleared, optics is grasped .. 

then another elevator appeared - a single clock in the shaft.

gasped, enter slowly, doors shudder n' close quick .. 

rope lifts .. mutterin, ‘oh shit’ ..

a slight rumble, then came the faint fragrance of thunder n' rose lips ..

shutters split open, “.... what the fuck”?

prehistoric forest, covered in floods n' erosion, half attacked by the ice age

head tweaked, already; entire fuckin southern is frozen ……

Nose twitched, toes shift on their own to a barren castle of rock, 

where pterodactyls'll flock, 

attempt to give em the boot with a “shoe”! .. 

if only I wasn't was wearing sandals & socks …



Mother Earth's Abortion? (feat. Bladed Thesis)


Cruel Nether Birth Never Worse, Health Contorted

Damn Die, We Gang Raped Mother Nature & She Self Aborted

Cold Glance, No Chance What We Dealt Gets Twarted

Cuz The Twins Of Hell Consorted & Our Spells Cavorted

Mother Nature In Labor, Exhumed From A Tomb

The Day My Leniency Frequency Was Retuned In The Womb

Floating In Mucus, Body Soaking & Toothless

Then She Hacked Me Out, Fucking Bloated & Useless

Mouth Open To Fluids, Nothing Disturbed Me

Introspective, She Saw This Ugly Kid Squirming

Then I Felt Gentle Metal Scrap My Ankle Sharp

In My Naval Starts A Tube That Shoots In A Natal Arc

Pumping Gene Substance! But Why's She Seem Upset?

Puttings Scissors To Livers, Is The Stream Cut Yet?

Born Torn & Disformed, Gaia Found It's Center

Callous Beings With Malice Feelings & A Renown Dementia

Her Cold Placenta Was Discarded In Tragic Revulsion

A Sort Of Big Bang? Blood Stained, It Vanished In Oceans

Causing Massive Explosions & Potent Earthquakes

Showing The Empty Connotation A Hopeless Birth Takes

In A Cloud Of Acid, Tasting Flesh Proud & Acrid

How Dull! A Mouthful, I Spoke & Found It Happened

Demons Grown, Two Semen Clones Of A Misshaped Fetus

Her Mind Let Us Survive In Moments Of Great Weakness

I Scrapped Reaches Of A Void-Like Birth Canal

It Hurt Awhile As The Pursed Earth Turned Versatile

Saw An Arcane Sight: Mother With A Ranged Slight

Slit Her Clit, The Pussy Bled Out & Cells Became Life

Insane, Right? She Never Really Wanted A Child

Now Taunted & Riled, She's Often Caught In Denile

Heart Missing Things! It Starts Dripping, Bleds

Pussy All Crimson Liquid Ticking To Mozart Symphonies

She Gurgled Her Spit, Hurled The World In A Ditch

You Think This Planet's Bad? Shit, Her Girl Is A Bitch

Its All Bout Earth & Hell, So Learn This Well

A Cauterized Pregnancy, You Only Taste Burning Smells

Before First Breath It Was All Smothering Hugs

A Mixmash Of A Thick Axe, Skin Gashed! Call It Motherly Love

Im Wondering What Happened That Day In The Clinic

As Father Time Used The Hanger, Mom Was Praying He'd Finish

Fingers Straining The Limits With Plastic Threads

He'd Stab & Weez, Trying To Catch A Piece Of Flacid Heads

A Jagged Edge Ripped Open My Token Femur Bone

Same Old, Skeleton's Like Playdough My Sutures Show

Nature & Time Reject Me, You Don't Know Hardship, Man

Often Sad, Too Bad For Mom & Dad There's No Garbage Can

Or Adoption Agency, This Shit Haunts & Aches In Me

With A Frown, She Kicked Me Down, We're Talking Fragrantly

Embalming Sores Covered Her Hands, A Calming Storm

Shameless, She Hates Us! Why You Think There's All This War?

Rise Above The Sky & Sun, An Aborted Seed's Time's Come

So Humorous The Future's Bliss: Stick A Fork In Me, Im Done

Useful Anger? Doppelgangers Arrived Unsolicited

Her Next Doubt: All Stretched Out, Numb With The Kids

Agitated, She's Mad & Baited By The Dual Pains

Life's Cruel Games! No Father & Son Connection Fuel Angst

An Apocalypse Rocking Ships, Then It Stops Cold

In Earth Years, We're Minute Men When The Clocks Toll

Skew Fate, Its Too Late To Murmur A Heartful Curse

Wasn't Welcomed Or Held, Son! Thats An Impartial Birth


“.. & as I fell, limp and weak, to rock bottom from that unholy bitch's uterus ..

I swore that my revenge would consume everything she had created before me.”



body shakin, watery sight absorbs a rag & a gleaming knife

teething on reason, my being seeming trapped in a demon's life,

read or write, seeing light rise from my chest in abstract contortions

jagged portions of organs, whoring mama nature from her last abortion

a pastor's fortune, depleted in the instant my existance was known

destined to sit in a throne ... of stitches & bone,

still I lay here, seeped in my own dried blood .. I just wish it was home.

missin a dome, scalp's pulsating fleshy substances, a trace of a brain

Doc took blades to the frame .....

30 seconds breathin', already feelin the basis of this matrix of pain ..

a world where racism reigns, abusing my mother with pollution, i'm smothered

fools with tools that blaze through reality, 

packin heat that rapidly shoots with eyes covered..

flies flutter, land & feed upon my oozing sores reeking of trash bins

Bladed brother separated, conseived em n' had twins,

weakened & flaccid, take a second look around & a week had just passed, shit

rashes n‘ blue bruises, yet somehow the outer shell steadily hardens

transported: cubed rooms, embedded red & green carpets

emergency surgery merges where my energy & centipede hearts is 

target each lung with incisions, glistening axes n' saws

innards is ashen & raw, so the minute a hatchet's installed, 

out each knuckle bursts retractable claws, 

attackin these quack faggots , sickenin‘ cracks in the jaw 

crawl a foot or 2, nurses birth weapons n' shoot

self taught the art of walkin tall & put my lessons to use

stand, chant my nana's ancient blessing to zeus, brings thunder to lips

tap thumb to the wrist;

then the rest'a the dudes take trip with aladdin to the tip of a canyon,

til mufasa slides up beside ’em & it crumbles to bits ……

hunters with fifths burst inside, turn in stride - a single nod n' i'm out in a flash

shouts n' a gasp, thousands of blasts,

.. as i fade out and reappear a sheeted spirit, crowned in fountains of glass

mountains n' grass, sky 40 feet above sea level, aside the rockiest crag

where i perfect my own unstoppable craft,

control all 4 elements .. in simultaneous waves & at the drop of a hat,

flat ground paved in silver, flash my intangible tactics & summon a snowstorm

one of the stones tore & savage avanlanches crash the passage, then tumble to cold floor..

grow thorns out of hard soil, entire atlas consumed

every infant playing outside left dead with gashes & wounds,

ravaging cruise ships, crew flips, gettin' swallowed up by nuclear whale sharks

most unruly of hail starts, parting skulls, whole city of london floods

pumpin blood with oh, so very truly a stale heart..

impale arts, hemispheres near shredded here, suddenly the demon's light vanished-

there stood Mom dukes herself;

golden crossbow, with aarows sanded from the tree of life's branches,

Aye, Atlas approaches, rolls with ole' Father time in hearses of bronze-ish,

stopwatch in hand, nature halts herself in a blur as he reverses the process,

no contest as Atlas turns the earth n' laughs as the doom n' sin,

all gets washed down the drain, took my action n' ruined it,

raised his hands to the moon & then threw a cent to the fountain that extracted my human skin…………


“Watching life itself in rewind, my fetal being resurfaced & my power was ripped from each bloody, baby fingertip ..”


Trapped in a tomb, a den .. 

both haunting spawns that day were snatched, transported back to the womb again.


.. n' that brings us to, the end.


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